Chapter 405: Cynically Installed Intelligence

Author's Preface
Being able to actually feel your own growth really connects to your motivation, doesn't it?

I'm talking about Granblue.

Asses are the key to reconciliation. I have absolutely no idea what I'm saying, and I don't really understand it myself either. But considering even the giant serpent, Sammy-chan—who doesn't look like a Sammy at all—was giving off a totally weirded-out vibe, the key to peace really must be the ass.

"Alright, pull on three, two, one—"

"A-Alright, ready!"

"Okay, one, two, three!"

It's not like she had pierced through a thin wall and gotten stuck; as long as she wasn't awkwardly wedged in, pulling her out actually wasn't that difficult.
Along with Goldunine—who was supposed to be in a highly volatile, hair-trigger situation with me just moments ago—I grab the thighs over the torn spandex shorts and yank the Contest Doll, or whatever her name was, out by her ass.

"Abnormal condition resolved... you are lacking in kindness."

"And you are lacking in gratitude."

"In other words, one to one... Equivalent Exchange (No Count)."

Ah crap, what do I do, is this the kind of NPC that you just can't reason with? Faeria was like that too; depending on the situation, my stomach might die if I don't steel my resolve...

"Jeez! Even though you were sleeping this whole time, what are you doing waking up all of a sudden!?"

"Denial (Non, Non): Hibernation (Sleep Mode) is a function with a distinctly different purpose from the accumulated fatigue-recovery behavior unique to organic lifeforms."

"Specifically?"

"I shift eighty percent of my external equipment into a non-operational state and conduct internal thought processing at low output... In other words, it is an Intellectual (Intelligence) function."

"Let me just say, if you think using cool-sounding words makes you sound cool, you are gravely mistaken."

"Hmph."

What should I do? It's not like she's unpleasant, but I feel like I'm going to end up smacking her eventually... like, more in a 'tsukkomi' kinda way. No, wait, correction. I kinda wanna punch this mock-doll's smug, snorting face right now.
She's a mecha archetype, right? Even though she called herself a Doll, and the cross-section of her gouged-out, torn-off legs definitely looked close to a doll's, there were clearly cybernetic blue lines running across them in multiple layers, and every single line of her dialogue screams 'sci-fi.'
But what is with this disappointing vibe? If she just stayed quiet, she'd probably be popular as a cool mecha character, but her installed AI is way too disappointing.

"Uhh... what was it again? Edamame Sainan-san?"

"Raising a Question (Are you serious right now): Is that designation referring to me? Severe defect confirmed in the memory capacity of the next-generation primitive human species... Oh, our Creator."

"This is pissing me off... you should really choose your friends better, Goldunine."

"We're not friends! In the first place, I'm only in this mess because this thing kidnapped me!! And suddenly muttering to the sky is creepy! Plus, she sleeps with her eyes open!!"

"Protest (Wait a second): That description will evoke misunderstandings in the next-generation primitive human species."

"Yeah, you're right. 'Creepy' is wrong... 'Stupid' is what she is."

"Elma-type manufacturing number 317... Unit name [Elma=317 (Saina)]. I will bludgeon you until you lose your capacity for language, so state your individual designation first."

"Ah? You wanna go, you Daruma knockoff? I'm Sunraku, nice to meet ya."

"Don't clench your fists while introducing yourself! Hii... don't look at me while clenching your fists..."

Even though she's a completely undeformed snake, Sammy-chan's gaze—which seemed to say 'Sorry our wimp is causing you trouble'—left a strangely strong impression on me.

It's probably safe to say that the hostile atmosphere has completely dissipated by now. This straight-banged twintail has the mentality of a Forest-folk (wimp) despite her sharp eyes, and the Doll (Robot) girl—who has been bouncing around using what looks like thrusters attached to her waist—is a venom-spitting brat who completely threw away any mechanical inorganic-ness. At this point, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the only conscience left in this place belongs to me and Sammy-chan...

But avoiding a battle was a stroke of luck. Wimp or not, she's a Unique Monster. If I fought her in my current state, whether I could win or not is a very fine line. At the very least, if this were the Goldunine I encountered underground in Rabituza, I wouldn't stand a chance.

"Hmm... anyway, you want to escape from here, right?"

"Y-Yeah, I do!"

Well, putting aside that other Goldunine who was ordering around four kaiju-class Dragon-Serpents, Sammy-chan's size is only about one size larger than the Gluttonous Giant Serpent. It's big, sure, but it's a bit lacking in height to take on a mobile fortress and a railway gun.
Then, conversely, what is the combat power of the main body? I actually haven't discarded the theory that she's a strong character yet, you know?

"So, how strong are you yourself?"

"Proxy Answer: The retrieval target showed a remarkable response to pacification via suppression stun."

"Meaning?"

"Very weak."

"Ugh..."

Okay, NPC (Dead Weight), got it.
But just saying 'Okay bye' and leaving behind the massive scoop of discovering a Unique Monster would be a bit of a waste.
...Wait a minute? How are these guys classified by the system right now? One is a Unique Monster, the other is a robot doll whose status as a 'person' is questionable. But then again, there are precedents like the Vorpal Bunnies such as Emul, and Cait Siths like Aramis.

Shall I... give it a little test?

"I see, I understand the situation... I know it's difficult to escape from here with just an individual's power. Normally, it wouldn't be strange for us to be killing each other... but if we can talk this out, there are options other than taking up arms. After all, I'm a man who is practically a walking bundle of chivalry...!"

"Then..."

"Yeah, why don't we fight together, Goldunine? At the very least, as long as you don't betray me, I won't betray you either...!!"

As a general rule, you can't send party invitations to NPCs; when partying with an NPC, you have to get them to send the party join request to you.
Formally, it's probably supposed to feel like the NPC is saying 'I'll lend you my power!' and agreeing, but...

• Do you want to add the Eighth Goldunine to your party? Yes / No

• Do you want to add [Elma=317] to your party? Yes / No

   

Bullseye! Kukuku, partying up with a Unique Monster... wait, hold on, wait a damn minute.
This wimp just dropped a completely unbelievable bombshell on me.

"The Eighth...?"

"There's only three of us."

"Shuuuu..."

"Ah, sorry Sammy-chan!"

Right, if we include Sammy-chan, that makes four... No it doesn't. Hey you, how many sisters do you have, you bastard.
The Eighth. The Eighth, you say...? Even if we include that Goldunine, doesn't that mean there are at least six more Goldunines out there? No wait, it's hard to imagine this Wimpy-nine was born just recently. In other words, if we include the Tsuchinoko-nine that evolved and immediately died underground, there are nine... no, there might be even more Goldunines...?

This is bad. Isn't this basically a straightforward world crisis scenario? If every single one of them is leading around Dragon-Serpents like that Goldunine, we're all going to die easily.
No, looking at this one, is that Goldunine the only special case? But Sammy-chan's sneak attack capabilities are stupidly high, you know... The True Gaze Bird Mask didn't even react until she showed herself.
Which means Sammy-chan's stealth capabilities surpass the visual corrections of my equipment.

"What's wrong?"

"...No? Nothing."

Also, don't just nonchalantly send me a party request while I'm distracted by the impact of 'Goldunine Number 8', you piece of junk.

I mean, I'll accept the request, but...

『NPC "The Eighth Goldunine" has joined the party.』
『You have fulfilled the conditions for a Unique Scenario EX.』
『Do you want to begin the Unique Scenario EX "My Endless Struggle"? Yes / No』

A massive bomber!!
The shock of me flipping over backward and slamming my head actually dealt a small amount of damage.

Author's Afterword
Customize your very own Goldunine and survive until you're the last one standing!!
By the way, if you just leave things alone, you'll be hunted down by Boss-dunine-chan and her stupidly strong Dragon-Serpents.

Doesn't Elma-san's character feel un-robot-like? Please go complain to the perverted dollmaker who blew himself up like Matsunaga Danjo Hisahide.