Chapter 481: For Now, Drink Bar

Author's Preface
Just thinking about weapon settings eats up half my day, it's seriously insane.

Who the hell do you think I am? I've participated as a literal piece of equipment in my buddy's ballgame tournaments more times than I can count, I am the man who has been smashed into the ground in every posture imaginable!!

"Like hell I'd botch a landing off such a gentle throw...! Saina! Grab Araba and land!!"

"Acknowledgment:"

"Doaaah!?"

Saina can't exactly fly, but she can jump using her boosters. Even for an NPC, if it just ends with her almost dying a little bit, I'd call that a cheap price to pay.
Now the problem is my end... Heh, compared to the absolute peak of instability that was the Crystal Nest Cliff or the Sigmonia Frontline Valley, an object placement that looks like stacked and lined-up blocks is so utterly casual I might catch a cold.

"First landing!!"

Landing on a scaffold-like stack of containers, my HP is violently gouged out but it's within acceptable parameters. Jumping from there... and then!!

"Oggu... Second landing!!"

BAM!!! At the apex of my jump, I touch down on one face of the walls forming the labyrinth with both hands and feet, sticking to the wall like a frog. While killing my momentum, I channel strength into all four limbs and launch my body dancing back into the air.

"One shot of energy... Last landing!!"

Chugging a recovery potion mid-air, I touch down on the ground. Plus minus zero point one, ninety percent of my health was shaved off but I am undeniably alive and standing... fufufu.

"Ten points, ten points, ten points."

"Judgment: Objectively and subjectively, this unit considers that a Failing Grade (Near Death)."

"I didn't die, so it's a perfect score."

In games with part-destruction mechanics, arms and legs get torn off pretty damn easily, so managing to escape to a safe zone with all your limbs intact is practically equal to gaining a massive advantage. Whether you're turning someone into a punching bag in Saba-Gan or using them as monster bait, crushing their legs first is the standard meta strategy after all... Especially in the Phi Server where players are mostly bare-handed, every single method was just so viscerally raw. Don't break it, don't crush it, don't pull it off.

"Everyone alive? Araba, you didn't step on and snap Nereid, right?"

"I-I wouldn't make a blunder like that!"

"Even Though You Lost Me, In Ruluiath."

"Uguuh."

"Take good care of your weapons, seriously..."

Araba is glaring at me with an incredible look in his eyes but... huh? I have absolutely zero, not even the slightest, not a single shred of a clue what he's thinking about!!

"Anyway we're compiling our intel, I promise not to slap you for now so come on out, Isana."

『I'm a hologram so physical interference is impossible anyway〜. Or rather, am I joining in too? Technically, from a positional standpoint, I'm sort of on the enemy side... ah no, this vessel is an ally of humanity down to the very terminal sectors of the Leviathan, but that's that and this is this, you know?』

"Tutorials are supposed to be annoyingly accommodating anyway, so it's fine, it's fine. Just spit out whatever info you're allowed to reveal."

『I suppose... I suppose so? Well, that's fine. Ah, please wait a moment............ yes, there is a relay station located just a bit further ahead from here, so you won't have to worry about enemy encounters there!』

Ah, so there was a mid-way resting spot after all. I was considering the possibility there might not be one, so this is definitely good news.

And so, letting ourselves be guided by the locator displayed via a subtly terrifying technology known as retinal projection, we arrived at an open area spacious enough to resemble a frontline base.
There are beds and whatnot politely lined up but... eh, don't tell me this is an IH Bonfire (Heater)?

『Please wait just a moment〜, I am fabricating a desk and chairs right now.』

"How utterly bizarre..."

Lines trace across the metallic floor, resembling a 2D display of a disassembled desk and chairs... basically, blueprints are drawn onto the floor, and metallic masses bulge upwards in those exact shapes before assembling themselves all on their own.

『Here, please, go ahead.』

"A chair for a sword...?"

"Thank You Very Much For Your Politeness."

Smoothly preparing seats for both herself and Nereid as well, Isana goes through the motion of sitting down via her hologram, resulting in an indescribable mixed party consisting visually of a human, a merman, a spirit, a doll, and an AI lining up around the round table.

『Ah, luxuries and food supplies can be restocked over there!』

"A drink bar..."

The welfare and benefits in this dungeon are way too perfect. That aside, I'm curious, so I'll down a quick glass.

"What is this 'Rapid Purification 10000% Tropical Juice'?"

I press it.

『That is a beverage created by rapidly growing preserved fruit seeds in ten seconds, atomically decomposing them to compress it, and then liquefying the result!』

"It's heavy!"

Eh, what is this, does that mean they took the pulp, the skin, and everything else, liquefied it all, compressed it even further, and shoved it into a single cup? Isn't this supposed to be the kind of syrup you dilute with water?

"Zz, zzzzo, zzzozo-gobobobo..."

Since I have a salmon head I can't put my lips to the cup, naturally meaning I have to use a straw, but... the bizarre sensation of the liquid being physically heavy as I suck it up through the straw... I guess this is an experience unique to a game. Also the taste was just really dense fruit juice, isn't there any water to dilute this?

"This is amazing, Sunraku! Fresh fish just popped out!!"

"An energy replenishment beverage for Conquista Dolls... I see, so it is an Intellectual Beverage (Intelligence Drink)." [*1]

Ahaha ufufu........................

"What is this, a family restaurant?!!!"

Right as I was in the middle of making a concoction mixing every single menu item from the drink bar, I snap back to my senses. Kuh, it's just way too entertaining as a recreational facility...!!

"Main topic! We are getting back to the main topic!!"

"Sunraku! This thing called 'Sho-yu' is amazing! Truly revolutionary!!"

"───Is that so, then eat this green paste with it too. It sharpens the taste of the sashimi with a sharp, stinging kick, yeah yeah, use a whole lot of it."

"I see! That's quite a new sensa-gagubahaaaaaaah!!?!!?"

Looking down with cold (fish) eyes at Araba as he tumbled out of his chair while clutching his nose, I initiate the strategy meeting.

"Anyway, there are three things we've figured out so far: first, a gravity gimmick exists in this First Shell Layer."

"Affirmation (Yer darn right):"

Did someone install a Kansai-dialect Mod on this piece of junk or something? Well, whatever.
The troublesome part about this gravity gimmick is that the effects of things happening in other locations we have absolutely nothing to do with will come raining down on us... physically.

"Secondly, the gravity gimmick can be intentionally triggered to run wild by dealing damage to the floor. Isana, is it safe to assume that dealing damage to that floor will generally reverse the vector into the 'opposite direction'?"

『I will answer partially no. Gravity control systems are installed in places other than the floors as well; if they Run Wild due to excessive impact, they will exert a repulsive force against the 'exposed surface side'.』

Places other than the floor... ah, so they're built into the walls and objects too.

『To supplement further, the gravity control systems constructing the First Shell Layer 'Greeting Gate' are partitioned into 2x2 meter square blocks.』

A block structure, huh. It was just a visual estimate, but the width of the passages should have been around four meters. Which means it's safe to assume they're built with a width of 2 blocks.

"If you step on a gravity floor while carrying momentum, you'll be blown away in that direction; is physical contact an absolute condition?"

『The repulsive force is proportional to the impact delivered to the gravity control system. It was originally repurposed from armor meant to repel space debris... ah, I mean, fragments of stars, after all. Regarding physical contact, the answer is no; taking the aforementioned conditions into account, a repulsive force exceeding a certain threshold will affect things just by proximity.』

As a modern human I can understand it perfectly fine even without her correcting herself, but I won't point that out too deeply. Looking at absolutely everything from a meta perspective isn't always a good thing, after all.

"M-My nose..."

"Wasabi is something you're supposed to enjoy in moderation, you idiot. Are you listening?"

"I'm listening, I'm listening... and even though I'm listening, I don't understand a single thing."

Good boy for being honest.

"Basically, it's this: the harder you smash it, the stronger the 'blow-away force' becomes."

"I see..."

At the very least, it's already been proven that smashing it with everything you've got using a booster-propelled hammer can produce enough output to blow several people away for hundreds of meters.

"And thirdly, the gravity floor works on both friend and foe alike. If we can use it manually, we can pull off some seriously wicked schemes, you know?"

To be specific, well, I've been super curious about it for a while now, so I might as well ask.

"Hey Isana, that thing casually lined up in the vending machine over there... does it have enough 'firepower' to make the gravity control system run wild?"

『───Splendid. Next-generation primitive human, it appears you accurately understand the intended usage of that object.』

"If I feel like it, I can even pull off air-to-air combat with a Panzerfaust."

I did a double-take and completely doubted my own eyes, after all, right next to the drink bar, there were handguns, rifles, and whatnot being sold in a vending machine.

Author's Afterword
Other Menu Items

• Livestock-Tuned Artificial Meat Steak (Grown from cryopreserved genes; not even a living creature, just meat from start to finish.)

• Ultra-Compressed 10,000 Kilocalorie Cookie (The calories contained in one cookie are equal to exactly one cookie! Note: eating two will cause heartburn comparable to swallowing a bowling ball.)

• Mood Tablet "Curry Flavor" (Nanomachines interfere with the ingester's tongue to transmit solely the taste of curry to their taste buds; no longer even constitutes food.)

• Synthetic Matcha Latte (Strictly speaking it isn't matcha, nor does it use milk. What the hell is it then?)

• Philosophical Cocoa (This beverage, processed using the correct procedures with materials replicated to be as infinitely realistic as possible, is strictly speaking not cocoa, but for the inhabitants of the Leviathan who have never drank proper cocoa, this beverage itself is defined as cocoa, and if that is the case then this is cocoa but as a homonym, no, however, its conceptual role is on par with cocoa......... A notorious pseudo-cocoa that caused the scientists to awaken to some mysterious philosophy, ultimately resulting in a massive, five-year serious debate across the entirety of the Leviathan. In the end, Edward lost his temper.)

• Tamatebako Wine (A ten-year vintage wine is produced in exactly five seconds.)

• Mystery Water (Lavender colored. For some reason, its production has been prohibited at "Isana's" discretion...) [*2]

• Riot Blood: Fiction (A lavender-colored, perfectly legal energy drink that dispenses when a specific command is entered. "I have no memory of implementing this." by Ricchan)

• Aroma Ozone Natural Water (Soooomeday〜 the stars will faaall〜) [*3]

As expected, everything from Riot Blood onwards is just a joke.

• Air-to-Air Panzerfaust
  A Sunraku-style technique where he jumps from the backseat of a fighter jet and fires a Panzerfaust point-blank into a passing enemy fighter jet mid-air.
  By the way, an application of this very technique was utilized for the Heli-Dunk during the GH:C arc.

Translator's Note

• [1] Steins;Gate

• [2] SCP-294: The Coffee Machine

• [3] Kamen Rider Amazons Season 2