Chapter 589: Roar, Fierce Bull! Sprint Through the Divine Peaks
Author's Preface
I finished shiny hunting in Hell, so now I'm going to shiny hunt. (Infinite loop)
Q. Why did you blow yourself up and take two of the Alliance's Teraton-Class ships down with you?
A. My hand slipped from all the manual shuffling over the past few days, I'm truly sorry, my bad, you pieces of trash.
Q. Why did you send a fully prepped squad of guerillas into our ship?
A. My hand slipped, so it can't be helped! Why don't you try manually shuffling your teleport gates too?! Just click-click-click away! Hey!!!!
"Hornet's Nest" Alliance Leader Deer Horn. Self-destructed and died in battle alongside the Queen's Throne.
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"T-Tamaya—"
"Judgin' by the shape, wouldn't it be Kagiya? Not that I even know what shape it's supposed to be." [*1]
"An exchange of hatred where they beat each other to death with wads of cash, and we get to watch the non-fiction live broadcast. Fox, do you have any popcorn and cola on you?"
"...Aren't you getting more and more thug-like by the day?"
"I wonder if it isn't just his true colors showing."
Isn't it a bit too funny, to put it mildly, that I'm being told I'm 'showing my true colors' by a G.I.R.L whose codename is literally a molting creature?
In modern society, just because you don't like someone's company, you can't just pass off barbaric acts like poisoning them or sending hitmen after them. The default for capitalist struggles is an imaginary sword fight where you bash each other with clubs made of literal wads of cash.
But look at this, in this world, the invisible fists of distribution and information have become tangible resources and objects, literally scattering sparks as they clash.
"To think that no matter how much you wrap yourself in cash-shop gear, the unit price of a single human life simply scatters at the push of a self-destruct button... How profoundly amusing."
By completely casually getting within point-blank self-destruct range right before the start of the final day's combat period, the Queen's Throne detonated in a spectacular fashion. One of the Teraton-Class ships, which was already exhausted from nearly a week of continuous fighting, was split clean in half and chain-exploded. Even the other Teraton-Class that barely managed to avoid sinking outright is falling back, looking absolutely battered.
They call it hidden poison, but I doubt anyone expected their own ally to turn into a massive landmine in a single day. Should we call it Cutting Board-shi's masterful manipulation of human emotions...? It's a different brand of manipulation from Pencilgon or that Pervert—no, actually, it's more like a hybrid of both. I wonder if I should learn these manipulative techniques that move people through a combination of emotion and pure practical benefit, or if I should stay far away...
"Just hearin' the word 'self-destruct' gives it this special feel... Should I salute or somethin'?"
『Hahaha, neither side is full of good enough people to warrant paying respects.』
Putting his skills aside, I'm becoming increasingly certain that we might actually be the villains of these past seven days. However, the synonym for justice is "values," and the antonym is "Justice (2)."
If that's the case, then functionally we're warriors of justice, so we've decided to run wild to our hearts' content as the hitmen for this Dark Emperor... Or rather, if I were to betray them now, I feel like my helmet would definitely explode. No, it absolutely will explode. The back of my head feels unnaturally heavy right now!! This is totally an inhumane weapon designed to scoop out my spine along with my nape in a single shot!!
"...Thanks to the self-destructin' grandma, our equipment is fully restored, and we've only got today left on the clock. And exactly as per our original 'contract'..."
At this stage, with ten minutes remaining in the combat period of the seventh day, the other trump card Cutting Board-shi has been saving this entire time will be slammed into G-Cup Breast Meat's flagship, "The Great Summit", which we have currently boarded. We are standing on a ship that might very well sink from that attack, but this was decided even before the war began, and it is based on the contract we reconfirmed.
『Thanks to the Queen's Throne's self-destruction and the subsequent partial collapse of the enemy's front line, you've all produced results far beyond my expectations. Even if you get a Game Over today, or even if you sink along with the Everest from my attack, I guarantee your rewards... In other words, you are free to act however you please. Run as wild as you want.』
"Easy for you to say, not like what we gotta do changes anyway."
『Push forward, gentlemen. I will uphold my end of the contract.』
There's no room for compromise now. Our target is the leader's head in the inner citadel. And from here on out...
"...We split up. Including Cutting Board-san's assault, it's a six-pronged operation to corner G-Cup Breast Meat."
"No hard feelings if someone drops dead halfway through, right?"
"I'd really like to make it back alive so I can bring this gear home, though."
One pulls out a heavy motorcycle, while another dons powered armor equipped with a high-output reactor. One commands a squad of battle-droids placed under his control, while another shoulders a final-battle-spec firearm, and yet another activates optical camouflage.
The final-battle equipment Hornet's Nest rushed to produce for us—I think I'll put it to full use......... To tell you the truth, I am a man who achieved the Triple Crown in a ghost-town of an online trash racing game where I only ever matched with the exact same group of players every time.
Did the devs seriously not realize during the testing phase that you shouldn't combine a Musou game with a racing game? Running backward from the starting line, killing the enemies near the finish line to get overpowered gear, and then annihilating the other players was the strongest strategy... there is something fatally wrong with that as a racing game.
"The screws in my head are doing the Eight-Boat Leap! They're talking about me...!"
"...That's way too many skips."
"Are you skipping stones or something?"
If a game has an autopilot function, obviously you're gonna use it to jump from vehicle to vehicle and crush the other players! It's perfectly normal! There's absolutely no reason I should be treated like a madman for it!!
"Well then, excuse me for going on ahead! See you in hell, my friends!"
The Enclosed Space AssaultArmed Large Motorcycle "Asterios" lets out a ferocious roar. Modeled after a fierce bull, the massive bike launches forward like a loosed arrow in accordance with my will as its rider, bowling over the security androids swarming to eliminate the intruder as I blast through at top speed.
"Nice! But as a rugby man in real life, I can't just overlook someone else throwin' tackles while I'm around!!"
"Oh, that's a first."
"Is a rugby man really allowed to wear such a dangerous powered suit?"
"It's a gentleman's sport, of course I'll at least wear formal attire."
"I absolutely never want to attend a wedding where these things are lined up, there'd definitely be casualties during the bouquet toss."
It seems the others, who vanished behind me in an instant, have also started making their moves. I feel like I heard a ridiculously funny topic just now... but all of that has already vanished behind me into the past. Right now, I only look forward!!
"Hohohohahahahahahaha!!"
While letting out a bizarre voice mixed with screams and loud laughter, the speeding bike activates its system exactly according to its functions. Before colliding with a corner, it fires its boosters, sticking to the wall of a sharp right-angle turn and continuing to drive. Whether it's walls or ceilings, this monster machine treats everything as the ground through applied gravity control............ But I'm used to these kinds of bucking-bronco physics engines. The most recent example would definitely be ShanFro... but even if the game system or engine is different, the underlying tricks are the same.
"Aim for the general's head!"
I'll be the first one there!!
Author's Afterword
・Enclosed Space AssaultArmed Large Motorcycle "Asterios"
A monster machine that requires piloting skills for a fighter jet despite being a motorcycle. You'll probably get the image if I just say it's basically the Beat Gouram. Sunraku is forcibly compensating for his lack of skill points with raw player skill. To be specific, the weapons are on auto, but the piloting is half-manual.
By the way, the racing game mentioned in this chapter is a recycled game setting that Rust was originally supposed to be obsessed with in the early drafts.
Translator's Notes
- [1] Tamaya / Kagiya: Traditional shouts heard during Japanese fireworks festivals, originally cheering on the rival firework guilds Tamaya and Kagiya in the Edo period.
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