Chapter 681: First-Class Ojou-samas Do Not Say "Excrement"
Author's Preface
Please consider this chapter a sort of palate cleanser.
Subject: Re: Gave it a try for now
Sender: Takeda Ingen
To: Sunraku
Body: We are discussing our impressions here, de gozaru, so I would very much like Sunraku-shi to join us, de gozaru.
https://xxxxxzzzzxxxxxxxxxxyyyyyyyxxxxx
"This URL... it's a trash-game chat room."
Commonly known as "The Scene." I heard it used to be an anonymous system in the early days, but at some point, the personalities of the residents became so distinct that they transitioned to a name-display chat system or something.
Since I'm still a junior member and their vibe is rather unique, I usually just observe...... but maybe I'll actually participate a little this time. Even after Rei-san logged out, I secretly stayed up all night playing, so I've mostly grasped the core issues with this game. As long as the topic is restricted to this game, I should be able to keep up with the veterans of the scene!
Let's see, the room name is.........
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Room for Elegantly Discussing the Merits and Demerits of De-Belion: Room No. 8
62: Muramura-Tadashi
Haaah! Those excrement-tier aristocrats shall be massacred from their branch families down to their youngest descendants, deshite yooo!!
63: Count Shakushaku
Trampling over another's harem and reducing them to mere stains upon the earth is the highest form of entertainment, deshite yo, Muramura-Tadashi-san?
64: Turnip Farmer
One cannot simply swallow the spit one has already expectorated, nakute yo? I shall presently dispatch a rugged macho army, their mental exhaustion maximized, directly to your doorstep, masu wa.
65: Count Shakushaku
Your jests go far too far, sugimashite yo! Deploying macho-terrorism against a beautiful-girl unification is strictly prohibited by international wartime law, masu wa!!
66: Perfec☆Tion
There is neither law nor excrement in a fantasy world, arimasen no yo, let us simply convert the Count's army to a ninety percent muscle ratio and be done with it!!
◆
"............O-Oh."
I really wish they would stop recreating a hellish, end-of-the-century wasteland that is about fifteen times worse than I imagined. I feel as though all my teeth were shattered just by trying to take a bite... However! I will not give up yet! If my teeth are gone, I just have to fight back with full dentures!!
I spent about five minutes mentally preparing myself. Here I go, Kamakura!!
◇◆◇◇
103: Uesugi Kenchin
Ultimately, regardless of whether it is a beta version, a management team that mocks its user base to this extent is nothing short of pure, unadulterated excrement, deshite yo.
104: Takeda Ingen
It is precisely because it is a beta version that we must accept it with an open and tolerant heart, deshite yo, Uesugi-shi.
As long as they are seeking crowdfunding, regardless of how individuals perceive it, I have always maintained that it is far too premature to label them as excrement solely based upon their management policies, itteimasu no yo.
105: Count Shakushaku
However, you two, even taking that into consideration, their methods of making utter fools of the users are simply too egregious to overlook, amarimashite yo.
106: Turnip Farmer
Considering they actively attempt to force us into multiplayer parties, possessing a system that mandates infighting the very moment a party is formed is something they truly ought to rectify before the retail release, omoimasu wa ne......
107: Muramura-Tadashi
My word, calling it "infighting" is frightfully vulgar, deshite yo! How should a proper Ojou-sama phrase such a thing, iindesu no......?
108: Sunraku
If there are alternatives, perhaps a turf war, desu wa?
109: Turnip Farmer
Rather than abbreviating it, wouldn't Internal Gewalt suffice perfectly, yokute?
110: Uesugi Kenchin
I was wondering who that was, it is that boy from Takeda's place.
111: Takeda Ingen
I am the one who summoned him, yobimashita no yo. As an active Bakumatsu patriot, I believed we could glean some valuable insight.
112: Muramura-Tadashi
Oh my, a barbarian.
113: Count Shakushaku
>>112
That is terribly vulgar, deshite yo! Though I certainly cannot deny it.
114: Sunraku
Err, a very good day to you all, ladies.
Upon the esteemed recommendation of Takeda-oneesama, I spent the entirety of the night playing through the game, desu wa.
115: Turnip Farmer
My, what an exquisitely bizarre attempt at Ojou-sama parlance you possess, desu wa ne.
116: Takeda Ingen
We would very much like to hear your opinion, kikitai desu wa: is De-Belion utter excrement or not?
117: Uesugi Kenchin
No matter how decent the game itself may be, if the management is trash, the game cannot escape the rightful slander of being called excrement, nogaremasen no yo.
Furthermore, the one involved with De-Belion is that damn shitty hen-bastard... excuse me, that excrement hen-gentleman, Kira, desu no yo!
118: Perfec☆Tion
Ah, Kira... It seems his dreadful habit of obsessively laying Easter eggs has not been cured even now, nai you desu no.
I confirmed Kira's face mixed in among the angels in the religious painting on the ceiling of the tavern on the second floor, shimashite yo.
119: Uesugi Kenchin
If it were only that, we could still tolerate it, dekimasu wa! The genuine problem is his other wretched habit of hiding the game's core mechanics until the very last possible second, deshite yo!!
120: Takeda Ingen
Kira simply adores forcing you into a trap once before providing the countermeasures for said trap, desu mono ne......
121: Sunraku
I do apologize, but due to my generation, I am not intimately familiar with this person, desu wa.
122: Turnip Farmer
Could you kindly refrain from conceptually bludgeoning us with your youth, oyame ni natte?
123: Count Shakushaku
I see... Sunraku-kun is from the exact generation of Kira's retirement phase...
124: Fucho-Henza
In the first place, considering that the Three Psychopath Trio of Kira, Yoshimura, and Kichijoji have joined hands, Uesugi-sama's profound frustration should be accepted as a fundamental premise, mono desu wa yo.
125: Muramura-Tadashi
・Kira
The Excrement Hen-Gentleman. A sloppy, gaping cloaca who cannot find peace unless he sneaks at least ten Easter eggs into a game.
Furthermore, he loves surprises so dearly that he will not even initiate the tutorial until he has successfully trapped you once. He is Psychopath No. 1, desu no.
・Yoshimura
A monster of a man who sustains himself by feeding upon the emotion of fear. A complete lunatic who immediately resorts to grotesque imagery whenever he finds himself in a pinch.
Moreover, he does not merely love fleshy gore, but also trypophobia-inducing clusters, meaning simply having his name attached increases a game's danger level by thirty percent. He is Psychopath No. 2, desu no.
・Kichijoji
A genuine psychopath auntie who caused a broadcasting incident during a prime-time national television show by coming out and stating: "I cannot live unless I watch human relationships collapse at least once a week," and "I possess a homemade film recording the entire affair of an acquaintance's infidelity scandal."
Among these three, she is undoubtedly the most dangerous. She is Psychopath No. 3, desu no.
126: Takeda Ingen
If only they did not possess such terrible habits, they would be legendary creators, which makes this entire situation truly bothersome, desu wa ne......
127: Sunraku
To put it mildly, is this some sort of cursed Gu poison jar, perchance, desu wa?
128: Uesugi Kenchin
It infuriates me all the more because they manage to drag the game's overall quality into the negative red simply because of their personal vices, no desu wa!!
129: Perfec☆Tion
It frustrates me to admit, but when it comes to depicting the utter collapse of human relationships, I cannot think of anyone superior to Kichijoji-obasama. I have no choice but to rate her highly, enai desu wa.
130: Muramura-Tadashi
The singular time my physical body was ever dragged down by my mental state while in Full-Dive, forcing a mandatory logout due to severe nausea, was in "Endlessly Clear Red Tears," a scenario penned by Kichijoji. Never before, and never since, dake desu no.
131: Count Shakushaku
Her method of time-slipping and meticulously, methodically tearing the protagonist's identity to shreds from edge to edge is the work of a psychopath, regardless of how anyone attempts to defend it, desu wa yo.
And executing that upon the protagonist—meaning the player—cements her as the genuine deal, desu no.
132: Takeda Ingen
The conversation has derailed a bit too far, ladies, sugitemashite yo. We are gathered here to evaluate the game, not the humanity of its creators, nai no desu wa yo.
133: Sunraku
You make a fair point, desu wa.
134: Fucho-Henza
We may have a point, but we have been far too deeply scarred by them to completely write them off as irrelevant, ukesugimashite yo.
135: Turnip Farmer
*Queen's Security* turned into absolute garbage because the Producer's wife decided to interfere, did it not, narimashita wa ne......
136: Perfec☆Tion
That was not his wife; it was his affair partner, desu wa yo.
The wife discovered the affair because of the *Queen's Security* incident, and it descended into a remarkably messy, absolute bloodbath, nattan desu no.
137: Muramura-Tadashi
That was a case Kichijoji absolutely rejoiced over, deshite yo.
Or rather, rumor dictates that the homemade film Kichijoji leaked was the full, unedited record of that exact incident, uwasa desu wa.
138: Count Shakushaku
In the end, the wife seized custody and all the alimony, and the story goes down in history as a cautionary tale: "He could protect the Queen, but he could not protect himself." And that was the end of it, nan desu no.
139: Turnip Farmer
After that, they released two more games, both of which flopped spectacularly, and they have been completely MIA ever since, desu wa ne......... Though *Dobe-One Racer* and *Dogeza Drive* were quite enjoyable for us.
140: Sunraku
Since the conversation derails so effortlessly, I shall provide my overall review right now, desu wa.
For the time being, I believe the core issue with this game is simply that the developer's malice is far too blatant, which thoroughly ruins the mood, desu wa.
I certainly did not expect it to be a seasonal battle royale to decide a top ten instead of a player-cooperative game, and the complete lack of systemic explanations in-game is a bit too unfriendly, desu wa.
However, transitioning into PvP midway—and doing so not through players punching each other, but by shifting into a struggle to steal NPCs from a dwindling pool—firmly establishes its own unique identity, desu wa.
The difference between this and Bakumatsu lies entirely in the shared awareness between the management and the users, desu wa. In Bakumatsu, the users smile as they dive into the massive holes dug by the management, but here, the developers hiding the holes they have dug is what makes it excrement, desu wa.
Honestly, I get the distinct feeling that if they simply brought in someone capable of creating a decent UI, it would be vastly improved, desu wa.
141: Turnip Farmer
By the way, if you perish even once in the game, you become imperceptible to players with zero deaths, narimasu wa. The fact that they did not outright ban you until the end of the season is the one sliver of sanity I will praise the Three Psychopaths for, sashiagemasu no.
I had a bountiful harvest of turnips, so I pledged two million.
142: Fucho-Henza
Dead men tell no tales, after all, deshite yo.
But the consistency is slightly sloppy, desu node, so I will hold out hope for the retail release, desu no. I slapped down 100k, komimashita wa.
143: Perfec☆Tion
The ghosts of deceased NPCs standing at your bedside and whispering curses during the loading screens is truly pure refuse, desu wa. Depending on the Ojou-sama in question, that could induce neurosis, deshite yo.
I threw in 2,000 yen, iremashita wa.
144: Sunraku
"The only time you regret the pawns you discarded is when you lack enough to proceed." Those are the words of a dear friend, desu wa.
I suppose I shall throw in about 3,000 yen, desu wa.
145: Count Shakushaku
I understand the sentiment, but that is exactly the sort of thing you are not supposed to say aloud, desu wa ne...... Personally, it hits directly in my strike zone, so whether the retail release is elegant or total excrement, I shall buy it. 50k.
146: Uesugi Kenchin
Speaking of the bedside ghosts during the loading screen, from what I have tested, they continue increasing even after surpassing fifty, fuetemashite yo.
It all depends on future improvements, desu wa ne. I hold high expectations that it will turn into an excrement game in that direction too, therefore, 100k.
147: Takeda Ingen
It seems as though it is eventually going to turn into a mini-live concert, desu no. I will put in about 500k for them, agemasu wa.
Also, 45 points.
148: Sunraku
Your utterly merciless scoring almost brings me to tears, desu wa.
149: Uesugi Kenchin
As an analytical review, I believe awarding you 50 points would be perfectly fair, omoimasu wa yo.
By the way, what exactly are the crowdfunding rewards for this endeavor, nan desu no?
150: Takeda Ingen
There are various tiers, but if you pledge over 100k, you are permitted to be involved in the design of a boss character, kakawaremasu no. However, since the main designer is Yoshimura, you should be fully prepared for it to be filtered through a remarkably heavy layer of gore, desu wa ne.
Author's Afterword
The 3-Psychopath feel less like trash game artisans and more like creators with overwhelmingly strong, toxic eccentricities, desu wa yo.
Among them, Yoshimura and Kichijoji are personally acquainted with Ricchan, desu no.
But the fact that they weren't invited to join the ShanFro development team tells you exactly what that implies, deshite yo.
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