Chapter 314: Megaton Bracelet and the Erotic Radish

Author's Preface
By the way, there's apparently an old folk tale about offering a "Bifurcated Radish" to Daikokuten.
I guess people back in the day had the exact same thoughts as we do now. Viva Cool Japan.

"An Active Slipped Disk!!"

The Area Boss of the Divine Age Iron Ruins: the "Ruin Keeper," a machine doll from the distant Divine Age that had allowed deterioration and weathering to fully integrate into its body. Despite the level difference, its very nature and role meant it would never allow anyone to escape.
Its waist snapped completely in half, and the Daruma Golem—which had literally had every single joint in its body broken leading up to this point—finally shattered into pieces.

A "Moss-Covered Armor Plate" dropped as loot, but honestly, Crystal Scorpion materials are probably far more durable anyway. Even if I pick it up, is there any actual use for it... Well, I guess this is just what going back to early areas as a high-level player feels like. Still gonna pick it up, though. I have unlimited inventory space, so obviously I'm gonna take it.

"Alright then... let's get going."

This place was ultimately just a transit point for my true goal. My destination is the Sea of Clouds in the High Heavens!

...But before that, there's something I'm a bit curious about, so let's head back once.

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While stepping into the location of the sixth town, Sixenveldt—which lies just beyond the Divine Age Iron Ruins—I used a Magic Scroll to teleport back to Rabituza. There, I grabbed Emul, who was munching away on a carrot pie (not an apple pie) with a gajigaji, placed her on my head, and teleported directly onto the New Continent Pioneer Ship currently sailing across the ocean.
This fast travel that completely ignores the laws of physics... you can only experience this kind of thing in a game.

"Are you staying as Sunra-ko-san today, desu wa?"

"Well, I went straight to clearing the Divine Age Iron Ruins after taking that detour, so..."

I could just casually throw myself off the ship, but since there are other players on board, this form might actually be better for walking around inside.
The New Continent Pioneer Ship is a fantasy luxury cruise liner completed by mixing medieval civilization with magic and a slight touch of Ancient Technology (Science) acting as its power source.

Given its role, it's equipped with a certain degree of armament. However, since it's meant to pack a massive number of players like sardines for several days, it apparently also has simple shops set up inside.
By the way, thanks to the backing of the Tri-Divinity I received by accepting the Saint's request, my cabin is roughly one tier below a suite. Looking down on the commoners while sipping on some exquisite wine is the absolute best. Even though it's basically just slightly bitter grape juice, so getting drunk is entirely out of the question anyway.

"Map, map, let's see............"

The onboard cafe "Serpent's Apple"... yep, it's there. Just as I thought!

"I'll raid that place later. For now, let's head out to the deck."

A boat trip lasting several days is basically the equivalent of being trapped in a can. Plus, due to various circumstances, close players might end up being assigned to completely different ships.
Just because you're in the same clan doesn't mean you'll be put on the same ship. If anything, how you managed to get on the ship is what matters most. That's why me, Akitsu Akane, the Rust/Mold duo, and Rei-shi all ended up on different ships.

So, does that mean you absolutely cannot communicate while logged in during the voyage? The answer is no.
To ensure I didn't accidentally detonate my clothes in the middle of a crowded deck, I equipped some cheap gear, adjusted the timer, and asked an NPC crew member to lend me two seagulls... or at least, birds that looked like seagulls.

"Nbyah!? Stop pecking me, desu wa...! Ow, owowowow!?"

"Stop it, stop it! I'll give you some Ruluiath fish later, so just be good."

"「Pweh pweh.」"

...Seagulls? The falcons that chirped like baby chicks were one thing, but did the people who made this game just think, "Let's just give them a different cry from reality and call it a day"...?
Well whatever. The destinations are Rei-shi and Akitsu Akane... There we go. I'm excluding Rust and Mold because it feels like they're just gonna be playing Nephilim Hollow non-stop during the voyage.

"Check the map of your ships and see if there's a cafe called 'Serpent's Apple'............ Alright, go! If you come back safely, I'll give you a Deep-Sea Sea Bream (MP Recovery Item)!"

"「Pweh!」"

Honestly, those Sea Breams were a massive pain to eat... The width, you know? You basically have to devour them wildly like a Kappa or a Merman. For slim fish, on the other hand, you can just cleanly swallow them whole... Ah, the nostalgic Deserted Island Dining Technique. Where forgetting proper aftercare leads directly into food poisoning as part of the natural flow.
Boars and owls can munch on castaways while dancing around completely fine, yet a Human (Player) will wander the border of life and death just from eating a single mushroom. This game really does an excellent job of making you realize the wild instincts humanity discarded during the evolutionary process... Uwaah, there's a giant octopus on the deck.

"Uwaaaaaaah!!"

"O-Our leader got eaten by an octopus!?"

"This is tentacle play, but it's not erotic in the slightest!"

"F-For now, Tanks to the front!!"

Whether it was some kind of gameplay consideration or the effect of a specific item, the player who had been dangling a fishing line off the deck was dragged into the ocean, and a massive octopus leapt onto the deck in their place.
While the surrounding area descended into chaos, I casually killed time by executing a "Noble woman gazing at the horizon with sorrowful eyes" movement.

I mean, that octopus is explicitly reacting to me... or rather, my "Scar," and adjusting its positioning based on it. Learn from Ctarrnid, you stupid octopus.

"Oh, they're back... Ahー, you're the one with the slightly mean look in your eyes, so you're the one I sent to Rei-shi, right?"

"Pweh."

Good boy, good boy. Here, I'll give you this Sea Bream whose eyeballs are popping out weirdly due to water pressure or whatever. Now then, what's the content of the reply... Fumu, I see. Oh, the one I sent to Akitsu Akane is back too.
Since both of them can use fast travel just like me, I had considered the possibility that they wouldn't reply immediately, but I suppose normally, returning to the Old Continent right away is the rarer option.

"Fufufu... what adorable creatures."

"「Pweh Pweh.」"

"Mumumumu...!"

The two seagulls? resting on my extended arm are going "Pweh Pweh," and the rabbit that somehow migrated onto my head is going "Puh Puh"... Should I start making some kind of animal noise too?

"Tekesu, tekesu, tekesu, tekesu, tekesu, tekesu..."

"Wh-What is that indescribable sound, desu wa..."

"The warning call of a mysterious lifeform that can only be described as a humanoid slime with a massive amount of tentacles sprouting from its face."

This is one of the proudest party tricks in Rakuro Hizutome's arsenal, you know. The only bottleneck is that almost nobody actually gets the reference.
By the way, the original Loli-voiced Space Monster wriggles the tentacles on its face wildly while making this warning call.

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According to the testimonies from Rei-shi, who is aboard the Belihemoth, and Akitsu Akane, who is aboard the Leviathann, the cafe in question only exists on the Zizzzz.
Furthermore, reading between the lines of what the Saint told me, it seems that People (NPCs) of high status are specifically separated and assigned to board the Zizzzz.

And if you factor in the presence of the Boss—who clearly possesses some kind of social standing—it's easy to guess the reason why the "Serpent's Apple" only exists on the Zizzzz.

"Alright then, let's go say hello to my recommender."

I have absolutely no intention of revealing what exactly a Bounty Hunter is doing vacationing on a ship heading to the New Continent, but I'll sure as hell figure it out for myself...!

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"............" ← Familiar leg armor belonging to a person whose upper body was stuck inside the entrance of a sub-floor storage compartment, leaving only their lower half sprouting out of the floor.

"............"

When I silently directed a questioning gaze—holding onto a single thread of hope—toward the Master of the cafe "Serpent's Apple"... a man who looked exactly like a slightly younger version of the original "Serpent's Apple" Master, making the clone theory impossible to dismiss—he simply smiled wryly and shook his head.

"............"

Pashiin!

"!?!!?" ← When the legs tried to move to counterattack the sudden strike, they lost their balance, flailed wildly, and ended up stuck in a perfect handstand position.

"............"

Feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness wash over me, I slapped the ass of provisional-Lutia, took a screenshot, and immediately left the area. I came here to talk to a Bounty Hunter. I have absolutely no business with an erotic radish sprouting out of the floor.

"How the hell do you even end up like that..."

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I feel like Don Quixote the moment he realized the enemy he had determined to fight was actually just a windmill. I became so sad that I just sent the screenshot of the erotic radish Lutia to Survival.

"I am currently wrapped in a profound sadness, Rocinante..."

"Who is that, desu wa?"

"A donkey."

"I am a Vorpal Bunny, desu waー!"

Yes, yes, desu wa, desu wa. Putting that aside, let's overcome this sadness and return to the main topic.
If you put things like this off, you'll just end up dragging them out forever. Doing grinding tasks after hitting the level cap is efficient, sure, but it also increases the sheer mental agony of the grind... Planned enhancements are an absolute requirement for 100% completion!

Now then, let's go! To the Sea of Clouds in the High Heavens!

Author's Afterword
Lutia: "If you equip training accessories, you'll fall right into the sub-floor storage compartment ahead."
Lutia: "That is why it was necessary to unequip them. (Removes accessories)"
(Sound of her losing her balance because she was wearing two of them and falling headfirst into the sub-floor storage).

Who the hell turned the mysterious female hunter into a clumsy erotic radish? (Averts eyes).

• Bounty Hunter Lutia
  Both in terms of implementation order and lore, she is a veteran female Bounty Hunter. She is tuned to the absolute limit of what a human can physically replicate, resulting in an infuriating balance where "It feels like you can definitely win, but you just can't."
  In reality, the combo of "Mach" and "Three-Strike Six-Slash Cruelty" is so demonically overpowered that it's practically impossible to win based purely on player skill. Even if a player somehow steps into the same realm of "Mach," the controls are far more difficult than managing the Overflow state.
  Eh, what happens if you try to use both at the same time? You'd probably just end up as a stain on the wall.

Also, rumor has it that she occasionally makes unbelievably clumsy mistakes in her private life.