Chapter 659: Cat Extermination, It's Extremely Drafty
Author's Preface
Whether you understand this reference or not completely gives away your age, doesn't it?
I'm just a kindergartenew, so I don't get it at all!! [*1]
"Ah!! Could you possibly be Tsuchinoko-san!!?"
"Hmm? Uh... this is our first time meeting, right?"
"You're going to challenge the Crystal Nest Cliff right now, aren't you!? Is it okay if we tag along!?"
"We won't get in your way, so it's fine, right?"
"Ah... A tank, a tank, a magic class, a healer........."
"Is there a problem?"
"Okay, imagine you have a tree branch right here, the kind that snaps really easily, got it? Now, imagine there's a slightly sturdier tree branch standing in front of it to protect it."
"?"
"So here's the question: a dump truck is about to ram right into both of those tree branches at full speed. What's going to happen?"
"They break?"
"Or rather, get crushed?"
"Both are correct. And if you replace the tree branches in this question with 'Backline' and 'Tank', it's even easier to understand, right?"
"Eh..."
"This is an issue long before we even talk about partying up or not. Having a tank is impossible. Even if heaven and earth flip upside down, bringing a tank is impossible."
"...B-But, Tsuchinoko-san, you don't look like you have any durability, yet you clear it normally, right?"
"I dodge everything through sheer guts and willpower. In this area, mid-air jumps, 'perfect' aggro drops, and having enough AGI and DEX to sprint at top speed and gather materials at top speed are mandatory skills. If you're seriously going to challenge this place... let's see, you'd need to either be a Ninja at bare minimum, or possess some means of flight."
"Eeehh..."
"You, the magic class. Can you fly?"
"Does this game even have flight magic?"
"Well, I don't know, but if you can't fly, it's impossible. Actually, let me ask you: how did you think I was clearing it?"
"E-Erm... I thought there might be, like, some way to pacify them? Otherwise, going in solo and hunting them like crazy would be impossible, right?"
"Ah... so that's the misunderstanding you guys had. I haven't actually hunted anywhere near as many as you think."
"Eh?"
"Those things just charge right at you without giving a damn about the damage they take, so their bodies end up shattering from colliding with other scorpions, dropping materials in the process."
"So that means..."
"Dodge them through sheer guts, pick up the loot... and then, well, die and bail out."
"............"
◆
I'm so glad I was able to save those four from becoming potential casualties. Tanks are impossible here, just impossible. Even Josette would find it impossible when it comes to this specific area. The rushing charge of massive mass can honestly be called the natural enemy of any tank. I'm not that well-versed in the current state of tank builds, so maybe there's some incredible skill or magic out there now, but for players who clearly haven't returned from the New Continent yet, this is just way too much of an impossible game.
Well, saying I didn't actually hunt them was a bit of a bluff. I do swoop in to deal the finishing blows to exhausted scorpions, so my subjugation count is actually pretty decent... but explaining that sounded like a hassle, so I just brushed them off with a generalized excuse.
"Now then, Saina. Do you know why I completely threw away the Behemoth run to come here?"
"Unknown: I see very little reason to prioritize this over obtaining clues for the Orchestra subjugation."
"Nah, none of that matters anymore. Just the fact that it's an Exordinary variant of the Crystal Scorpions is more than enough reason to prioritize it over Orchestra."
Since it was confirmed that Orchestra won't vanish just because Mirei beat me to it, if I'm being honest, the priority just isn't that high anymore.
"Then let me explain the operation! We're going to gather information from absolute zero and subjugate the 'Golden Age'... That is all!!"
"............"
"Don't give me that exasperated look. Through this battle, I'm going to put an end to all that inner conflict of yours."
Now then, time to charge right in.
...
10 seconds later.
...
"Gwaaaaaaahh!!?"
Pincer attacks! Multiple encirclemenets! Deploying forces tailored perfectly to the situation!! To put it mildly, this is absolute heeeeellll!!
Their movements are completely different from usual. They definitely have discipline now, and my usual Crystal Scorpion strategy—'inducing friendly fire to break through'—has been rendered completely useless.
Even as I jumped over a squad of Crystal Scorpions rushing me down like a line of bulldozers, the second wave waiting behind them aimed a tail thrust at the exact moment I landed.
But here, the Relative Three-Dimensional Motion immediately shone. A semi-automatic evasion triggered in response to the attack aiming for my heart, forcing a quick step, allowing me to slip through a gap created between the aligned individuals—a gap that only existed because of their massive frames—and push further ahead.
"Saina! Are you alive!!?"
"Report: No issu... Correction: Third wave confirmed."
"Doesn't matter! Keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushiiing!!"
Before coming here, I received a certain amount of information regarding the 'Golden Age' from the 【Library】, routed through The Professor, who had scrambled his way up to the Eighth Layer in a sheer panic. Because of that, I can understand it. The information I've accumulated from constantly coming to the Crystal Nest Cliff has allowed me to form a highly confident hypothesis.
"Found it! It's that one...! Saina! We're going to destroy its crest!!"
"Acknowledged:"
Unlike me, who has to rely entirely on skills, Saina can perform jumping maneuvers so extreme with her boosters that it's practically flight. If things get really bad, I can always just forcibly shove her into the Inventoria anyway. Well, that's really only for the absolute, final last resort though...
"You're the trick behind all this, you damn relay node!!"
A sovereign individual appeared at the Crystal Nest Cliff, and through it, the Crystal Scorpions acquired discipline... I get that much. But even so, something felt off about the whole thing.
First, look at the movements of the Crystal Scorpions... there's a slight lag, but the way they coordinate their movements in direct response to my own is certainly a massive threat. However, that raises the question: how exactly are they doing that?
I mean, think about it. No matter what kind of strategy game you're playing, it's impossible to win without looking at the board or the screen. Even if the 'Golden Age' possessed the mind of a genius tactician, how could it possibly keep track of my movements when I'm completely obscured and surrounded by other Crystal Scorpions?
And then there's the information I got from the interviews—the reports about 'weird-looking Crystal Scorpions'... I don't know if they're generals or what, but out of all the ones that have attacked me in this area so far, there hasn't been a single individual that immediately looked 'weird' at first glance. Up until now, any anomalies at the Crystal Nest Cliff were always Elders, which exclusively referred to those with unbalanced diets.
If that's the case, there's only one answer. Among the 'standby group' that hasn't participated in the attacks and has just been observing the situation from earlier... You! The one with the crystal shaped like a sharp symbol (♯) growing out of its back!! You're the 'eye' and the 'relay node', aren't you?
Brandishing the Aspiring Blades of the Hero and the Final Blade of Aspiration's End With the Hero, I closed in on the relay node, which was unnaturally being protected by the normal individuals. Did you really think just two or three scorpions could stop me now? I leapt, using the backs of the scorpions blocking my way as stepping stones and their tails—supported by immense strength—as makeshift pillars, vaulting myself right in front of the ♯-individual.
"Destructiooooon!!"
I only slashed it three times, but the '♯' shattered remarkably easily. However, the resulting change in the situation caused by its destruction was far beyond my expectations.
"Report: The surrounding Crystal Scorpions have entered an unnatural state of stasis."
"Waiting for orders? If I poke them recklessly, they'll probably just punch me normally. Let's keep moving! Saina, check from above... Out of all the ones spawned here in the Crystal Nest Cliff, roughly what percentage of them have stopped moving!?"
While watching Saina leap exceptionally high into the air, looking like she still had unresolved questions she wanted to ask, I attempted to heal the HP I'd lost to chip damage... Oh, success on the first try. Lucky me.
"Confirmation: Twenty-five percent of the total."
"You could have just said 'twenty-five percent' normally... I see, so there are three more."
Perfect timing. Shall we do a little 'educating' around here? The passionate teacher Sunraku's night sky lessons are quite intense, you know... I'm counting on you, my teaching materials. Do me a favor and cooperate a bit so I can teach our Saina a lesson in morals.
Author's Afterword
Jubilo-style [*2]
Translator's Notes
- [1] Cat Extermination, It's Extremely Drafty: This is a soramimi (mondegreen/misheard lyric) from the Prince of Tennis musical (Tenimyu). It became a massive meme on NicoNico Douga around 2006-2007. The actual lyric in the song "Aitsu koso ga Tennis no Oujisama" is "Gekokujou da ze, tsubuse" (It's an usurpation, crush him). However, due to the actor's enunciation, it famously sounded like "Neko kujo da ze, tsuufuusei" (Cat extermination, it's extremely drafty). Since this meme is nearly two decades old, the author jokes that recognizing it reveals your age, and pretends to be a kindergartener who doesn't get it.
- [2] Jubilo-style: "Jubilo" refers to Jubilo Fujitaka, a character from Kazuhiko Shimamoto's manga Hoero Pen, who is a direct caricature of real-life manga artist Kazuhiro Fujita (Ushio and Tora, Karakuri Circus). A "Jubilo-style" (or Fujita-style) situation refers to his signature trope of putting characters through intense, desperate, and passionately hot-blooded physical trials to teach them moral lessons or resolve their inner conflicts. Sunraku is basically saying he's about to deliver a brutally hot-blooded shonen-manga lesson to Saina.
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