Chapter 853: The Day Itself: Ready → Steady

Author's Preface

Naturally! An "Update"!! An "Update" consecutively following the last chapter! That is my style!!

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The Next Day

"It's the usual for me, but my lifestyle rhythm is completely wrecked........."

Setting aside the New Year holidays, if I don't fix my lifestyle rhythm by the time the single-digit days of January are over, it's gonna get real bad.

Sleeping soundly through the day, doing some light stretching, and taking in some nutrients. Having adjusted my active hours so that I hit my peak time heading from 5:00 PM on December 20th toward midnight... I log into ShanFro and sluggishly get out of bed at the Eighthold inn.

To begin with, my main objective right now is to pay a "return visit" to that bastard who's apparently launching an all-out attack double-booked with the massive real-world event known as Christmas. Because of that, I originally had no need to come to the Old Continent......... but I am still technically affiliated with a clan, and as long as Wolfgang is involved in the Kingdom Turmoil, I couldn't just keep ignoring it forever.

Having been slapped with a half-threatening draft order from Pencilgon, that schemer forced a certain mission onto me.

"Stand out as much as possible for the last six hours of the final day......... right."

At first glance, it looks like she's saying, "At least work flashily at the very end to make up for slacking off," but I was only told this just the other day. Rather than telling me to come out immediately on the spot, she specifically designated the time frame of the final day's last six hours......... This MO gives me a certain sense of déjà vu.

Well, whatever, it's convenient for me in its own way too. The one leading the opposing faction is some massively popular streamer, right? If I can reel them in, it'd be a huge win.........

Thinking about that, I pass through the back alleys and enter the branch of the Serpent's Apple in this city. I offer a light wave in greeting to the owner, who has the exact same copy-pasted face as always, and head toward a table in the corner of the store.

"Did I keep you waiting?"

"Nope, I just got here~"

"If you wanted to pretend that, you should've had them clear the table first."

Judging by the empty plates lined up on the table, it was obviously a lie. Even so, since I'm having this person cooperate full-time this time around, I can't treat her that harshly for once.

"Anyway, well, once again......... I appreciate you cooperating with me this time. Imron......... and Deep Slaughter."

"Well, I ain't exactly doing this as a volunteer either, so I don't mind. The prep work was......... well, it was rough enough that if I didn't get at least one 'thank you,' I'd have probably snapped."

"Nfufu......... You've already become a body that can't live without me, haven't you, Sunraku-kuuuun......... You've been dyed in my colors......... all the way deep inside........."

Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down. No matter how much this (referring to the person) is that (referring to mental abnormality), I have to endure it just this once. It's too early to draw Areadbhair. While turning my gaze toward Imron—who is sitting deep in the backrest and inexplicably holding a beer mug the entire time, presumably as part of her gruff old man roleplay—and the squirming Deep Slaughter......... I also turn my gaze toward the person who wasn't included in the original plan.

"So, why did you tag along? Elysion."

"Oh, I'm not here to do anything in particular, but I wanted to gather combat data on 'Eternity'."

I see, so you're in the "doesn't matter if you're here or not" slot. That said, I'll be field-testing that maid outfit to the point of boredom from now on, so you probably figured it'd be better to watch it in action than just hear the results.

"In that case, Sunraku, make sure you... I mean, make sure ya properly use Tradition & Revolution that I made, too."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Are you going to use me too?"

Yeah, yeah. Seriously, should I just send this one flying... No, endure, endure, endure. Oops, my finger slipped and I pulled Areadbhair out of the Inventoria.

"With Elysion here just to observe... Today is the final day of the Kingdom Turmoil event. For six straight hours until the event ends at midnight on the 21st, we are going to... blockade the Canyon of the Ancient Souls."

At my words, Imron and Deep Slaughter, who had already been briefed on the plan, show no particular reaction, but Elysion, who tagged along completely unrelated to the plan, blatantly displays a question mark over his head.

"Is that... really a realistic idea? It is true that the Canyon of Ancient Souls is a simple, straight-path map, but......... it's wide, you know?"

"Well, yeah."

The Canyon of the Ancient Souls is certainly a terrifyingly simple map compared to other areas. After all, it's an honest-to-a-fault straight line... Normally, it's an area where you take DoT from miasma while having to deal with excessively stubborn undead monsters that spot you immediately precisely because the map is so simple. (There's no point in even discussing the top of the cliffs; you'd have a much higher clear rate sprinting half-naked along the bottom.)

However, during this event, boss monsters do not spawn. That means the source generating the miasma in this area (strictly speaking, I think it was that Humming Lich that made the miasma harmful to living creatures) isn't spawning either. Meaning, for the time being, it's just a harmless fog that makes visibility slightly dim.

No, that stuff doesn't matter. The only important point is this: the width of the straight path at the bottom of the Canyon of Ancient Souls is not narrow enough to be blocked by just one or two people spreading their arms. Physically blockading this place is......... well, not very realistic. Even if we tried, it's not something you do with two or three people. You'd need to gather five people with jobs like President or Master Builder who've been constructing all sorts of things on the New Continent, plus a material procurement squad of about twenty people backing them up, just to maybe pull off a six-hour blockade... No, even then, it sounds tough. The breakthrough power of players is insane, and guys who can fly aren't even rare anymore.

"It's fine. We're physically blocking it, but we aren't physically blocking it."

"It seems you have a secret plan, but......... I'm starting to get curious as to exactly how you intend to resolve that contradiction."

Elysion glances over at Deep Slaughter and Imron. He probably realized that at the very least, the three of us—me, DeepSlo, and Imron—intended to pull it off.

Or maybe cause a mudslide with DeepSlo's magic? Or is Imron going to stay rooted in place, firing off weapons and cutting everyone down with semi-permanent weapon resources?

Both wrong. The correct answer is surprisingly simple......... and lies far removed from warfare.

"It's not that complicated............ For example, what if an idol suddenly started a guerrilla live concert? For example, what if there was a guy standing in the middle of nowhere with a sign saying 'Defeat me and receive a luxurious prize'? For example... what if a massive crowd of people spread out across the entire road?"

With my words, Elysion seems to have gained a general understanding of what we intend to do.

...The final day of an event is the peak of stagnation, where only the slackers trying to catch up or the hardcore try-hards actually run it seriously. At a timing where even logging in feels a bit bothersome, what if everything I just mentioned happened in a single location?

"War is a terrible thing, but having said that, humans absolutely love beating the crap out of each other and watching others do it. If that's the case, we just have to throw one: a fist-fighting festival."

Now, let's get going. Today, starting at 18:00, is a brawl festival hosted by Tsuchinoko-san in the Canyon of the Ancient Souls. There's no prior announcement, so listen for the festival music and gather at the venue. Our special guest is the trending super Idol Doll of the moment.

I lightly slap both my cheeks, shaking off the considerable amount of embarrassment and hassle lingering in my heart regarding what I'm about to do.

"Alright, let's go."

"I want to come too! Spanking, hey come ooon!!"

Ignition.

"Alright DeepSlo, I'm going to swing this down slowly, so do a shirahadori."

"But it's burning pipiing hooot, you know?"

"Just do it. Come on, shirahadori — catch!"

"My hands are burningggg! W-wait, Sunraku-kuuuun, aren't you seriously pushing it down!? I can't win in STR, so my face is gonna get split right in haaaalf! I'm gonna be branded with an unerasable scar by your hot, magnificent thiiiing!"

If the owner hadn't stopped us by saying, "Please refrain from perverted behavior," I could've split that smirking face half-and-half.........

Author's Afterword

O Heroes, well met!

The stars and constellations are full — it is time for the festival!

The fastest player of the Second Humanity, the pervert Sunraku, is now waiting for you all.

O Heroes, fight! Bury your great foes with honor, and grasp the PrizesHiiiin in your hands!

Now, let the Battle Festival commence! It's the Tsuchinoko Festival!