Chapter 739: Mix the Unmixable, and Mix In

Author's Preface

They gave me such unbelievable marketing that I worked hard to write this up.

---

It's no use, the conversation isn't going anywhere.

At this point, this place itself has become a natural enemy to the concept of taking things seriously. To begin with, since this group gathered purely to play dress-up with Loli SenseiTias and Split-Radish SenpaiLutia, the moment Loli Sensei descended upon us, this group of idiots became even bigger idiots.

Furthermore, since I went and pulled the "Loli Sensei's disciple" move, there's absolutely zero room for seriousness left. How is it that Wimp, who hasn't said a single unnecessary thing, is the only one maintaining her initial impression? Well, I might be playing the role of Loli Sensei's errand boy, but if Sensei got serious, she could kill everyone here faster than anyone else, so it's a safe bet.

"Now then............ I need to log out soon myself, so before I do, let me ask a quick question. You two serpents over there!"

"!!"

"Wh-what is iT."

The gloomy-looking Goldunine and the arrogant-looking Goldunine turn their gazes toward me. Anxiety, suspicion, hostility... yep, they are wonderfully on guard.

"Will you turn hostile, or will you cooperate? If you just stand around like that, eventually you'll just be eradicated by that lookalike accompanied by the Nagas. Me and Wimp have no intention of just standing here and getting killed, but we'd also like to be spared from getting stabbed in the back."

Bakumatsu? Over there, turning your back is the one at fault, so......... When the perpetrator acts all high and mighty and pushes the responsibility onto the victim, looking at it from a third-party perspective, the community is truly trash-tier, but once you adapt to itget used to it, it's genuinely so much fun.........

"So decide right here. Will you turn hostile towards me, or will you join hands with Wimp......... The time limit is fifteen seconds."

"That's so short!!"

Whether it's one second or one year, looking back from the future, it's all the same fleeting moment, Coffee Milk-chan.

Come on, hurry up, hurry up. If Loli Sensei had fifteen seconds, she'd empty a whole plate. Theoretically, if she uses Transcendent Speed, between the ferocious rate of starvation and her transcendent speed-eating, she can apparently eat forever... I kind of want to see it, but the Master asked me not to because it would drain this cafe's entire food stock, so it can't be helped.

"Umm, umm... What do you want to do, Nine-chan?"

"What am i sUpposed to dO......... fine! all riGht i Get it, wE wOn't fIght! iS thAt gOod enouGh, Ougasei!"

Because she's a Goldunine, her name is Nine-chan? That's a good name, at least it's much, much better than WimpCowardly Woman.

"Alright, time is a wild boar that always charges forward at a constant speed; fifteen seconds have passed."

"............"

"Ojou-sama........."

Ojou-sama. Sounds like a rather perverse relationship you guys have... Wait, between the whip and the heel, is that what this is? Eh, can that kind of relationship really be established in this game? There are elementary schoolers playing, you know!?

While my evaluation of Shiyu-shi started twisting in a very strange direction, the Goldunine called Ojou-sama glared suspiciously at me and Wimp.

"And who iS going to guaRanTee thAt you woN't betray us, hMm?"

"Heh, so you are trying to believe, huh."

"!!"

"You're misunderstanding something, Ojou-san. I'm not asking for trust. What I want is credit."

I'm not asking for a two-way bond. Depending on how things go, there's even a possibility we might end up killing each other until only one remains, regardless of whether we defeat that Goldunine or not. What I want is the assurance that, since we won't turn hostile, you guys won't stab us in the back either.

"That Goldunine is an immensely powerful entity. As for you two players... from the looks of it, it seems you haven't encountered it yet."

"Sun, Sunraku, san! Um, what exactly is 'that Goldunine'?"

"Hmm, you know what a Maglev bullet train is?"

"I know! That's common sense!"

"There's a boss-character-like Goldunine who travels with four snakes that are a bit bigger than that, and on top of that, she absolutely hates humans."

She seemed to hate things other than humans too, but at the very least, she's not the kind of soft target you can talk to and get along with like Wimp or Nine-chan over there. Even if she did listen to us talk, she'd probably only hear it as the screams of the dying rather than an actual language.

"So let's cooperate... no, even if we don't cooperate, let's at least agree not to turn hostile against each other; that's what I'm saying."

"Ohh... Nine-chan, did you know that?"

"oBviOusly......... wE aLl fled fRom tHat thiNg."

That thing is definitely impossible... I suspect the main body has normal super armor, and since her poison attacks have genuinely garbage-tier performance, taking a direct hit would slow down even someone with Rei-shi's level of robustness. If we're going to fightkill it, we'll need perfect equipment and a perfect environment; she's definitely not the kind of opponent you can challenge while dealing with internal infighting.

"Now then, let's hear your answer."

".........vEry wEll. if you do Not attAck uS, then we sHall nOt attAck eIther."

Perfect negotiation... My genius negotiation sense has been proven yet again... I somewhat feel like half of it was a threat, but if I don't keep it at least half-threatening, the disguise of our absolute coward would be ripped right off.

"Just to ask, is it strictly non-aggression? Or the cooperation route?"

"......HAH."

Oh my, I just got scoffed at. You wanna go, punk? If you think inflicting harm through physical strength is the only kind of violence, you are sorely mistaken.

"Survival, go."

"Hey brother... if you're in a non-aggression pact with Sunraku, that practically makes us brothers."

".........Huh? Um, wait, what exactly does that mean..."

It seems by forming a brotherlyBrother relationship with Shiyu-shi, he's aiming to get closer to a new albino-reptilian-element beautiful girl. Though I kinda feel like his first impression was so incoherent that his scheme collapsed on the very first move.

Look here, Ojou-san, the most terrifying thing in this place isn't me, Wimp, or even Loli Sensei. Wallow in the oozing creepiness of the Dress-Up Squad who have turned into fetish zombies... you're a snake, after all...!!

"If you're brothers with Saba-san, then practically speaking, that makes us brothers too..."

"Let's become a family..."

"In other words, we are all Ojou-sama's servants..."

"So that whip really means that, huh? I'm taking off my clothes."

"I already took mine off."

Going full throttle right from the early morning, huh? These guys are beyond saving.

"S-stAy awaY from me! what iS wroNg with these gUys!? kuh...... gEt awAy!!"

"Thank you so much!! Thank you so much!!"

"aRe yOu the sAme as shIyu tOo!?"

""Eh?""

And so, side-eyeing Ojou-sama and Shiyu-shi getting entangled with the fetish zombies I unleashed purely out of spite, I... eh, wait, what did she just say?

"...No, let's just pretend I didn't hear that."

Unless it's an idiot like a certain pervert who voluntarily comes out of the closet on their own, and as long as there's no actual harm being done, it's best to leave other people's fetishes alone. Offering a moment of silence for Shiyu-shi, whose fetish was just exposed by an NPC, I proceed with preparations to log out.

"Hey Wimp."

"what is it."

I lower my voice, warning her so the other Goldunines can't hear.

"I'll leave Saina with you, but just in case, watch your back for a while."

"u..."

"Got it? Don't stray far from Sammy-chan-san, okay? Don't wander outside on your own, and don't follow strangers."

"what do you think i am!"

"I should be asking you what you think you are, but at the very least, don't blow your cover. If they ask you why you're working here, just stay silent and grin."

Isn't the difficulty level randomly higher for me in a completely different direction? Wimp's level should be fairly high too, yet the only one actually getting stronger is Sammy-chan-san...

---

◇

"I have to go to school soon, too."

For Augusta, these past ten-plus minutes were a dreamlike, sudden encounter.

Meeting a famous person, progressing the Unique Scenario EX she had kept secret even from her classmates. And above all, by offering cooperation instead of just non-aggression, Augusta and her partner managed to become friends with that Maximum Speed.

"What should I do... Maybe I'll just go ahead and brag about it."

To the annoying boy who brags about his older brother being a frontline player, and to the girls who secretly laugh at Augusta for using a giant man's avatar. Augusta was caught between the desire to finally get back at both of them and the desire to keep it a secret... And Nine stared at her with a slightly disgusted look.

"Ummー......"

"Eh?"

"Do you have a second?"

Then, a voice belonging to neither Augusta nor Nine was explicitly directed at Augusta. Turning around, she saw empty air, but looking down slightly, a single female player was looking up at Augusta somewhat timidly.

"...Who?"

"That girl... she's a Goldunine-chan... right? Right?"

"!!!"

"Ah, wait, wait! I'm not going to attack you or anything like that! Trust me! Really!"

The NPC known as Nine was cautious. Therefore, knowing that "Goldunines" exactly like herself were present at this frontline base, she had kept her hood pulled deep over her eyes the moment she stepped out of the cafe.

Yet despite that, the green-haired woman below her, looking up with a somewhat fawning gaze, had completely seen through Nine's true identity. Naturally, there was no way Nine would show a welcoming attitude to such an opponent; towards Nine, who openly bared her wariness, the woman excessively appealed that she harbored no hostility.

"Actually, you know? I have a 'Goldunine' friend too, see?"

"You do too?"

"Yup, but I juuuuust can't really go into that shop right now..."

───So, I wanted to become friends with you first.

Grinning broadly, the woman pointed at the space above her own head while introducing herself to Augusta.

"I'm Hiiragi...... Nice to meet you, okay?"

---

Author's Afterword

Evil.

Also, as a small trivia note, the "top player older brother" that Augusta's classmate brags about is Ribe-something-or-other.