Setting Entry 6: This Novel Is in the SF Category (I Never Said There Was No Occult Stuff)

Riot Blood

An energy drink series released to the world by the America-headquartered Gatling Drum using a proprietary confidential blend. Legal.

One sip blows away your drowsiness, and one can makes even brutal late-night work no problem at all. For some reason, consuming five or more cans within twenty-four hours is strictly forbidden, and the records apparently show that several people have actually done so, but nobody knows what became of them. It's legal.

The government comes around to inspect them on a regular basis, and private citizens are constantly investigating them too, saying, "There's absolutely something in this that violates the law," but they contain neither illegal drugs nor an amount of caffeine that violates any law. Therefore, legal.

If the energy drinks sold before Gatling Drum was founded were pistols, Riot Blood hits you with caffeine on the level of a battleship-mounted railgun. And yet, legal.

Every year, protesters demonstrate in front of the headquarters building shouting, "Stop distributing illegal drinks! Disclose the drink's formula!" and every year, as an established tradition, the CEO personally proves right there in front of headquarters through caffeine-content and drug testing that the company has absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Incidentally, the protesters are given that year's newest product for free. This is also legal. Actually, that's what you're after, isn't it, protesters.

One occult rumor claims that "physically speaking, it's really just an energy drink, but the souls of warriors who died amid the madness and frenzy of human history have dissolved into Rioters' BloodRiot Blood, and that's why it hits so hard, divine punishment is going to come down on them eventually," but the anonymous somebody who proposed this theory had become a devoted Riot Blood user two months later. Legal, approved by God.

In Japan, perhaps because someone decided the stuff works far too well and is therefore dangerous, a slightly watered-down version is sold, but apparently American-made Riot Blood is traded through the black-market routeoverseas shipping. No, that's just straight-up legal.

The reason the occult theory is whispered around with such apparent credibility is supposedly that the CEO and every other executive at Gatling Drum dress in black robes and triangular hoods, making them look for all the world like participants in some occult cult's sabbat. Gatling Drum's official statement is, "We are all extremely shy, ordinary private citizens, and therefore conceal our faces." Legal, by an extremely suspicious margin.

Incidentally, the name Gatling Drum does not mean "rapid-fire gunGatling magazinedrum," but rather "rapid-firedGatling'd battering ramram." [*1]

Product Lineup

Riot Blood

The memorable first release and the immortal flagship product. A monster energy drink that assaulted an energy-drink industry busy playing Wild West with pistols by rolling in aboard a cutting-edge, fully armed battleship, and even now there are plenty of users who still love the original Riot Blood. Look for the black minotaur clutching a battering ram.

Riot Blood: Undead

A product distinguished by the slogan "Even a corpse will get back up!" and the ominous warning "Under no circumstances allow this product to come into contact with a corpse." The results of exposing a corpse to the contents are [REDACTED]. Legal. In other words, that means it's Safe. Look for the green zombie clutching a battering ram.

Very re fresh ing. But never let it touch a corpse.

Riot Blood: Backdraft

A blazing, passionate product that lets you feel the caffeine circulating throughout your entire body with every breath you take, giving you something resembling the sense of omnipotence you'd expect after having your body modified. It is especially popular among athletes who actually use their bodies in competition, and is probably the most drug-tested product in the entire Riot Blood series. But it's legal. Look for the red firefighter clutching a battering ram.

Riot Blood: Quantum

Obviously a liquid meant for human consumption isn't going to glow by itself, HAHAHA……… Incidentally, the can emits a bluish-white glow at night. A product that even hardcore users couldn't bring themselves to reach for until an official public institution had certified it as legal. Contrary to its ominous appearance, the caffeine does not hit all that hard, but for some reason, after drinking it you can apparently eat any sort of grotesque food without a problem. Bugs…… steamed meat, things like that. Look for the smiling boy clutching a battering ram.[*2]

Riot Blood: Tonight

Coming this summer, Riot Blood has finally surpassed Hypnos───! The latest model, said to let you endure two straight all-nighters after opening a single can, and a product evocative of the awakening of some new monster. Despite obviously being completely legal, for some reason it still has not been released in Japan. Strange how these things happen, isn't it. Look for the man in a suit clutching a battering ram.

Riot Blood: Revolve Lantern

Unreleased. A new Riot Blood secretly developed under the development code "RB-VI," designed to deliver dramatic effects over a short period of time. It was originally intended for customers such as athletes and pro gamers who "require enormous concentration for short periods," and gives you the sensation that your brain is bursting, but astonishingly enough, it is legal. The formula itself was more or less complete and only the name and packaging remained to be decided, but the design was finalized out of respect for "dramatic promotional activity by an ordinary citizen" in a certain island nation. Look for the pumpkin-headed jack-o'-lantern clutching a battering ram under one arm and holding a lantern in the other.

Author's Afterword

Settings like these that are doomed to be gag settings no matter what you do are hard to work into the main story……

The author likes Monster Energy and Red Bull just fine too, but personally prefers 9MM.

Translator's Notes

• [1] Gatling Drum: The Japanese ガトリングドラム normally splits as ガトリング + ドラム, "Gatling" + "drum." The joke shifts the boundary by one mora to ガトリングド + ラム, effectively "Gatling'd" + "ram."
• [2] Riot Blood: Quantum: The bluish-white glow is a reference to Nuka-Cola Quantum from the Fallout series.