Chapter 661: In the End, What Is Lacking the Most
Author's Preface
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, collecting meat as we go.
I honestly didn't expect Saina to try and save people, and since the scorpions' attack patterns were much nastier than I anticipated, I was momentarily struck with a chill of dread... but let me just pat myself on the back and say "as expected of me." Thanks to a super 'more-haste-less-speed' attack utilizing Multiple Circular Motion, I somehow made it in time. If Saina got destroyed here, rather than raising her affection, it could've easily resulted in a total reset leading straight to negative points.
"Mas, ter........."
"It would have been absolutely perfect if you could have shed even a single tear... but wait, do you even have a function to cry?"
"Demand: Explanation. Contractor intentionally did not perform retrieval."
Now, now, don't get so mad. Think of it as a combo move combining a surprise with a joke.
"Well, I won't deny it. But thanks to that, you were able to realize it down to your very core, weren't you?"
"............"
Eh, seriously? I cornered you that hard and you still haven't realized it? Or are you just waiting for me to teach you? Fine, whatever. If you want me to spell it out for you, then I'll be more than happy to give you a lesson.
"As a great predecessor once said! Tools do not fear death, nor do they feel relief at surviving!!"
There might be tools that try to avoid death if they consider it a 'loss', but there is no tool in existence that feels 'relief' even while recognizing its own preservation. And let's be real, if the outer shell is a beautiful girl, eighty percent of Japanese people aren't going to consider this thing a tool anyway!!
"You feared death. I have no idea how many Elma models are operational right now, but it's not like you're the absolute last one. In other words, you can be replaced as many times as necessary... but you rejected the idea of being shattered. And looking at your face right now, it's obvious... you're feeling relieved that you're alive!!"
"That is,"
"The desire to live, the instinct to fear death. From beasts and livestock all the way up to humans, it is something naturally possessed by every single intelligent lifeform that has the intelligence to contemplate it and the ego to support it... To phrase it in a way that resonates with your heart: if you possess this, then that makes you an intelligent lifeform. You are not a tool meant to be used and thrown away."
"..............."
I don't want to die, I still want to live. That ugly scream contains everything it means to be a living creature. If you can scream that, it doesn't matter if the materials composing your body are made of iron or calcium. Hell, considering a certain spirit made entirely of magic energy is perfectly enjoying her life while being treated as an optional part for a sword, Saina is just overthinking her own worries.
"Did you know that Crystal Scorpions ignore 'objects'?"
"That is information I am recognizing for the first time."
"They will annihilate their 'enemies', but if a sword that slaughtered a hundred of their brethren is just sticking out of the ground nearby, they'll completely ignore it... because it's not an enemy. But what about you? Those scorpions earlier were undoubtedly moving to crush you. And that wasn't because you were a tool left on the ground; it was because you thought for yourself and moved on your own, causing them to recognize you as an 'enemy'."
"As an enemy..."
"Though what surprised me the most was that you helped those players... err, pioneers. Don't play dumb with me, no matter how you look at it, that was your own independent decision."
"That was... because I determined that the Contractor would do the same..."
"Eh............... Nah, I'd absolutely, undoubtedly, and without a shadow of a doubt abandon them. Yep."
"........................Correction: Contractor's personality data."
I mean, obviously I wouldn't help them. I might see them off with a smile and chant a Buddhist prayer for them, but why the hell should I have to look after strangers who aren't even part of a pickup group with me? Even Emul would do the exact same thing; I can clearly picture her standing on top of my head saying something like, "This too is the rules of nature, desu wa~".
"...Well, what I would do doesn't matter. The important thing is that helping them was undeniably your own decision, driven by your own thought to 'imitate me', right?"
".........You have a point."
"You say that, but your face still looks like you're not convinced."
"Affirmation. This unit still cannot hold certainty in the identity of the existence known as this unit."
In a silence so profound it felt as though even the Crystal Scorpions had fallen quiet just to listen to Saina's cries, only Saina's voice echoed.
"The Elma model is ultimately nothing more than a reproduction of the past personality of Elma Sakishima..."
"Are you underestimating the personality of a baby that isn't even a year old?"
"The Conquista Dolls are, in the end, nothing more than pawns for the Reconquista Project!"
"Hello there, I'm a reusable sacrificial pawn from Project Number Two."
"Even if this unit ceases functioning here, another new Elma model will simply be activated!!"
"Cut the crap! I don't care if tens of thousands of Elma models roll out after this, Unit 317 is the only one of its kind in this entire world!!"
It all boils down to this. No matter how many pathetic excuses she piles up about being a mass-produced product or being replaceable, every single one of them can be completely dismantled by the absolute, undeniable fact that "there is only one Elma=317 in this world". No matter how many updated Elma models are produced in the future, the only Elma model that captured Wimp and got shot down is her. The only Elma model that coincidentally encountered me there and formed a contract is Unit 317.
But that's not even the most important part. The real reason behind her idiotically depressed face lies elsewhere. In a way, it's the simplest reason of all...!!
"Listen up, you defective doll. Since we're at it, I'll state this clearly for you, so put your audio sensors on maximum output and listen."
Thwack! I flicked Saina right on the forehead, then took a deep breath.
"───You're just terrified that your creator is going to say horrible things to you."
".........Just, terrified?"
"You're probably thinking that if we go into that lab, he's going to say something like, 'In the end, Conquista Dolls are nothing more than tools~'. You know what they call that kind of thing? They call it paranoia."
Sure, it would definitely be a shock if your parent told you, "I wish I'd never created you." But even so, if you have to keep moving forward, there's only one thing left to do.
"What you lack more than anything else is courage."
"Courage:"
"That's right. You don't need to 'accept the facts'. But honestly, why should we, the ones living in the present, allow ourselves to be jerked around by the words of a dead man?"
You might use the words of retired veteran players as a reference, but there's no need to religiously adhere to them. A game only has value if you play it the way you want to, right? This is the exact same thing. This cowardly intelligence is excessively terrified that Andrew Jitterdoll might only view the Conquista Dolls as tools, but so what?
No matter what he says, it ultimately just boils down to, 'Don't let a guy whose common sense stopped thousands of years ago try to dictate what a Conquista Doll of the present is.' Ah, but I suppose if he has some nice, comforting things to say, it wouldn't hurt to carve them into your heart.
"Question: Then what should I do?"
"Like I give a shit, idiot. That's all."
"............Huh?"
"Ego, identity, intelligence. You can call it whatever you want, but those aren't things decided by the evaluations of others. No matter who degrades you or how much they do it, it's just somebody else's business. Just brush it off with, 'Shut up, like I give a shit about your evaluation, idiot.'"
Truth be told, it's not like I don't understand Saina's worries. I've had similar experiences myself, mostly related to trash games.
Humans are strange creatures. Sometimes, a guy who starts out giving a well-intentioned warning like, "This game is a trash game in these specific ways, so I don't recommend buying it," will somehow have his thoughts twist over time into something like, "Anyone who buys this game is out of their mind, so it's okay to make fun of them." To that, I can only say, 'Like I give a shit, idiot.'
No matter how anyone else evaluates it, I buy trash games because I want to play them. I've actually had people tell me, "I can't comprehend the sanity of someone who buys a game like this," but I'm not playing games to get a stamp of approval on my sanity from you, idiot!! Well, even then, if they say that after actually playing it, it's still somewhat acceptable. But in the worst cases, there are people out there who will casually judge a game purely based on hearsay... If you can only evaluate a game based on numbers and text from shopping sites, then you should just spend the rest of your life writing book reports and playing Sudoku.
Ooh, some pitch-black flames are driving me right now. Negative motivation sometimes produces a much stronger firepower than positive motivation. If I chuck both of them into the furnace at the same time, wouldn't that make me the strongest?
"What you need more than anything else isn't the strength to accept the facts. It's the courage to pin those facts down and trample them into the dirt, even if they're thrown right in your face."
And that is exactly why this is your graduation exam.
"Who cares if it's the 'Golden Age'? If you can't even blow away the king of the scorpions with one hand tied behind your back, a rebellious phase is just a pipe dream."
Let's go completely rogue, Saina. Rebelling against your parents and pushing back against the world is a lot of fun, you know?
...Even if the aftermath is terrifying, though.
Author's Afterword
A brave robot once taught me that if you have courage, you can do anything.
Comments
Post a Comment