Chapter 607: Chase Cooking Impact!!
Author's Preface
The dedicated tallying volunteers have been sending in the final counts one after another, and I've updated the story in order to show my gratitude. Sometime this week, I plan to announce the results of the popularity poll in either the Activity Report or Inventoria, and as promised, I'll start working on the side stories.
Which means the main story updates will be... well, maybe... you know.
〜Excerpt from a conversation between a certain player and an NPC〜
"Hey shopkeep, you got any speed-boosting disposable magic mediums〜?"
"Ah, Pioneer-san. Sorry about that, but we just sold out of the entire stock."
"Sold out? But you just told me a new shipment came in."
"Well, you see, a rather terrifying-looking Knight-sama who seemed to be in an awful hurry came in and bought the whole lot."
"Knight? Terrifying-looking... You mean he took off everything except the helmet or something?"
"That would certainly be a frightening pervert. No, this person was wearing armor that was so incredibly fleshy, if someone told you it was a monster, you'd believe them."
"That's the first time I've ever seen anyone use the word 'fleshy' to describe armor. Did the AI bug out?"
◆
For now, I guess I should consider it a decent harvest just learning that this unruly accessory is generally not cut out for protracted battles.
Having caught up to Survival—who had started running away earlier while I was still fumbling around in the Overflow state—the two of us were currently occupying a small clearing in the vast plains, having a meal to recover our hunger gauges.
"Just tossing a hunk of meat into a box and waiting a bit for a completed steak to pop out... Isn't that a dystopia, to put it mildly?"
『As long as you simply enjoy the results, it is a utopia.』
I'm pretty sure that line easily ranks in the Top 3 things someone belonging to a "Utopia" absolutely shouldn't say... You know the kind of game I'm talking about. The protagonist uncovers the sinister process behind the scenes, leading to the collapse of the utopia, but then the ending just completely throws the rest of the plot to the future with some line like, "Humans can build their own utopia with their own hands... Yes, I'm sure of it!" There was a game I played once that did exactly that halfway through the story, and then forced you to just endlessly build a city for the entire rest of the game... I went through a phase where I was hunting down indie games like Takeda-shi does, and that was one of the ones I found.
I can't say I didn't question its validity as a cohesive game, but both the RPG half and the SLG half were genuinely well-made... Actually, I feel like I played something similar somewhat recently. By the way, the creator of that indie game eventually went on to make a brand-new standalone RPG and a standalone SLG, successfully transitioning onto the path of success... On one hand, having fewer trash games in the world is a cause for celebration, but on the other hand, it feels kinda lonely.
『I guarantee the taste!』
"Hmm, it's honestly delicious. Got any mustard?"
"Survival, what kind of person puts mustard on a steak...?"
"No, that's completely normal. What do you use on your steak, then?"
"Rice."
"Well, course they go well together! Wait, ain't that a violation of the regulations!?"
If it's perfectly acceptable to place meat on top of rice, then there shouldn't be any problem placing rice on top of meat. A man who stands apart from the rest formulates his ideas on an entirely different level, just like Columbus.
"What's the boss of this layer again? Something-something marbled meat?"
『The Superior Homage Frost Body.』
"Supreme Imitation・Marbled Meat Physique... huh."
Despite the ridiculously stupid pun name, it's a massive pain of a boss that possesses an absurdly smart AI and freezing attacks that double as nasty debuffs. And above all else... it's just stupidly huge.
"The fact that its meat is soft is a saving grace I suppose, but how're we gonna tackle it?"
"Course it's soft, it's marbled... Let's see, do you have any ultra-high firepower moves? Like self-destruction or somethin'."
"I do, but why the hell would I use it?"
"Hey, don't skimp on the firepower."
"I'm talking about the self-destruction part, dumbass."
Wait, you were focused on the self-destruction part?! And you actually have one?!
Though I guess I can't really talk since most of my own high-firepower skills basically amount to self-destruction anyway...
"Well, if we just keep hitting it, it'll die eventually."
"Yeah, guess so. Gotta be easier than the Gluttonous Bull at least."
"Don't compare it to the absolute strongest HP sponge monster in Saba-Gan. Is there a single player alive who can actually defeat that thing without some third party interrupting?"
"Man... That thing was completely insane. The very second it's born, every single other monster on the map instantly enters a combat state..."
Spawning roughly once a month to completely level the isolated island into a barren wasteland before eventually dying of starvation, it is a prime candidate for the title of "King of Trash Mobs" in Saba-Gan. Players frantically migrated to other servers just to escape it, and because those refugees ignored the local customs and etiquette of their new homes, massive wars constantly broke out. From the moment it was born until the moment it died, that thing's entire existence was an unmitigated natural disaster...
"Alright then, my stomach's full. Let's get this boss fight started."
"Yeah, it should be showing up right about now, shouldn't it?"
『Yes, exactly... Yes, indeed. Right about now, I'd say.』
Hmm...?
〜Log of a Certain AI-esque NPC〜
『I sincerely apologize, but coordinate notifications for specific individuals require an Amberjack Pass Level 3 or higher.』
"...I see."
Piyo-piyo-piyo-piyo-piyo...
『And those indigenous organisms over there are...?』
"...My guides."
◆
"Sunraku-san!? Do you need some assistance!!"
"Uwoah, Akitsu Akane!? Don't be stupid, as if I'd lose to a lump of meat like this...!!"
While I was in the middle of engaging the Beef Custom Big Body—a colossal chunk of meat created by executing the absurdly simple theory of "If we make it bigger, we can eat more of it, right?" using utterly ridiculous, highly-advanced science—the person who came rushing toward me was none other than Akitsu Akane.
I didn't recognize the faces of the three players following behind her, so she probably just joined a random pickup party. I felt like those three were staring daggers at me for some reason, but... whatever. In other news, Survival just got punted by the boss and was currently tumbling far into the distance. It's gonna take a while for him to get back here. And while I don't harbor any ill will toward Akitsu Akane and her group, having to split the battle merits after coming all this way is somewhat annoying.
My thrust with Memento Mori completely failed to pierce deep into the gigantic beef, and its slight squirming was enough to knock me out of the air. Promptly concluding that stabbing attacks were completely ineffective with my lackluster physical strength, I shifted my strategy to blunt-force combat.
"Just watch...!!"
Closing the distance against a massive frame that could send a human flying purely by squirming its body, I forced myself directly underneath the beast and clenched my empty hands into fists. Throwing half-baked firepower at this thing is like tossing a drop of water on a hot stone; at the end of the day, I'm still just a lightweight fighter who happens to have a few high-firepower moves... In that case, what I need to do is make sure this thing doesn't try any funny business until the main firepower kicks in!!
Lend me your strength, "Warphan"! Behold the light of day right here, right now... Unprecedented Secret Art!!
"War-Shattering Amber Display!!"
If it's a Heavy Strike, the damage increases. If it's a Light Strike... Blow it away, Impact!!
But it seems that reading the text to understand the concept and actually experiencing it firsthand are two entirely different things.
In complete contrast to the light smack of a standard jab... B-BOOOOOOOM!!! A thunderous roar—so loud I almost wanted to ask the devs if they accidentally swapped the fist-impact sound effect with an artillery cannon's sound effect—echoed across the field. And then, without any exaggeration whatsoever, the colossal hunk of beef—which easily rivaled the size of a 4-ton cargo truck—was launched into the air.
"Oh wow..."
It shouldn't have dealt any actual damage. "Warphan" is a skill balanced entirely on the scales of firepower and knockback; they can never co-exist simultaneously. With a knockback force this absurd, the actual damage should have been virtually non-existent... Or so I thought, but looking at the gigantic chunk of beef—which had gone from standing on all fours to flipping onto its back in mid-air, exposing its belly to the sky—a mixture of anxiety and anticipation crept into my mind, wondering if I had somehow output massive firepower as well...
"Well ain't that a real impressive show you put on there... In that case, I can't afford to lose!!"
Hearing Survival let out a spirited roar mixed with both elation and excitement, I whipped my head around to see where he was. To my absolute horror, he was standing in a majestic, imposing stance directly in the center of the exact spot where the gigantic beef's back was destined to slam into the earth... in other words, the exact spot where he was about to get crushed flat.
Rather than "Are you okay!?" or "Watch out!", the first words that instinctively popped into my head were "Namu-san!!" But it seemed he hadn't suddenly developed a death wish either.
In his hands, rather than the Sky Piercer he had been wielding until a few moments ago, was a sledgehammer radiating an ominous, dark-red aura. And the brilliant light surging across his entire body was a multitude of skill effects, making it look as though his sheer fighting spirit had manifested into a visible aura.
"Snap right in half like a twig! Teraton...! Collapserrrrrrr!!"
"A-Amazing!"
Akitsu Akane's surprise was entirely justified. After all, exactly as declared, the massive body had its spine bent into a completely unnatural "<" shape and was violently smashed right back in my direction like a goddamn tennis rally... Wait.
"Ah, my bad."
"SAY THAT SOONER YOU IDIOOOOT!!!"
Getting crushed to death is the absolute worst way to go!!!
Author's Afterword
Survival initially possessed roughly three times the number of skills Sunraku had, but it got way too complicated, so I ended up consolidating his skill count down to about one or two per weapon type.
As a result, he doesn't have a wide variety of options, but the sheer lethality and destructive power of each individual strike is absurdly high.
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