Chapter 390: Bakumatsu Suplex

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Even for rankers, death comes in an instant. If anything, the fact that I've survived this long is the far greater miracle.

"Now then... what to do."

Even though the sparks flew over to me as well, thanks to Seii Taishogun buying time, Tousen's leg managed to recover just in time.
Unfortunately, my arm was completely lopped off at the part, so unless I respawn, it's not coming back.

Having my arm severed halfway up the bicep makes my center of gravity unstable, but well, I can manage if I get used to it. Actually, it's quite a bit better than getting it chopped off right at the shoulder joint. Thanks for cultivating my sense of balance regarding missing limbs, Isolated Island; but I'm never forgiving that massive fucking owl until the end of time.

However, the situation is incredibly bad. With two rankers and two nicknamed players getting Divine Punishment'd, it seems all the players in the immediate vicinity chose to evacuate. I want to run away too, but running away from a boss is classically impossible.
Furthermore, this is the state I'm in after barely holding my own with dual-wielding. To be completely honest, my chances of winning are basically...

"...Heh."

Nah, this isn't the time to roleplay sinking into despair. There is a chance of winning. It's precisely because Raid Boss-san pulled out a ridiculous weapon like the Star-Severing Pole that a path to victory has revealed itself.
But can I pull it off? People tend to get distracted by its length, but its raw power is incomparable to a poorly-made greatsword. Just getting grazed by the tip is enough to send an arm flying; there's no need to even think about what would happen if it landed a clean hit.

"Oi, Hero! Sorry, but I'm gonna need you to tag along for a short decisive battle. Bet all your Money (Lives) on this!!"

"Sounds fun! I'll bet it all on the dice—Odd or Even!!"

Perfect. Now that's a Bakumatsu player.

Now that things have come to this, I couldn't care less about the rankings. If just the two of us (excluding the ones who died instantly) can actually make Raid Boss-san eat dirt, we'll gain glory worth far more than some first-place reward that won't even stay in our hands for a single night.

"Gonna do something?"

"Hah, Raid Boss-san... There's only one thing for us to do, right?"

Forward.
Leaking damage effects from my severed left arm, I push forward, forward. I have to somehow enter the Star-Severing Pole's effective range faster than the swinging death sentence───!!

"...Fun."

That smile is definitely him giving himself leeway to see what I'm going to do... meaning, he's holding back. But I won't get angry over that; if he's going to go easy on me, I'll exploit it for all it's worth.
Reaching the distance where blades can cross, I close the distance even further... and pull a single weapon from the menu window I had kept prepped for instant deployment.

The very next second, the Star-Severing Pole flashes. An impossibly light and smooth sound of slicing wind closes in on my neck.
My swung weapon is faster than Raid Boss-san's head... but my target isn't his main body... My target is the very blade threatening to slice me in half!!

"You're under arrest!!"

"Wa."

The sharp, satisfying sound of metal slamming into metal. Yet, the Star-Severing Pole doesn't budge. This isn't a clash of physical strength...

"A Jitte."

"That's right, the Great Jitte 'Great Roundup' (Ootorimono)... I've caught the Star-Severing Pole."

There wasn't even a need to call out; our minds were perfectly synced. The Jitte, shaped like a digital number '4', bit firmly into the blade of the Star-Severing Pole, and by applying a twist, I managed to halt Raid Boss-san's movement, even if only for a fraction of a second.
And naturally, refusing to miss that exact moment, Tousen readied his greatsword and instantly closed the distance.

"I'll cleave you both together!"

"Bring it on!"

Kh, I'm definitely losing the power struggle with only my right arm. But even so, I step in deeper and grab Raid Boss-san by the collar. With this, I've bought enough time for the Rank 2 to land a full-power, life-risking strike.

"Finish it, Hero!"

"Your life is forfeit..."

""Divine Punishment!!!""

Thinking back on it, maybe adversity is exactly what triggers Raid Boss-san's awakening. And by pushing him that far into a corner, we had essentially stepped on a tiger's tail.

"This is very, fun. So... I won't lose."

"Hohyu."

"Huh?"

Suddenly, Tousen collapsed. Was he cut? No, that's not it, the sword hasn't moved. Then why? No, no, it wasn't the sword. That posture with his leg extended high up... a high kick? The height of the foot perfectly matches Tousen's avatar... don't tell me,

"You kicked right through his jaw and inflicted Stun (Faint)!?"

"Fun, fun......... So, I won't lose."

Don't be ridiculous. It's true that the Faint status effect exists in this game... but it's not something you can trigger just by punching and kicking. It's something that only triggers from an impact equivalent to getting hit by a horse... No, wait, don't tell me he fulfilled the conditions by violently shaking only the head in a fraction of a second?

"R-Raid Boss...!!"

As if saying 'This is so much fun I can't help myself,' Raid Boss-san, his cheeks curled up in a massive grin, instantly circled around behind me and tightly grabbed my waist.
Faster than I could even resist or process what was happening, I felt a floating sensation. He wasn't just lifting me up, he was falling backward while holding me... wait, this is, stop... ah.

"Divine Punishment."

"Ba..."

"Doro..."

Bogyon! Honestly, I don't know what to call it. The closest analogy would be slamming two watermelons together so they annihilate each other in an explosive splatter...

""Pugyuru!?""

If I had to describe it, since he grabbed me by the waist, maybe a German Suplex? No, he added a twist to his body to ensure that Tousen's and my heads collided perfectly... So if I had to name it, a Bakumatsu Suplex?
Whatever the name of the move was, neither Tousen nor I were given a single second to react to an unexpected grapple before we were sunk into the Mat (Ground).
As for the Faint status effect, it seems it doesn't go so far as to forcefully sever your consciousness while logged in, so it feels much closer to Paralysis rather than actual Stun.

"D-Damn you..."

"Death poem."

"I'll win next time... Wash your neck and wait for me..."

"The real fight is after the event, Yura-kun..."

Eh, wait, a thrust? A thrust? Wait, aiming for the head? Eh, hold on, give me a second to brace mysel—

"Ebueh."

And with that, my event—skewered right alongside Tousen—came to an end.

"Ah! Greetings to my seniors who died before me, sup!!"

"Are you afflicted with some sort of disease where you physically cannot survive without provoking someone?"

Shut up. My gathered event weapons got scattered everywhere because I got killed by Raid Boss-san, so I'm in a slightly bad mood. Well, it's not like I carry all my event weapons around with me every single time, so it's only a portion of my inventory, but still.

"We got pretty far, though... Would we have won if we had about two more people?"

"I don't know about that... Wouldn't they just get Divine Punishment'd before you could even set up that situation? The basic strategy against Raid Boss-san is to crush him with sheer numbers, right?"

"What are we, honey bees?"

"Because even if we line up and attack him, we'll just get cut down like a conveyor belt on an assembly line..."

Having splendidly joined the ranks of the Wraiths, while I was noisily chatting and making a ruckus with the guys who had died before me, I noticed Raid Boss-san looking in our direction.

Yeeaaah! I waved my hand, and the other Wraiths present... wait, aren't there like a hundred of us now? With all the Wraiths completely filling the area waving their hands in unison, Raid Boss-san gave a single nod and broke into a sprint, carrying the Star-Severing Pole with him.

"What's going on?"

"Could it be that his tension got so high he's actually going to wipe out all the survivors..."

Ah.

Wraiths cannot touch the living. They cannot even convey their words... Because of that, all we could do was watch over the survivors as they were utterly trampled by Raid Boss-san, who rampaged like an absolute Kishin.........

"Anyone got more Manju?"

"Honestly, it's basically just weird-tasting water, but the booze is going down great."

"Oh, awesome, he got him with a wall-piercing strike."

Honestly, it was ridiculously fun.