Chapter 559: Pincer Attack Double Bullets

Author's Preface

There are a bunch of reasons why this update is so late, like the Wyvern Gem not dropping or getting continuously curbstomped by Behemoth, but the biggest reason is that after rewriting the text twice, my battery died and deleted the entire thing once.[*1]

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Now for a question: Even if it's mutated into a monstrosity, how exactly are you supposed to punch through the armor of a giant that's constructed from multiple state-of-the-art fighter jets?

The answer is: "I will never forgive you, Yashirobird!"

"Wha—, this is way too hard...!!"

"Launcher Bullets aren't working either...!!"

Maximum firepower didn't work, meaning there's zero intention to let us defeat this thing with frontal assault tactics. Should I load a squirt gun with chili oil and inject it right up his nose? Though honestly, I don't even know that guy's real-life name.

"Information sharing! For now, the front... no, the armored parts can't be pierced. This is probably the type of boss you defeat using a different gimmick."

"U-Umm, if you destroy the parts that used to be the fighter jets' weapons, you can use them for upgrades...!"

I see? That narrows it down to two options.

"Rei-san, which do you prefer: dancing on top of a coffin, or crawling in the dirt fully prepared to be turned into minced meat?"

I threw the question at her using slightly overly dramatic phrasing. Honestly, my face felt a bit red, but it's a game, so you gotta ride the momentum. Besides, if it's Rei-san—a hardcore ShanFro addict—I'm sure she'll───

"Ah......... Fufu, you can draw your card first, Rakuro-kun, if you'd like?"

"...That was actually kinda cool just now."

"Hyeu! T-To drop the act and go back to normal right there is completely unfair!"

Then I'll take you up on that offer.

Without hesitation, I leapt from the bed of the armored vehicle and landed on the deck of the aircraft carrier, which was still continuing its cruise. I couldn't help but think, "Just abandon ship already," but apparently, lore-wise, this is the part where we get surrounded right on the verge of escaping, so we're tearfully forced to run in circles around the carrier deck.

"Well, I figured this would happen..."

SPLAT! A heavy sound echoed from the speakers near my ears, and for a brief moment, my vision was painted completely red. Well, obviously. If you jump out of a car driving at a decent speed, your human body is going to end up rolling up a snowman. But my read was correct; in Saba-Gan, the easiest thing to obtain and the easiest thing to consume never changed from the moment the servers launched to the moment they were shut down.

"Lives are meant to be thrown away...!!"

One stock remaining. That's more than enough!!

Up until a moment ago, Rei-san and I were probably seeing the exact same thing, but my guess is... the game registers the stage differently depending on whether you're on the vehicle bed or on the ground.

After all, Rei-san's object block, which in reality should be close enough for me to touch if I reached out, now looked like it was incredibly far away.

With just enough modesty to barely avoid breaking the game's immersion, a polite line was drawn on the floor essentially saying, "Hey, there's an object block here, so be careful!"... but I have no business over there.

"There's no way you can see its back from on top of the vehicle bed... You can't help but feel something suspicious about that, right?"

"Yes, definitely."

"...Rei-san, visually speaking, you're several dozen meters away from me."

"Ahhh! I'm sorry!"

Let's just pretend we're talking through walkie-talkies.

For now, while being careful not to trip over the physical objects in the real world, I sprinted through the area in the augmented reality world, circling around to get behind the giant fighter-jet monster.

"Fuhfuhfuh... At least throw on a shirt, your weak point is completely exposed...!!"

There's a type of accident called a bird strike. Simply put, it refers to an accident caused by a bird flying straight into an engine, but the important takeaway here is that jet engines are incredibly delicate pieces of machinery. And on this guy's back, there were engines—likely belonging to the fighter jets it had assimilated—sprouting out densely packed together......... It's bonus time.

"Alright, pincer attack time!!"

"........."

Ah, she's actually strictly following the walkie-talkie roleplay rule I mentioned earlier... Whatever, FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!!

I fired consecutively at its weak point. If we defeat it here, the demo play is cleared, so I'm absolutely not thinking about ammo conservation at this point. If it won't break in one or two shots, then I just need to slam a hundred or two hundred shots into it!!

"I could read you like a book the second I saw it was strictly a two-player co-op...!"

If there are two players, there's no need to stick together and fight from the same spot. I have a few complaints about a game design that practically requires one player to sacrifice a life just to set up a pincer attack, but honestly, the fact that the flow of the game actually makes sense is a bit frustrating... Ugh, more importantly, this thing is tanky as hell! Since there are no trash mobs, I can't use gun upgrades or special warheads. I guess the correct answer was to prepare all of that before entering the boss fight... BUT!

"Even with a 3-round burst, I can still fight...!"

Don't underestimate the 3-round burst. You can shoot three bullets at once, you know. That's three times the firepower, three times. The fact that they didn't make it semi-auto or full-auto shows a certain "refined taste," but since numbers are everything in games, it's still garbage... Wait? I was trying to defend it, but I ended up delivering its funeral sermon.

Well, considering I was trying to defend something with garbage specs to begin with, it can't be helped... Oh, an engine broke off.

"Wait, could this........."

I made a grasping gesture with my left hand and pulled......... Ho-ho? So you can pull these into your hand too, huh......... ALRIGHT, DIE, YOU BASTARD!!

"I love this special gimmick!!"

With a satisfying KRAKOOM!! the back of the Garjet Scrad exploded. I see, this definitely requires two people. If there isn't someone drawing its attention from the front, this gimmick won't activate.

Once you figure it out, the rest is in the bag. Chipping away at it with the 3-round burst, ripping off parts, throwing them, ripping off parts, throwing them... And then, the moment arrived.

"Oh."

"Ah..."

The giant Scrad let out a creak like a scream and severely contorted its body. The massive body constructed of metal, due to the forced twisting and the damage accumulated so far, let out a fatal sound of destruction and began to crumble.

"Haaah............. I'm exhausted."

The fact that the debris from destroying the engines casually had a damage hitbox was a real "you son of a bitch" moment, but clearing it felt like a pretty good workout......... Hm?

".........Aaah?"

Collapsing to its knees? Ah, with that posture, it's naturally going to fall flat on its back looking up at the sky... I see, so that has a damage hitbox too, does it, you bastard?

"No, wait, it's possible that since we've already cleared it, it won't affect the score—GUHAA!"

My vision is pitch red! Next time I see that bastard, I'm kicking the back of his knees.

......

.........

............

Clear Rank: A. Yes, that's right, because I completely burned through all my lives, it affected the results. I am so very sorry.

"Congratulations! As a bonus for clearing the demo play, you can draw from the lottery three times!!"

"Did you hear that, Rei-san?"

"W-Wow, First Prize is a one-year free pass to an amusement park... apparently."

A free pass to an amusement park... I-I won't even use that. I highly doubt I'd even go ten times in a whole year. Well, I suppose that's just calculating the pelts of tanuki I haven't even caught yet.

"After you."

"Eh, ah, okay."

At this Mega-Float Site where cutting-edge technology gathers, we're doing a super analog lottery where you actually pull pieces of paper out of a box? That's almost novel at this point. Rustling around, Rei-san pulled out three slips and handed them to the female staff member...

"Eh, no way."

"Eh."

"Eh?"

"Eh, ah, umm... C-Congratulations! First Prize! Third Prize! And Fourth Prizzeee!!"

In complete silence, my eyes met Rei-san's. Perhaps sensing the slightly prickly gaze I was directing at the real-life RNG winner, Rei-san quietly averted her eyes. She pulled way too many good RNG rolls... this person is terrifying... Look, even the staff member is a little creeped out.

A one-year free pass to the amusement park where Scrap Gunman will be installed, a gun-shaped controller compatible with Scrap Gunman, and a stuffed toy of what seemed to be the Swallows Nest mascot—a fat swallow. Receiving all of this, Rei-san awkwardly buried her face into the stuffed toy to hide from the stares of the surrounding crowd.

"Your real-life luck is amazing... Ah, but for the customers waiting in line, please rest assured! There are still four First Prizes left, and we've prepared plenty of Second Prizes and below tooー!"

But the probabilities have dropped, haven't they? Well, it can't be helped. Allow me to show you the jackpot that is the dead-last Seventh Prize...!!

"This one!!"

"This is...!!!"

RNG is a religion, and as someone who has spat in the face of the RNG Gods countless times, I'm absolutely certain I can pull it. I, I alone am the Prince of Trash RNG───!!

"U-Umm, Rakuro-kun........."

"(´-`)"

"Umm, ah, well..."

"^^;"

"Auu........."

Walking alongside Rei-san—who was clutching her fat swallow plushie with an indescribable atmosphere about her—while wearing the Second Prize reward: an emotion-reflecting full-face helmet equipped with a semi-transparent face monitor that converts my expressions into emoticons. I guess she couldn't read my emotions through the face monitor, because as we were walking...

『Hello World! Hello Japan! With love from the Special Stage!』

"Heh?"

"ಠДಠ"

Hold on just a damn second, that voice is.........

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Author's Afterword

【Tragic News】 Romance section complete 【Farewell to the "Love" half of this Rom-Com】

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Translator's Notes

• [1] Wyvern Gem / Behemoth: Referencing drops and bosses from Monster Hunter: World (MHW), continuing the author's note from the previous chapter.