Chapter 493: Also Known As the Fairy Divine Fist

sunk into the ground.

buried in the wall.

stuck in the ceiling.

crashed into a subway.

crashed into a truck.

crushed by a building.

fell into the water.

in rock. [*1]

stepped on a gas station and exploded.

somehow just exploded anyway.

if anything, exploded despite doing absolutely nothing.

I even started to suspect that maybe I had a hidden clumsy trait without realizing it. But now, it's safe to say I've completely adapted to GH:C's systems.

"Impossible... A Perfect Defeat...?"

"You have my thanks... TQC has finally reached completion right here, right now...! Face judgment, Twinky☆"

"Gwaaaaah!!"

The Twinkle☆Wand, used almost exclusively for blunt-force trauma, delivered a fatal strike, sending a ridiculously muscular guy in a full-body spandex suit flying spectacularly. Player Name "Dr. Gateau Chocolat"... The bitter taste of the three defeats you made me swallow... I'm wiping the slate clean with a no-damage straight victory.

"That's a nice finish..."

No, yeah. Opponents might be hoping for me to play CasPri, but that character actually takes a lot of brainpower to use. Despite having the stats of a complete meathead, you have to constantly manage your surrounding environment to make use of him, which gets exhausting... Well, Twinkle Pixie's ultra-close-quarters combat style serves as a good reference, so it's fine. It's totally fine.

"Now then..."

I've been boosting my rating since around noon, so my next match should put me in the highest tier. In these kinds of games, it's pretty common to fall into some occult-like hellish losing streak, but... heh, the me right now wouldn't even lose to Sylvia Goldberg. Actually, I definitely would lose, her specs are completely broken. But that's only assuming I'm not pumped full of energy drinks...

"Oh, got a match."

Hm? Opponent's name... "Katzo Crown"? Isn't that just the jellyfish? Wait, is this... Heeh, hooh, hmmmmm????

No, no, it's not like he has a patent on that name, so there's a miraculous chance it's just someone else trying to sound like him.
Well, in random matches, it's common to exchange greetings as soon as you encounter each other anyway... Oh, found him. What was that character again... It's not Armed Lava or Silver Jumper. What is it...? Whatever, I'll just disguise my voice for now...

"Katzo Crown-san, looking forward to our match~ (Falsetto)"

"Eh? Ah, yeah, looking forward to it."

Ohohohoooooo? We have a confirmed hit, don't we???
Ku, kukukuku... I somehow felt hesitant to use my usual "Sunraku" handle for normal GH:C play, so I threw together the impromptu name "Liquor Steal" [*2]. Who knew it would come in handy in a place like this...!!

The field type is a stump model, huh. It's a type where a circular map expands outward with the Chaos Tower at the center, generally featuring very few straight lines. I think it got added in an update.

"I'm definitely going to mess with him... but what is that character? I've never seen it before. (Falsetto)"

The most likely possibility is DLC—Downloadable Content? The date has already rolled over, so there's a chance it's a character that was implemented today.
From the looks of it, it's the type of character that fights using the dual pistols hanging at their waist. And judging by the expression on Provisional-Katzo-turned-Confirmed-Katzo's face, he really doesn't want to engage in close-quarters combat. I can't rule out the possibility that it's just because he's not used to the character, but if that were the case, he wouldn't be making movements explicitly designed to gain distance.

"A combo fighter that relies on long-range combat and overwhelms with sheer volume of attacks, I'm guessing? (Falsetto)"

"Ah, you don't know him? Yeah, I just updated too, but this 'Dust' is a ranged attacker."

"Wow, thank you so much for being so kind! (Falsetto)"

BMing me, huh? Hilarious. I'm gonna beat the absolute crap out of you!!

"Twinkle Powder☆ (Falsetto)"

"Tch."

The character I'm currently using, Twinkle Pixie, suffers from the massive drawbacks of garbage durability and a short range of less than one meter, but in exchange, it boasts exceptionally high-performance crowd-control and demonic combo sustain.
The startup is slightly slow, which is a bit frustrating, but the restraint skill "Twinkle Powder☆" will unconditionally stun an enemy on contact unless they are actively blocking.
That being said, a fair amount of research has already gone into Twinkle Pixie, and even if he's a fish-bastard, he won't be caught that easily.

"Let me show you... my TQC! (Falsetto)"

"Eh, what the he—whoa!?"

I already anticipated that he would create distance from the mysterious powder (metaphor) scattered in a mist. Fully utilizing Twinkle Pixie's tiny frame and floating properties, I took the absolute shortest path to slip around to his back, then kicked him squarely from behind, launching him right into the mysterious powder.

TQC. Formally known as Fairy Martial Arts (Twinkle Quarter Combat).
A battle style continuously inherited by Twinkle Pixie mains across the country—no, across the entire world—and brought to full bloom right here in Chaos City, utterly dedicated to the pursuit of stunning the opponent and beating them to a pulp! And my TQC is a derivative form that incorporates the Iai-Fist Style.
By integrating the ultimate secrets of the Iai-Fist—which pierces through the gaps in human consciousness—its effective range has been artificially expanded to three meters...!!

"I'll Twinky☆ you until your body's silhouette gets completely warped, you damn jellyfish!"

"Ah!! You bastard, don't tell me you're Sunra—"

"Twinky☆☆☆ (Falsetto)"

"Gwaaaaah!!?"

Wahahahaha, I'm gonna beat you to a pulp!!

...
......

OiKatzo: Hey, Twinkle Bug.

OiKatzo: Hey, come out, you Twinkle Bug.

Sunraku: Twinky☆

OiKatzo: Teach me that TQC thing later.

OiKatzo: Wait, no, that's not it.

Sunraku: Don't casually prioritize your true desires.

OiKatzo: Putting that aside! I sent the pass for You-Gotta to your email, so you should be able to get in with that on the day of the event.

Sunraku: Checked it.

Sunraku: 'No Face-sama', seriously?

OiKatzo: Well, how else was I supposed to register you?

Sunraku: If I show this pass with my bare face, I'll just look like a total idiot.

Sunraku: Are you telling me to wear a mask straight from the train station?

OiKatzo: Says the guy who walked into an izakaya while wearing a cosplay helmet.

Sunraku: You really went there...

Sunraku: Well, I accepted it, so it can't be helped. I'll figure something out.

OiKatzo: It made me realize that masked wrestlers really go through a lot of trouble. Besides, it's not like they're gonna loudly announce '◯◯-sama has arrived!' for everyone to hear, so you don't need to worry about it that much.

Sunraku: Well, I guess you're right.

Sunraku: Actually, there's one thing I want to ask.

OiKatzo: Hm?

Sunraku: It's basically a given that we'll end up playing GH:C, but about that...

......
...

"Now then..."

I've got a little bit of work to do. Looks like the update is finished too... I'm feeling like a Riot Blood: Quantum today. Time to get ravenous like a glutton.

"It's an all-night march."

Only a little bit left until X-Day. I'm going to make this my own...!!

Author's Afterword
Now, the End-of-Century Savior Legend of the fairy with scars on its chest, who inherited the 3000-year history of the Fairy Divine Fist, begins... [*3]

Translator's Notes

• [1] in rock: Wizardry (RPG game) reference.

• [2] Liquor Steal: "Liquor Steal" = Shuto (酒盗), which is a Japanese delicacy made of salted, fermented Bonito (Katsuo) innards.

• [3] Fairy Divine Fist / Savior Legend: A parody of Hokuto no Ken (Fist of the North Star). The "scars on its chest," "3000-year history," and "End-of-Century Savior Legend" are direct references to Kenshiro and the Hokuto Shinken martial art.