Chapter 385: Collateral Sacrifice

◇

Ah, what a refreshing morning. After all, the morning after you realize the exact vision of the future you painted in your head... no, realize it in a form even more perfect than you imagined, is the absolute best. Even the morning sun streaming through the window feels like it's blessing me.

"Man oh man, to think I'd actually be able to take out two rankers in one go."

Ranked roughly 4th in Bakumatsu, 'A Thousand Needles,' aka "Plump Tungsten," and ranked roughly 3rd, 'The Only Sword,' aka "Metal Marshmallow"... These two players are so ridiculously contrasting it feels like fate, rankers who engage in such fierce combat it's as if their destinies demand they fight. To think I actually managed to execute these two who basically end up in a Divine Punishment deathmatch the moment they meet... Is this what they call Giant Killing?

Honestly, I'm absolutely terrified to log into Bakumatsu next. Even though it was the result of a chain of coincidences, having stolen the scores of two rankers exactly as they were, I've now skyrocketed to the number one spot in the event rankings. In Bakumatsu, where even relentlessly spamming my highly efficient spawn-kill strat only got me up to 5th place at best, mind you.
In other words, I can safely assume that I'm no longer considered a random mob, but have been completely locked onto by the rankers as a target that absolutely must be executed. Putting aside "Blizzard Hunter"—or rather, Mr. Seii Taishogun—whose targeting is unavoidable anyway, being targeted by the immovable Rank 1, "Raid Boss-san," is rather fatal... Honestly, within the engine of Bakumatsu, I can't picture a single scenario where I win against that guy. Challenging Wethermon to a 1v1 honestly feels like it has better odds of victory...

"If I could somehow get Rank 2 on my side... No, that won't work, there's no reason to ignore a bag bursting with gold coins."

The strongest player in Bakumatsu, a player so utterly beyond the pale that they weren't given a fancy nickname but simply referred to by the completely unceremonious moniker "Raid Boss," and the only player capable of matching them in a 1v1... The Rank 2 of Bakumatsu, "Our Hero." If I could skillfully pit that guy against Rank 1... Nah, impossible, Raid Boss-san is just too strong.

"...Ah, but as long as we fight using only our bodies and our swords, a bloodless victory is simply impossible."

An unexpected Giant Killing—there was no way it was going to be completely risk-free. It was precisely because of a noble sacrifice that I was able to grasp glory far beyond my station.........

【Wolfgang】

Kyougoku: WHERE IS SUNRAKU!!!!!!!!!!!

Kyougoku: WHERE IS!!!!!!!

Kyougoku: THAT SHITBAG!!!!!!!

Kyougoku: SUNRAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!

Pencil Knight King: Wow, what a raging storm.

OiKatzo: What's going on, what's going on.

Kyougoku: I WILL ABSOLUTELY NEVER FORGIVE THAT BASTARD!!!!!!

Kyougoku: GIVE ME BACK MY TRUST!!!!!!!

Sunraku: Most exquisitely amusing.

Kyougoku: YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Sunraku: How foolish of you, Kyou-timate......... It seems you still haven't grasped just how incredibly idiotic it is to turn your back on someone in Bakumatsu...

Pencil Knight King: Ah (Understood).

Rust: What do you mean?

OiKatzo: You're in the middle of an event, right? What did you do?

Sunraku: I conspired with the Wraiths, thoroughly completely deceived Kyougoku into jumping right into the middle of a massive monster battle royale, and then dropped a whole bunch of powder kegs and oil pots on them, blowing up the entire tenement district and everyone in it.

Pencil Knight King: What are you, an ogre?

Sunraku: As a result of acquiring the points of two whole rankers, I am currently running completely unopposed in first place.

OiKatzo: Seriously? Reaching the top spot in that demon realm, even if it's just a momentary burst of wind, is pretty insane, isn't it?

Sunraku: Yeah, but now I'm being targeted by the Raid Boss (A Player) and the Hero (Baring his fangs at me)...

OiKatzo: Ahh...

Rust: What game is this?

Sunraku: Crossroads Killing Capriccio: Online.

Mold: From what I looked up, it seems like a relatively normal, almost heartwarming game, though...

Pencil Knight King: That's camouflage, the true nature of Bakumatsu is a hellscape where only psychopaths can survive.

OiKatzo: That's not entirely wrong.

Sunraku: That's slightly inaccurate, it's just that your thought processes are rewritten to Bakumatsu specifications.

Pencil Knight King: Isn't personality corruption worse than brainwashing~?

Kyougoku: I'm seriously never going to forgive you! I'll haunt your descendants to the end of time!!!!

Sunraku: ↑ Right here, we have a patient whose Bakumatsu corruption has progressed from 50% to 70%.

OiKatzo: ↑ And right here, we have a terminal patient whose Bakumatsu corruption has exceeded 100%, currently camouflaging themselves as a sane person on the surface.

Sunraku: Don't be an idiot, a patient exceeding 100% Bakumatsu corruption is far more insane than me.

Rust: I'm actually getting interested now.

Sunraku: By the way, the very first thing a beginner experiences is getting completely ignored by the tutorial and ambushed by veteran players attempting to PK and spawn-kill them.

Mold: .........?

Pencil Knight King: It's basically a feeling where morals have done a full lap around the end of the century and plunged right back into another end of the century. [*1]

Pencil Knight King: It's so troublesome because literally none of them are capable of having a normal, refreshing conversation.

Kyougoku: Next time I see you, I'm absolutely delivering Divine Punishment......... I'll hack you to pieces with Divine Punishment...!

Kyougoku: You better be prepared............

Sunraku: Question: State an expression appropriate for the current situation.

OiKatzo: Dead men tell no tales.

Pencil Knight King: The howling of a beaten dog.

Rust: The living should not be troubled by the dead.

Mold: A-A blessing in disguise, maybe...

Sunraku: The correct answer is "Not knowing when to give up."

Sunraku: I honestly can't understand what this ghost is saying...

Sunraku: Hurry up and pass on already...

Kyougoku: Kuoooooooohhhhhhhhhh.........!!!!

Pencil Knight King: Just looking at the text makes it look like an evil spirit exorcism scene, which is kinda funny.

Oyoyo... Seems like she really hates me now. Well, I did sweet-talk the Wraiths by telling them "I'll show you a Giant Killing!", disbanded the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons, and then completely deceived Kyou-timate by saying "Those guys are total pushovers, go farm some points," sending her right into the middle of the clash between Rank 3 and Rank 4. And then, I dropped the gunpowder barrels that the devs had clearly placed in the house of the NPC fireworks maker right in the middle of town for this exact purpose, blowing them all up together...

But the Heavens told me to do it! So I'm not in the wrong, and even assuming the small spark I flicked was the cause of a 25-meter square tenement district getting blown to smithereens, it's just an unfortunate accident, so I want her to believe in the hope of tomorrow and do her best. Besides, things explode periodically in the Bakumatsu world anyway... Who puts a fireworks maker's warehouse right in the middle of a castle town? No matter how you look at it, that's a design flaw.

Well, it's also a place where you can replenish matchlock gunpowder for free, so it acts as both a massive explosion facility and a resource drop area—like an oil rig—making it the frontline where gun-main players wage fierce battles daily to secure gunpowder... And the daily seasonal tradition of Bakumatsu is for a stray bullet to ignite the whole thing, ending the scene in an explosion.
When things get really bad, you repeat the cycle of Explosion Ending -> Respawn -> Similar Explosion Ending in a different location, resulting in you screaming "Tamaya! Kagiya!" on the ground multiple times a day. Since it's technically a fireworks maker's gunpowder storage, the explosions are actually pretty colorful... Though honestly, watching the players get sent flying is way more fun.

"Alright, then."

I originally intended to just have a bit of fun and then go back to Epic of President Legend, but since things have come to this, I might as well take it as far as I can. The flame of my life will probably be snuffed out by today or tomorrow, but rather than continuously logging out like an unexploded bomb, I might as well go completely berserk and vanish in a brilliant, spectacular flash, just like a firework.

The moment I logged in, while purging the Shinsengumi aiming for a login-bonus Divine Punishment in accordance with squad regulations, I felt a deadpan, half-lidded stare piercing me.

"Oh, if it isn't Kyou-timate, absolutely dripping with lingering attachments! Sup!!"

"............!!"

I've been possessed by an evil spirit pointing a thumbs down at me in total silence. Is there an exorcist around here somewhere.........?

I looked for one and there actually was one. Honestly, I deeply regret not recording the sight of Kyou-timate getting blown away as if she had just taken the maximum setting of an industrial fan straight to the face.

Author's Afterword
A gag character named Kyougoku who, despite being completely deceived, flexed with all her might to interrupt a duel between rankers, got launched into the air by a colorful explosion, turned into a Wraith screaming "Will I let this grudge go unavenged!", and was immediately, instantly exorcised. Why did it turn out like this? Because it's Bakumatsu...

By the way, since Wraith avatars also respawn normally, it seems she managed to re-acquire the target and possess him again five minutes later, with the two rankers tagging along right beside her.

Since I've been asked quite a bit, here is an explanation of the Sharks in the Fishbowl, aka the Bakumatsu Rankers.

Rank 1: Raid Boss
The strongest Bakumatsu player. A Raid Monster (Player) who grasps every single bug and game mechanic and swings their sword purely for the sake of victory. While normally a fluffy, airheaded type, their slaughter switch triggers on pure RNG, so they will suddenly attack without any warning whatsoever. The sight of them intercepting and annihilating a massive mob while smiling with wide-open, dilated pupils is absolute horror.

Rank 2: Our Hero
The second-strongest Bakumatsu player. When attempting to mob the Raid Boss, if this person isn't there, even 100-man squads have been intercepted and annihilated, so before anyone realized it, he had been hoisted up as a Hero. That being said, he's still a Bakumatsu player, so if you encounter him, there's a high probability he'll just attack you.

Rank 3: The Only Sword
A player who imposes the restriction of "I will only use a single sword until I die and respawn" upon himself. Conversely, since that's his only restriction, he will absolutely launch surprise attacks, or just casually throw his one sword. If it breaks, he'll just come at you barehanded. He's surprisingly free-spirited for someone doing a challenge run.

Rank 4: A Thousand Needles
A self-proclaimed "Never lost at darts" player who accurately pierces vitals by throwing massive amounts of needles. He uses a dango shop as his base, and if you let your guard down, skewers will come flying at both your eyes. However, due to item limits, he actually only carries 99 needles. The remaining 901 are locally sourced from the dango shop...!!

Rank 5: Grenade (Crimson Lotus Tranquil Earth)
A Bakumatsu-Dynamite-Player who places fireworks on a hoe and launches them like a catapult. Alongside "Sword Rain," he's the primary cause for the Bakumatsu weather forecast being completely deranged. He also quietly holds the title of "Most Experienced with Explosion Endings," but if anyone points that out, only their weather forecast becomes "All-Day Fireworks." Anyone who blows up his gunpowder base gets their weather forecast permanently set to fireworks for a whole week.

Rank 6: That Guy (Pointing Upward)
An extremely rare case of a player whose nickname (?) comes bundled with the gesture of pointing upward. This is because he uses a bow—a rarity in Bakumatsu—and snipes people via surprise attacks from high places, meaning his aggro is exceptionally high compared to the rest. However, because he is a master of defending his foothold (base), the difficulty of subjugating him is incredibly high. By the way, Grenade, who just blows up the foothold itself, is his natural enemy.

Rank 7: Dullahan
Basically a Westerner at this point. His actual skill is perfectly suitable for a ranker, but he doesn't have any specifically notable traits. His most prominent feature, however, is that he directs all his passion for Divine Punishment strictly at NPCs, making him a specialist in raiding pawnshops. Because he destroys pawnshops—which are otherwise absolute safe zones for item storage—and scatters the deposited items everywhere, his popularity and his aggro are a perfect 50/50 split. The origin of his name? Because he failed a Shogun Divine Punishment and basically got beheaded. Is your head detachable, bro?

Rank 8: Blizzard Hunter
A player burning with the flames of obsession to obtain a certain weapon held by a certain player. While his topknot gives him a somewhat gag-like appearance, his skill—having successfully orchestrated the assassination of "Our Hero" and "A Thousand Needles"—is highly regarded, and his handling of the Oodachi boasts orthodox strength among the many eccentric rankers. He quietly causes players strong in history to wince and go "Jigen... Shinsengumi... hmmm."

Rank 9: Mad Dog, Inverse Half-Naked
A ball of fighting spirit who aggressively picks fights with higher-ranked players, who also happens to be a massive pervert equipped with armor and a helmet on his upper body, a fundoshi on his lower body, and wielding a hammer. Since he's a ranker, he's obviously strong against lower-ranked players, but conversely, the higher-ranked players are far greater monsters, so he usually just gets beaten to a pulp by the Raid Boss early in events and fails to earn any scores. In this event, having learned to "Value Your Life," 8th Place basically fell right into his lap, so he's quite happy.

Rank 10: The Victim of Upsets
Destined to be underestimated with remarks like "10th place isn't that big a deal lol" in literally any industry, this player bears the sorrow of being the very first target for players ranked 11th and below. That being said, he intercepts every single one of them, making him genuinely strong as a ranker, but he's a warrior of sorrow who is almost guaranteed to be relentlessly harassed by lower-ranked players during events, leaving him zero free time to aim higher. As a result, he shows absolutely zero mercy to attacking enemies, filleting them into three pieces.

Translator's Note

• [1] End of the century: Means post-apocalyptic wasteland. Fist of the North Star reference.