Chapter 363: You can't build doors on people's mouths

"U-Um, you are..."

"Ah, this is the first time you've seen me in this form. It is I, Your Highness. It's Sunraku."

"Oh my!"

Instantly putting on the mask of a refined lady to roleplay. Hey, stop recording a video while grinning like an idiot! I'll hand down divine punishment on you later!!

"Umm... Well, were you actually a woman this entire time?"

"No, my original form is male. Well... through various circumstances, I acquired a method to change my gender."

"Hey, Sunraku-kuuuun, I'm super duper curious about that, so I'd absolutely love it if you told meeee..."

"Shut up! (Full-power coaxing cat voice)"

"Ugh, uhehe... falling in love for real is practically unavoidable at this poiiiint..."

Since keeping the Ctarrnid stuff a secret became a pain, I basically outsourced all of it to Pencilgon. If you want to change your gender, go cannibalize each other with that fiend.

"I am glad to see you safe, Your Majesty. Things got a little complicated on our end as well... but yes, we managed somehow."

"Umu, I see... To see someone who was a man until just moments ago speaking as a woman is quite a bizarre experience, I must say... But well done on making it back safely."

Well, I did actually die once, but I'll keep that part to myself.
That being said, getting distracted by a Raid Battle—which was essentially just an incredibly intense Detour—and screwing up the main objective as a result would defeat the entire purpose. Honestly, I'd love to log out and get some sleep right now... Or rather, this is actually perfect. Let's just take a break. Let's do that.

"So, we're taking a break."

"...? .........???"

"Come on, at least read my intentions here."

"Well, you definitely have been logged in for quite a long time, haven't youuu."

"Hey, don't read my Mind (Intentions). That's an invasion of privacy..."

"I just wanted to know the model answer, you knooow..."

The answers to problems involving human relationships usually change as time passes. Reality is cruel like that.
And so, we ended up taking about an hour-long break, logging out at the instant save point the Forest-folks hurriedly constructed.........

【Wolfgang】

Pencil Knight King: Ah〜, this is my final warning. Be a good boy and confess exactly what you just did〜.

OiKatzo: Confess〜.

Pencil Knight King: Otherwise, we'll have no choice but to resort to direct punitive measures〜.

Akitsu Akane: Measuresー!!

Rust: Such as?

Pencil Knight King: Unleashing zombies corrupted by Bakumatsu.

Kyougoku: Weeeeelcooooooome...

Sunraku: A pseudo-samurai who can't even handle being PK'd the moment they log in is spouting nonsense.

Kyougoku: Huh?

Sunraku: Wait, did an announcement seriously get broadcasted to all players?

Pencil Knight King: All riiiight, so you confessed on your ooooown???

OiKatzo: Your lips are way too loose... Do you drink helium on a daily basis or something?

Sunraku: Care to share your opinion After you actually trigger a Unique on your own? (High pitch)

OiKatzo: It's frustrating, but that actually made me chuckle a bit.

Rust: If Mold was awake, he definitely would have been completely useless for at least half a day. That was close.

Pencil Knight King: But seriously, it really was youー, it's youー, you bastardー... Haa, Library is going to be so annoying to deal with.

Sunraku: No, wait. I'm actually not at fault this time.

Sunraku: Let me state clearly that I am completely and utterly a victim who got dragged into this.

OiKatzo: That's rich coming from someone with the ecology of a black hole who drags some kind of massive event into everything he does.

Sunraku: Isn't it sad living a satellite life, constantly piggybacking off Uniques triggered by other people...?

OiKatzo: Alright, get your ass to Benpi right now. I'm going to beat the crap out of you.

Sunraku: Bring it on. Bug Tudo, right?

Pencil Knight King: Alright, stop trying to naturally schedule a fight in the middle of a conversation.

Pencil Knight King: So, how was it?

Sunraku: What do you mean, how was it?

Pencil Knight King: Since it's a Raid Monster, its behavioral patterns can be recycled.

Pencil Knight King: If we leak it to Library, we can generate a massive flow of cash, you knooow...

Sunraku: I wonder about that. Even if the general flow is the same, the main body's motions will probably be completely different...

Rust: Constipation...?

Sunraku: Either way, you'd absolutely need around thirty people for this.

OiKatzo: Pretty bold words from the guy who cleared it with just three people...

Sunraku: Hey, we had a massive number of NPCs and monsters helping us this time, you know?

Sunraku: It only says three people on paper.

Akitsu Akane: I still think that's amazing!

Pencil Knight King: By the way, who did you party up with this time? Do I have to do some recruitment work again?

Sunraku: .........

Sunraku: ...Nah, no need to recruit them.

Sunraku: Yeah.

Sunraku: For the sake of your mental health.

OiKatzo: Someone you know?

Sunraku: Less 'someone I know' and more like it's a bit more twisted than that.

Sunraku: Basically the mastermind behind the "SpellCre Incident"...

OiKatzo: A walking disaster, huh? Actually, an incredibly massive walking disaster.

Rust: Just looked it up. The mastermind behind this?

Pencil Knight King: For the record, Sunraku-kun, who's acting like a total victim right now, was on the Resistance side during that incident.

Sunraku: Yaaaaay, I was directly involved.

Sunraku: The other guy is someone named Tottori the Shimane.

OiKatzo: The SpellCre Incident... A lot of games tightened their regulations after that one.

Pencil Knight King: Let's focus on ShanFro for now.

Pencil Knight King: It looks like I'll be able to join up with you guys soon, so can we all gather on the ShanFro side for a bit?

Psyger-0: Specifically, when?

Sunraku: I wanna sleep, so tomorrow night maybe...

Sunraku: Ah, Rei-shi, hello.

Psyger-0: Good evening.

Akitsu Akane: Tomorrow night works for me!

Kyougoku: It's almost event season... Come back to Bakumatsu... Ah, night should be fine for me too.

Rust: Night... Yeah, should be manageable.

Pencil Knight King: Alright, then it's decided!

Pencil Knight King: The interrogation is unavoidable, so be prepared for it.

Sunraku: Ehー.

OiKatzo: Don't you "Ehー" me.

"Ehー..."

What a drag... Actually, even before the guaranteed interrogation, my body just feels incredibly Heavy (Sluggish). That being said, if I let this level of lethargy defeat me, I wouldn't be able to play games at all. I really should sharpen myself up right about now.

"Fufufufufu... If you want a proper fix, Japanese-made is the only way to go."

Because the effect is relatively mild, it wakes me up just the right amount, meaning I'll be able to sleep soundly later... Ahh, the energy drink is seeping into my very soulー...

"Alright, I'm awake."

Still, I'm feeling a bit peckish, so I should probably put something in my stomach before logging back in.
After that, I borrowed a little bit of the liver and chives chilling in the fridge to satisfy my hunger before finally logging back in... Perhaps I was a bit more eager than I realized, because I completely failed to notice the new email that had arrived in my inbox.

"Hmm... Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to just die once and refresh...?"

As long as I operate under the assumption that this is just how it is, it doesn't bother me during combat. But during downtime, having a chest that gets heavily affected by centrifugal force on this torso is definitely distracting.

"Even if it's just the shape of an avatar, it's really getting in the way..."

"If it's in the way, at least let me give it a squeeze!"

"Evil spirit, begone!"

"L-Liver...!"

I just chugged an energy drink, you know. My sharpness is completely different from before. Completely different.

"Even between the same sex, a harassment penalty will trigger. If anything, this is a fist of mercy, you know?"

"For this sort of thing, wouldn't a direct straight punch to the navel instead of the flank provide a much more immoral kind of pleasure? Ahh! Aaaaah! Stop grinding your knuckles into my templeee!!"

You barely have any muscles, yet your nervous system is fully developed, so yeah, the head is generally a weak point. Being one-shot by a headshot is a completely logical effect.

"Well, putting that aside, it looks like the Forest-folks actually plan to return to this place..."

"I mean, they call it their homeland, so it's not entirely unnatural... but seriously, what is this?"

"I guess this is what happens unless you have a top-tier construction class."

I can confidently declare that the Forest-folks' construction techniques are incredible. The fact that they can build a save point using just a few tree branches and some leaves makes it practically a given.
However, conversely, if it's fast and cheap, the final result is inevitably going to be Fragile.

After all, even the tsundere who is clearly the highest-ranking among them... ah, umm, the one with a name like Umeshu... well whatever, even Umeshu-san is highly skilled in survival. From the very beginning, they are completely accustomed to abandoning their homes.
So, what am I trying to say? From the perspective of us Japanese players—who are so accustomed to disasters that we don't even flinch at a minor earthquake or typhoon—this looks like nothing more than Make-believe reconstruction that makes you want to ask if they're completely mocking the concept of architecture.

"Plugging a hole in the wall with some leaves and calling it reconstructed... this doesn't even qualify as first aid..."

"What if we reverse it and stick leaves on the undamaged walls too, so they don't know where the arrows are coming from?"

"RNG is no good. Even if it's a 10% chance, if a single hit guarantees a win, then it's just pure trash."

Especially passive RNG; you really shouldn't rely on that. Entrusting the judgment of victory or defeat to something other than yourself makes the blood rush to your head way faster than you'd expect.

"I'm ba— what is with this completely abnormal communication?"

"Oh, you can tell!? You see, we actually have a totally abnormal relationship!!"

"Should I crank up the Vibes (Output)?"

"Ngyaaaaaah!!?"

Split... split... skull, just split already... There we go, grind grind.

Author's Afterword
The sight of them continuing a conversation while constantly grinding his knuckles into her head (and being ground into) looks utterly abnormal and immoral no matter how you slice it.

By the way, it actually doesn't even hurt that much, but intentionally giving an incredibly convincing overreaction is just DeepThro quality.