Chapter 491: The Ooka Rabbit Judgment [*1]

Author's Preface
Because I'm so busy IRL, the things I want to write just keep piling up.
Did Metagross learn Double Team????

It defies logic, but there will always be characters you instinctively just can't stand. They say that if you hate the monk, you'll hate his robes too, but if falling in love with someone requires no logic, then getting pissed off at someone doesn't need any either.

Simply put, I don't really get it, but he pisses me off! Leaving him alone feels like he'd just seize the Initiative from everyone around him and force his own way, and that pisses me off!

"Hey, hey, hey, when it comes to this, I'm the victim here, alright? I don't care if you're a mercenary or a deadbeat, pushing this along without my say-so doesn't make any sense, right? Hm?"

Dulnyata is the only Jeweler I know of, which means he holds commercial value.
If things keep flowing like this and he gets forced to chop off a pinky, I'll lose my connection to a top-tier accessory crafter.

"Haaah? What's yer problem, punk? Who the hell are ya glarin' at, haaah?"

"I'm telling you to make it make sense, you dumbass. Do you really think I handed them over without knowing about their sticky fingers? You think I blindly handed over a mountain of gems just to get ten or twenty accessories made?"

Sometimes, gestures are more eloquent than words when it comes to provoking an opponent's emotions. After all, body language is a universal language that surpasses even English; you could even say it's a perfect language that completely covers everything from first-person to third-person pronouns using just a single finger. Even if the Tower of Babel collapses, humanity will survive just fine, sorry to disappoint.
And because there are no words, it serves as the highest-tier BM: "Even someone like you who wouldn't understand if I explained it can at least understand this, right?" According to Takeda-shi, in the good old non-Full-Dive games, gestures were exactly what people used for BMing.

"Think about it, use your head... right, Evelle-kun? It's all in the palm of my hand."

The ultimate combo of tapping my head with my finger and deliberately crouching down to meet his eye level exploded perfectly. Kukuku... Get mad, get mad. Vash is right here, and if you swing your fists mindlessly in a place like this, your nickname will forever be "Scrub."

However, the moment the corners of Evelle's mouth curled up, I realized this wasn't settled yet.

"Hah, ya might act tough callin' yerself the Bird-person or whatever, but in the end, yer just a freeloader, eh?"

"Haaah?"

That wasn't just a sore loser talking; it was a counterargument backed by some sort of logic.

"What about yer palm? I ain't interested in no handprints. What this 'scrub' did was drag Rabituza's name through the mud, ya hear?"

"Tch."

Tch... He struck a nerve. Just as he said, even if I'm just a guest, I belong to Rabituza. In other words, an act of disrespect toward me might as well be an act of disrespect toward Rabituza.
What do I do? From the political perspective of the country of Rabituza, it wouldn't be strange for Aydward to take his side, but I can drag Bilac in since she's the one who taught me about the Cait Siths' nature.

No, that's no good. Vash being here makes this too painful. Since an Ooka Judgment can be passed right here and now, there's no way to establish dominance without completely and utterly destroying him in a debate...!

"Why did they just suddenly start fighting, desu wa... I don't understand this at all, desu wa..."

Both Evelle and I ignored Emul's muttering. It's not about logic. It's like taking that frustrating feeling you get when you see someone else running the exact same build you thought was unique to you, multiplying it by five, and having that constant swirl of emotion boiling inside you.

But there is no pause button in this game, and once the gears start turning, they cannot be stopped.

"So it's Responsibility, then?"

"Damn straight. If sticky hands keep doin' bad things, ain't no choice but to lay down the law."

"Heh... How shallow."

You fool, you exposed an opening! I just got a commitment out of your own words!!

"If you truly cared about the organization, there's absolutely, positively no way... you'd do something like crushing a rare Jeweler, right?"

"Guh."

"Skill is a treasure, you know? I guess it's just wasted on guys who don't understand its value..."

The complete acquittal route is impossible, which means what I need to do is reduce his sentence... basically, pushing to see just how light I can make Dulnyata's Responsibility.
Plus, I just really want to assert dominance over this Yankee rabbit and rub my smug face in his! It's a strange feeling, the exact same feeling I had when I wanted to beat Sylvia...

"Don't they both look a bit too lively right now?"

"Aydward onii-chan, those two aren't oil and water, they're oil and oil, desu wa. They're just fighting over who's higher in the pecking order, desu wa."

Both Evelle and I ignored Emul's words again. I already know that, damn it! I've been feeling extreme déjà vu this whole time! This is exactly what it feels like when you jump into an FPS multiplayer match using a class you're pretty confident with, only to get matched on the same team with another player running the exact same class!! Sure, we'll fight together as teammates, and I'll back him up if he's in trouble, but that's besides the point!!!
Even if we're on the same team, superiority is still determined by our K/D ratios. Did you think it would just end with a, "Wow, you're amazing, GG well played"? Even a one-kill difference is enough to piss me off to death!!

"Atoning for his sins should be done through contribution! At the very least, when it comes to an out-of-court settlement with the victim, that was established a long time ago! Because I already forgave him!!"

"Don't wimp out on me! Just 'cause ya got skills don't mean everything's forgiven, that ain't how the world works! We ain't talkin' 'bout individuals, we're talkin' 'bout a country! Once they look down on ya, it's over!!"

Ugh, he's making a sound argument. But I have logic on my side too! If my prediction is correct, a top-tier crafter is essentially equivalent to a national treasure. If we were talking about prison time or something, I might not have a chance of winning, but... to avoid a punishment that would crush his talent, his Role is a powerful bargaining chip.

He keeps blabbering about the country's honor, but if I attack from the angle of the country's profits, my victory is right before my eyes! I'll assert dominance and act smug about it for generations to cooooooome!!!

"You boys... calm down, yeah?"

It wasn't that there was any physical destructive force, but Evelle and I both stopped moving, experiencing the illusion that we had just taken a heavy blow to the gut.

"I understand perfectly well what yer both tryna say... But ya know, ain't ya forgettin' somethin' crucial?"

"Something..."

"Crucial?"

What is it... Bribes? No, that's not it... What is it???

"Dulnyata."

"H-Hiyiii!!"

"Don't you... go spewin' any cheap lies here... alright?"

"O-O-O-Of course noooot!!"

Taking the full brunt of Vash's intimidation, Dulnyata looked like he was going to collapse at any moment. Well, I don't know exactly what their relationship is, but it's probably like a lowly employee who screwed up being dragged right in front of the CEO... no, the Chairman of a conglomerate. And culturally speaking, there's even a chance he could just get executed on the spot.

The absolute judge—who was on a completely different level from me and Evelle playing defense attorney and prosecutor—slowly, yet concisely asked his question.

"—Tell me... why you did it."

"A-Um, uh... W-Well, you see, that is..."

Impossible, there's no way he has some grand reason for embezzling. I highly doubt he has the guts to honestly confess that it was just a moment of weakness. What do I do? How do I follow up and—

"W-Well... p-pocketing it, I-I have n-no excuses... for that...! B-But! But!! W-What is sealed... within this amber...! It's far, far too dangerous...! I-If something w-were to happen to the Bird-person, i-it would affect Catzeria's prestige...!"

Everyone fell silent.
Without saying a word, Evelle and I exchanged glances, gave an exasperated shrug, and then...

""YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT FIRST, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS, PUNK!!""

"Hiyiii!!?"

You did have a grand reason after all!!

Author's Afterword
By the way, Vash knew the reason why Dulnyata embezzled the gem from the very beginning (or more accurately, he had a hunch), and Aydward had actually been briefed on it beforehand.

In other words, those two idiots were just making a farc... No, never mind.

Translator's Notes

• [1] Ooka Judgment: A cultural reference to Ooka Tadasuke, a famous Edo-period magistrate known for his wise and fair rulings, similar to the Western concept of King Solomon's judgment.