Chapter 780: December 14th: Instant Death Spell
To begin with, the only explanation we got was "participate in the summit." No, seriously, that was it.
However, the fact that it was an order from Vash meant it was an objective for the Unique Scenario EX, meaning the option to ignore it never existed in the first place. In other words, getting here was the predetermined route, and from here on out, we'd be completely ad-libbing.
"Sooo, where exactly are we being guided to from here?"
"Indeed! I have heard the details from Vysache-dono! Our King Nyai has sent word that you and your companions are to be treated as esteemed guests!"
Nyai...... Ah, that Maneki-neko. Some time ago, when the Jeweler cat purr-loined from me, he was the Cait Sith who came to apologize, speaking in an exaggeratedly stereotypical cat-dialect and looking like a Maneki-neko statue. Although, that seemed less like an apology to me and more like an apology for committing a dishonorable act toward Vash......
"By the way, mind if I ask what exactly we're supposed to do here?"
"Mu? I was told to guide you to the spectator seats."
Spectator seats? Are we listening to something? Well, it's probably the contents of the multi-species summit, but.........
"Is it okay for these guys behind me to participate too?"
"It should not be a problem! Either way, since you humans have crossed the raging waves to arrive here, this matter does not lack relevance to you!"
"Hear that? Go ahead and share your thoughts on taking a step closer to the truth of the world in one sentence each."
"Huh."
"If it's a summit, how many all-nighters are required?"
"I suppose it's too much to hope they sell firearms here."
"A cat's tongue is super rough, so wouldn't it be amazing if they licked you?"
"Alright, stick your ass out."
"Use a thrusting motion, please! If I'm being greedy, a back-and-forth motion!!"
"Striking motion!!"
"Ahaan!!"
The answer was "Strike." Ignoring Deep Slaughter, who had just taken an ass-bat from the un-deployed Centipede Type Tausend, we headed toward the second-largest thing in Catzeria (the first, naturally, being the cow-kun currently yawning far above our heads)───namely, the castle of this country known as Catzeria.
......
............
Now then, one must not underestimate the Kingdom of Cats. To begin with, look at the cultural standard of the Country of Rabbits. Hell, there's even a suspicion that their civilization level is higher than the demi-humans of the New Continent, so it was pretty obvious from the start, but after entering the European-style castle, we were guided to one of the guest rooms.
"You know, strictly speaking, the exterior of the castle isn't actually a castle."
"It's like... a reverse papier-mâché set, or something......"
"Is it okay to light a fire in this space? Are we gonna suffocate?"
Survival's concern had a point. Because this castle...... I realized it the moment we walked in. This wasn't a building. They had carved the canyon wall to look like the exterior of a castle, and then dug out a space within the canyon itself. Rather than a European-style castle, this was more like Egyptian ruins. I mean, there were even massive cat stone statues sitting around looking like Komainu or Sphinxes.
"Well, at least the beds aren't made of rock."
"Beds are important. After all, an all-nighter requires high-quality sleep. Though I usually sleep in my office chair, hahaha."
A moment of silence. Realizing the danger of letting this atmosphere continue, Deep Slaughter quietly formed a ring with her thumb and index finger and began sliding her other index finger in and out of it, so I delivered a slightly-held-back ass-bat.
"Seriously, knock it off."
"Ufufu, sorrry. But our timing is perfect, which means our physical compatibility is the be—"
A full-power ass-bat.
"Buh."
If anything, it was a Turbo ass-bat using a skill.
"Hey, Sunraku."
"What."
"That's gradually starting to look like some kind of roleplay."
"........................Then what am I supposed to do?"
"Your voice sounded incredibly desperate just now......"
The cigarette burns aren't working anymore...... Or rather, lately she's been casting Regen on herself before spouting her dirty jokes, so even if I don't do anything, her HP just keeps recovering.........
"Well, you know. Why don't you try accepting it to some extent with a tolerant heart?"
"Yeah, exactly, just let it go and get comfortable........."
Although the hand gripping the Centipede Type Tausend tightened, I realized Survival might actually have a point. Accepting it, or rather, counter-attacking from a different angle.........
"Hey, turn around for a sec."
"Again? Geez, you're so insatiable......"
I silently approached Deep Slaughter, who turned around with a wide grin, and brought my face close to her ear......
Eat this, a technique taught directly by Iwamaki-san: "I've encountered this situation in every single Otome game, so honestly I don't feel any emotion from it anymore, but putting that aside, if it's your first time experiencing it, the whisper-voice muttered right into your ear from behind has quite a bit of destructive power"! Back when I was relentlessly speed-running Love Clock, if you didn't start sprinting the moment one of the heroines called out to you from behind, you'd trigger the Pizza End, so I kinda understand that feeling too!!
"───Such a bad girl. You really enjoy getting under my skin, don't you? ...My little kitten."
"Nnih."
Deep Slaughter's body stiffened for a moment, almost making me hallucinate that she had bugged out, before she stumbled toward the bed like a drunkard, flopped down, and stopped moving.
"I see, Survival. So this is what you meant!"
"No, that is not what I meant."
Sunraku learned a new technique!
Cait Siths dressed in maid outfits brought drinks to the room a few times, but it took a full thirty minutes before the NPC who would actually kickstart the main event arrived—a wait time that could only be described as an absolute outrage for this type of game. No seriously, making players wait this long would be an unforgivable sin in a single-player offline game...... Honestly, it's bordering on unacceptable even for an MMO.
"Sorry to keep you waiting! The summit is about to begin, so allow me to guide you to the spectator seats!"
"He says."
"I was so bored I almost legitimately fell asleep."
"I truly never thought I'd find myself killing time with a game of Shiritori at my age......"
"Well, isn't it better than playing Shiritori by yourself, Yashirobird-san?"
"The fact that playing Shiritori by yourself even came up as an option is messed up."
"How long are you gonna sleep? Wake up, Deep Slaughter."
Twitch! She convulsed, so she wasn't a corpse just yet.
Author's Afterword
A woman who, never having expected to be hit with a surprise attack by the actual person delivering the exact angry voice she had been imitating, spent the entire time in a state of confusion, repeatedly replaying and reinforcing the memory in her mind.
Furthermore, it's a space fundamentally filled with nothing but weirdos. You have one guy who pretends to be the voice of reason but had his fetishes warped after taking a surprise attack from a little-devil-style voice, another guy who, while playing Shiritori, was running mental simulations of an armed group kicking down the door and breaching the room, and another guy who realized for the first time in ages that playing Shiritori with multiple people is more fun than playing it alone.
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