Chapter 561: Two Sides of the Same Coin, Parallel, and We Are Spartan
Author's Preface
The "Love" half of this Rom-Com!? I thought it was dead...!!
『...And with that! "Crescent Memoir 4" goes on sale next spring!』
『To all the Cre-Memo fans! Do your best to survive the winter〜』
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Pencil Knight King: I heard Cre-Memo 3 was a monumental trash game though.
Sunraku: It's not a trash game, it's just that the chore-grinding segments are monumentally boring as the price paid for the perfection of the story and characters.
Pencil Knight King: Ah, the kind of game you can't even toss onto the backlog pile.
Sunraku: I didn't even feel like buying it just to suffer through the chores, so this is a second-hand evaluation, but the outsourced studio that handled the gameplay segments is just a known trash game maker.
Sunraku: It's the Side-Glancing Gorilla studio.
Pencil Knight King: Ah, so you avoided it for the sake of your mental health.
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I had heard that a friend of Takeda-shi's who closely followed the Cre-Memo series took ungodly, irrecoverable damage from it. Word was he's a foreign super oil baron who foresaw the wave of the modern oil shock and got even richer off next-gen energy, but when Takeda-shi says it, I can't help but feel it's 100% true. Turning an actual oil baron into a hater... what kind of sins did Togenkyo Games commit in their past life...
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Pencil Knight King: So, the girl next to you is Momo-chan's younger sister, right? I've only seen her face five or six years ago, but she's got a softer vibe than Momo-chan, so it's Rei-chan, right?? In other words, Psyger-0-chan, right??? Hm?? Hm??? Hmmm????
Sunraku: By the way, what happens if I exercise my right to remain silent?
Pencil Knight King: I'll leak this log to Wolfgang and then drag you up on stage as the secret guest, "No Face".
Sunraku: Stop combo-ing torture and execution.
Sunraku: At the very least, it's not what you think it is.
Pencil Knight King: Hhooooh.
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『Now then, for our next introduction...』
『───Even so, Natsume-chan, looking at everyone who came out today, there really are all kinds of people, aren't there〜』
『Eh?』
『You over there! The Towa Eye sees right through you〜? Judging by your reaction just now, you're a Cre-Memo fan, aren't you? ...Ah, thanks for the big "O" pose with your arms!』
Hey, wait a sec, why did she just look over here.
『The girl standing behind that couple over there......... hahaaa, you came to see Towa-chan, didn't you〜? I'm blowing you a kiss! And a blown kiss to everyone watching the broadcast too!』
"""""KYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"""""
"(゜Д゜)"
The massive volume swelling up behind us wasn't a cheer, it was a straight-up shriek—aren't Cultists way too scary? Also, a screaming message notification from Rumi just flew in, so I quietly turned off my notifications. More importantly, who the hell is a couple? One of them is just a suspicious creep... wait, that's me!!
"H-Hiyee......... hoa, heh........."
"Rei-san?"
"I-I'm going to the flower field to shoot some pheasants, b-brb!"[*1]
"R-Rei-san?"
"S-scuse m!!!!"
She left before I could even stop her............
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Pencil Knight King: ............
Sunraku: ............
Pencil Knight King: Okay, I get it! It was my fault!!
Sunraku: Show some more sincerity and apologize.
Pencil Knight King: I don't intend to apologize to you even a single bacteriophage's worth!!
Sunraku: Having zero remorse on a level not even visible under an electron microscope... has your conscience died out entirely?
Pencil Knight King: No, absolute justice is totally on my side right now.
Sunraku: Ah, your brain cells have already regressed to bacteriophages......... Playing IRL on brain-dead mode must be amazing (lol).
【Wolfgang】
Pencil Knight King: Look at what this suspicious funny-face freak is saying.
Sunraku: Hey, you bastard!!
Rust: ???
Mold: Eh, what are you talking about?
Pencil Knight King: Part of my sanctions.
Mold: ???
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"That bastard.........!!"
Ugh, I can't take back the initiative...! To have my right to life or death seized by her, this is the greatest blunder of my life...!!
But I don't have any vision of bouncing back from this situation, and since Rei-san went bird hunting in the flower field, I can't leave this spot until she gets back. I'm in checkmate.........!!
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Sunraku: Ah, when does the ShanFro showcase start?
Pencil Knight King: After about three more introductions.
Sunraku: Understood.
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If ShanFro is still a ways off, I guess it's fine to just half-listen for now...
『Now then, what's our next introduction〜?』
『The long-awaited latest title from Royale... "Spartan Metal"!』
『Alright staff, please roll the special teaser movie!』
This is no time to half-listen!!
──────This is Sparta. People call it Hell. People call it Heaven.
"O great child of Sparta, from this day forth, you must survive in this Sparta alone. Know that all brethren are entirely your enemies, and all enemies are entirely your brethren."
──────The warriors continue to fight.
"Yo, fledgling. Leave that potato behind as your tuition fee."
──────There is no peace.
"What, you have no food? There are slaves right there, aren't there."
──────There is no happiness.
"Listen up, it's a beatdown. Even the great King Leonidas can be dealt with if we just gang up and beat him down."
──────However.
"It's Xerxeeeeeees!! Xerxes has appeaaared!!!"
──────There is trust.
"Yo, fledgling! As thanks for the potato, I'll teach you the ultimate secret art of Sparta......... That's right, the Phalanx."
──────There is solidarity.
"Form the Formation! Defend Thermopylae to the death!!"
──────Let your blood boil. Yes, we are...
"Come and take them!! Raise your spears! Ready your shields! It's the Phalanx! The Phalanx!! That's right! We are───"
""""""SPARTA!!!""""""
──────Spartan Metal, Coming Soon.........
"This is Sparta's ultimate weapon, the Giant God Armor Hyperokos Lacedaion."
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Sunraku: Overflowing premonitions of a God Game.
Pencil Knight King: Don't think you can gloss over it by hyping it up, the first half is literally just a free-for-all murderfest welcome party, right?
Sunraku: .........?
Pencil Knight King: Haaaah! This is exactly why Bakumatsu-brains are just...!!
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No, but seriously, it's something to look forward to. It's a fact that Bakumatsu has been feeling a bit stagnant lately, so kicking back and enjoying a relaxing Spartan life for a change of pace doesn't sound bad at all. Even Raid Boss-san, who looks like he couldn't survive outside of Bakumatsu, could probably take a nice vacation in Sparta without any issues. Morals as a game aside, Royale as a developer really is the best......... even if they're pulling borderline scams on clueless new players.
Welcome, completely new players! I'll go ahead and spawn-kill you for now!!!!
Author's Afterword
Inside a bathroom stall.
Heroine-chan: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA↑aaaaaa↓AAAAAAAAA!!!!↑↑↑ (The faintest, highest-pitched shriek audible to human ears)"
Information known about Spartan Metal so far:
- For the time being, solve problems through mutual killing.
- Ganging up and beating things down solves most problems.
- The Phalanx solves everything.
- It can't be helped, because we are Sparta.
- Decisive Battle Weapon Hyperokos Lacedaion.
Translator's Notes
- [1] Flower field / Pheasants: A play on Japanese euphemisms. "Picking flowers" is a polite euphemism for women doing number one outdoors, while "shooting pheasants" is the male equivalent. Rei is panicking so much that she accidentally combined them.
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