Chapter 599: Reborn! Cooking Monster Wimp!
Author's Preface
The plot blew off in a completely different direction from my initial plans, but it's fine. She was originally supposed to be a sculptor.
『Monster Unprecedented Discovery... Resolved!』
『Subjugation Target: FM's Chrysalis "War Orphan"』
『An Exordinary Monster has been defeated.』
『Title 【I Fight, Therefore I Am】 acquired.』
『Title 【Dawn of the War's End】 acquired.』
『Unprecedented Secret Art "War-Shattering Amber Display" learned.』
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Anyway, having entered hyper low-tension mode, I collapse on the spot the moment the FM's Chrysalis vanishes. Good grief, I thought the trope of the victor collapsing after a fierce battle only ever happened during scripted event scenes, but to think I'd get to experience it in a format like this.
Come to think of it, I've used this a few times before, but is this the first time it's ended in a complete victory? Good for you, Crimson Skull; this is the taste of the sweet wine of victory.
"Oooohhh... Saina〜, Saina〜..."
"Response: Commencing retrieval operations."
As expected, a competent Intelligence is just built different.
Saina promptly retrieves the items dropped by the FM's Chrysalis "Warphan." Since she is synchronized with my Inventoria, she's able to collect my items too; after cleaning up the scattered weapons, she approaches me... Hmm? Why is she stopping to think right there?
"...Hello?"
"Statement: Won't you die either way?"
"What do you mean either way... Wait, hold on a second."
You want me to just die here because retrieving and dragging me back is too much of a pain!? Hey, wait a damn minute, you piece of junk!! Treating your contractor like a disposable paper cup...! Throw your trash away properly in a trash can!!
"Wait, who are you calling burnable trash!!"
"Detecting an abnormality in your logical leaps."
"No, wait, Saina... Right, reduce. Or even reuse in this case. Human resources are... ah, they're not something you can just use up and throw away."
"Instruction: Contractor... think of it as recycling."
"Stop assuming I'm going to get crushed, you idiot!!"
Ngh, the aftershocks of the centipede and spider's battle are heading this way!
"Hey idiot, what are you doing?! Just illegally dump the trash that's going to disappear on its own anyway!!"
"...............Acknowledged."
Depending on the situation, those words could bring tears to my eyes, but unfortunately, the current situation is simply a picture of "Saina looking with exasperated eyes at a piece of trash screaming to be thrown away."
That said, staying here means getting caught up in the collateral damage. Watching Saina swiftly escape from Sigmonia's "combat zone" out of the corner of my eye, my thoughts spin as I wonder what to do next. Well, the only thing I can really do is leave a will...
"Don't you think it's about time you guys sign a ceasefire agreement?"
Before I could even let out a dying groan, I was crushed to death by the falling Fortress. These guys really have a terrible relationship...
...
.........
...............
"That was close... Come to think of it, that was the last use..."
Crawling out of what used to be my tent as it collapses with a clatter, I grumble, having reverted back to a man. Dammit, so they grind up the old Sunraku and recycle him into a new Sunraku? I'm not a plastic bottle.
"But I secured the victory... Kukuku, an Exordinary Skill... It doesn't seem bad at all."
Unprecedented Skill "War-Shattering Amber Display". Derived from the "War Orphan," it's a punching-type skill—whether because of the equipment I was wearing when I defeated it, or simply by its original design.
As for what it does, it causes a powerful knockback when a punch lands. It sounds simple on paper, but the higher the damage dealt to the target upon attacking, the smaller the scale of the impact becomes... However, the reverse is also true. This skill increases the scale of the shockwave the less damage is dealt.
It's a wild, unmanageable skill reminiscent of the guy when he was alive, but it's interesting. I'm curious about the upper limit of the shockwave, but... there's something I need to do before testing it out.
"Ah, well... Are you going to live there again?"
"my beeeed..."
Ah... the entrance has completely caved in. If this were a normal wasteland, there might have been a chance to dig it back up, but... ah, yeah. In the Sigmonia Frontline Valley, where a walking minefield, a walking fortress, and a walking railway gun irregularly blast the crap out of each other... excavation work is impossible. And while we're on the subject, I have no choice but to give up on those "split ends" too.
It's a shame, sure, but I know at least one other place where that thing is, so if I just egg on 【Library】 or someone at this point, I might be able to work something out... No, the more pressing issue is Wimp's bed. Even if she's gotten slightly stronger, this area is a high-level zone where even Level 99 players feel insecure.
"At this point, should I just take her to a frontline base...?"
The Conquista Doll base is out. If she goes there, it wouldn't be "residing" so much as "incarceration" or something along those lines. The Bugman Village? No, that's no good either. Even if they can hold a conversation, they're still barbarians. Which leaves the former Elf Village... Hmm, that's currently the only place where you can unlock the level cap, so placing unique content there might be a bad idea... Nngh, is a frontline base really the only option? Inside Skull Azuchi—no, wait, didn't large-scale clans frequently gather there due to connections with big-shot production players... No? Hold on a second?
"Frontline base, frontline base... New Continent, branch..."
"w-what is it?"
"Wimp, if I recall correctly, you've been doing some cooking lately, right?"
I remember her begging for cooking utensils, which means this cowardly Unique Monster possesses cooking-related skills. Whether that's backed by actual game skills or just NPC flavor text doesn't matter right now.
The important thing is that it's a one, not a zero. If there's an ember of persuasion, all I have to do is turn it into a roaring inferno through roleplay.
"The plan has been decided, Wimp. You are... let's see, Wimp the Wandering Cook."
"h-huh?"
"Listen to me. If I just take you to a frontline base as you are... a place where humans gather, your life will almost certainly be targeted."
She's a Unique Monster, after all. There are bound to be guys who decide, "Let's try beating it." I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it's terribly inconvenient. Skull Azuchi gets a lot of foot traffic, and the church is the same, partly because the Saint resides there permanently... But that place doesn't get that much traffic, and more importantly, my "face" carries weight there.
"So I'm going to have my workplace shelter you. I feel like that place will work out."
Looking at her utter cowardice... Ah, right, I can actually measure it. Let's see here?
"...Impossible."
"What's the matter desu wa?"
Karma Value...... 75.
Impossible... Even if, even if you are... A Unique Monster... Goldunine the Inexhaustible, having a Karma Value lower than a criminal who has killed a single person... You've gotta be kidding me...!!
"Couldn't you commit a bit more senseless killing or something...?"
"senseless...? but there's no benefit in that for me either."
"You're absolutely right."
If you're going to kill, you want it to be beneficial. I get it, I totally get it. Back in the day, as a hitman, assassin, berserker, and high school student, I too ran around constantly keeping beneficial actions in mind... Well, regarding the last one, "high school student," the phrase "time is money" sank so deeply into my bones that no amount of washing could scrub it off.
"Issue Proposition: What will you do about the entity named Sammy-chan?"
"There's no rule saying a wandering cook can't tame a monster, right? Besides..."
Compared to the idiots over there, this is perfectly wholesome. Apparently, those guys are currently working wholesomely for incredibly unwholesome motives... The fact that I'm not entirely unrelated to it is somewhat... No, let's forget about it.
"Our destination is the frontline base: the 'Serpent's Apple' New Continent Branch...!"
To hide a snake, put it among snakes, as they say. It's an all-night march!!
Author's Afterword
Q. In other words, what kind of skill is it?
A. You tap the opponent's head lightly while saying "Hey!", and the resulting shockwave snaps their neck.
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