Chapter 736: Alcohol-Free Kahlúa Milk

For the time being, let's summarize the situation.

Uhh, first, releasing the glass to Survival, who just slid a glass filled with alcohol over here with an earnest thumbs-up.

"Hey Wimp, if you're throwing a year-end party, tell me beforehand."

"i don't know anything about this!!"

"Alright, got it. Just sit there and act arrogant."

Ooh, as expected of Sammy-chan-san. She's diverting attention away from Wimp by being the one to intimidate them; maybe I should learn from that artisan-like assist performance... now then.

"You there, macho man, give your order after taking a seat."

"Eh? Ah, auh, um... yes. A whiskey on the rocks..."

"I am terribly sorry, but we are currently out of whiskey... How about a Kahlúa Alugal-Goat Milk, without the liquor?"

"Eh, a-ah, yes! I'll take that!"

"Alugal-Goat" is probably a monster name, so if you remove that, it's Kahlúa Milk, and if you take the liquor out of that, isn't that basically just coffee milk?

The giant macho man who is clearly younger on the inside than anyone else present... Ougaboshi? Since chan-san took a seat at the counter with the gloomy-looking Goldunine, the first Goldunine has been successfully suppressed for now.

"Kahlúa... Kahlúa... somehow, it sounds like a really special drink...!"

It's coffee milk, little missymacho man.

Also, the player who slid the entire bottle of whiskey over here was quietly being dragged behind the shop by Survival and the others. He's probably that lolicon guy whose excitement scales with realism... Ah, blunt impact sounds.

"U... Ugh..."

"...Hmph."

The gloomy Nine, who is terrified just looking at Wimp and Sammy-chan-san, seems fundamentally like the same trash-tier weakling type as Wimp, but whereas Wimp screams and cries, this one seems to have a slightly different flavor of cowardice compared to our resident wimp.

How should I put it... this one gives off the feeling of being on the verge of throwing up from being unable to endure the stress... The type whose mental health chips away not from external stimuli, but from internal psychological load.

To put it in easy-to-understand terms, it's the difference between the "I hate horror games because jumpscares startle me" type and the "I hate horror games because taking a single step into the darkness triggers an intense physical rejection response" type. The former complains a lot but can play horror games normally, while the latter is a guy who could legitimately die of shock.

For these types, it's best to just leave them alone for now; if you don't let them make the first move, things get complicated. You know, like those berserker-type characters where if you talk to them, they go out of control.

I vaguely remember Pencilgon once using an analogy—I have no idea what she meant, yet somehow totally understood it—saying, "It's like when you're holding in your urge to go to the bathroom to the absolute limit. If someone talks to you, it's game over, but if you're the one talking, you can manage it because it's during a timing where you can endure it, right?" When I pointed out that she's usually the one making people lose control, she made me self-destruct.

Now, the problem is this side—a pair practically crackling with combat readiness. A delicate-looking man in tattered equipment that screams "I survived on a deserted island for two months!", and a Goldunine with somewhat self-deprecatingstrong-willed eyes... These guys are already a lost cause, their bladders have hit the limit. Wait, the bathroom has nothing to do with it; just poking them a little could trigger a battle.

"...Heh."

But who do you think I am? I am the great, battle-hardened trash-gamer. I've experienced situations where I thought a battle was starting only to transition into an event scene enough times to build a Highlander deck out of them.

"Master, I'll have the same thing as the macho man over there."

"Right away."

"Hey, hey, this is an eatery, you know? You should keep your bloodlust and weapons tucked away."

Nailed it...

"Wait, at least let me stay here!"

"Shut up! Stop clinging to the mortal realm, you lolisoulcon! Go back to the underworld!"

"I don't wanna hear that from you, Saba-san!"

"Hey, bring the salt, the salt!"

"Saba-san! We've got rock salt!"

"Alright, die already, you bastard!"

You ruined the mood, you idiots.

The cafe suddenly became noisy and started smelling of blood due to an internal purge among the fetish-barbarians. With this, claiming "peace" was a bit too much of a stretch, so instead of focusing on the Goldunine who was part of the world's lore (and seemed more put-together than Wimp), I shifted my aim toward the real-world player... "Shiyu"-shi.

"Ah, don't mind those idiots. Deep down, this place is basically just an all-boys high school."

"...Is that, so."

Huh? I thought things would proceed with a slightly friendlier vibe, but he's on full combat alert too, huh? Is he a roleplayer heavily invested in the world setting?

"I'm... well, you can tell by looking above my head, but I'm Sunraku."

"Ah... I'm sorry. I have my UI hidden, so..."

"What?"

Having the UI hidden? That doesn't just mean you can't see players' names; it means your own HP, MP, and even Stamina are hidden.

There are probably guys who do that as a handicap challenge or a hobby, but I sense a different atmosphere from this man named Shiyu compared to those types. This... is the type who does it naturally.

"Heh... You hear that, Survival? Could you fight with a UI handicap?"

"I'd like to say it's similar to the solitary island... but if he can pull that off on the New Continent, that's genuinely impressive. Also, here..."

"I said don't casually slip me bribes like it's a natural conversation flow."

In this game, hiding the UI doesn't mean you can't open windows, so it's actually not that big of a handicap. But setting that aside, having it on is undeniably more convenient.

If he's been pushing through with that handicap on the New Continent—which is quite a hellscape even if you desperately scrape your way out of the Sea of Trees—then just as Survival said, it's genuinely impressive.

And then, Shiyu-shi spoke while staring fixedly at me. As expected, that gaze held a much stronger shade of a roleplayer than a gamer.

"...Are you,"

"Hm?"

"Are you... contracted with her?"

Contracted? Contracted... huh?

"Hey Wimp, what's a contract?"

"it's that thing that got repelled when i bit you."

Ah, the "Curse."

"Five seconds."

"eh?"

Four, three, two, one... Smack!!

"As you can see, the contract got canceled because of a previous customer, so if anything... I'm her guardian?"

At my words, not Shiyu-shi who asked the question, but the two Goldunines other than Wimp directed a gaze at me that clearly said, "Is this guy serious?"

...Did I do something wrong?

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Author's Afterword

From the perspective of the entities numbering ten and above, Sunraku is acting incredibly insolent towards an existence practically equal to "that" Goldunine, yet for some reason, he's being allowed to live.