Chapter 165: Glowing Pervert, Laughing Scumbag, Struggling Vanguard

『H-Here! Become a shield for my sake!』

『Hey, hey, even for a roleplay match, isn't this taking it too far...?!』

On the giant screen, Yggdrya completely ensnared an old man and a toddler with her tentacles, hoisting them up as a makeshift meat shield in front of Dr. Sandalphon.

It seemed that "Babel" thing didn't support external spectator feeds, so the large monitor set to the Japanese viewing mode was actively generating real-time subtitles for Lucas's lines. No, wait, isn't that still insane tech?

"I can still sense some shame in her. 60 points."

"Taking a toddler and an old man hostage gets bonus points, though. 75 points."

『U-Um...』

As I handed out harsh criticisms on Natsume-shi's verbal delivery and Pencilgon gave high marks for her in-game atrocities while she actively stalled for time, the commentator... Sasakama Knight, was it? She approached us looking absolutely terrified.

『Um, would it be alright to get a quick interview?』

"Eh? Ah..."

"Go right ahead! This mysterious helper (the beautiful one) will answer anything she knows!"

At this point, her utter lack of hesitation makes me genuinely respect her. Snatching the microphone pointed at me and yanking it toward herself, Pencilgon replied with a radiant, bubbly tone.

That said, both Pencilgon and I had our voice changers flipped on, so the actual noises coming out of us were entirely indescribable.

『Erm, in that case... Why exactly is Natsume executing such a, well, atrocious playstyle?』

"Fufufu, that is because... we are absolutely certain that this specific playstyle is the correct strategy in Galaxia Heroes: Chaos!"

『Meaning...?』

"In this game, you have a gauge... essentially the Super Meter found in standard fighting games. However, it isn't solely filled by simple punching, kicking, or taking damage—"

While Pencilgon showed off a rapid-fire silver tongue so smooth it was impossible to tell who the actual MC of the event was anymore, I found myself with absolutely nothing to do. So, I started messing around with the gimmicks built into my cosplay helmet.

I mean, I was properly watching Natsume-shi and Lucas's match, but I was still bored out of my mind.

This pumpkin helmet had a weirdly intricate design. By pressing a button on the nape of the neck, the face mask would slide open. Though, the top half covering most of my face was physically locked in place, so only the mouth section from the nose down actually moved.

There was probably some deep lore or character design reason behind this, but to me, my only thought was, "Oh, I can eat stuff without taking the helmet off."

Kashan, kashan, kacha, PIKAAA!

"Nnfuu!!"

I was just opening and closing the mouth part, but my hand slipped and hit the button right next to it... the power switch for the LED lights embedded all over the helmet. To anyone watching, it must have been a highly bizarre spectacle—a pumpkin opening and shutting its mouth before suddenly erupting into blinding light.

And right on cue, someone who had stared directly at the whole thing failed to hold back their laughter and spat everywhere. Just who was...

"Pff, kh, fufufufu..."

It was you.

While feeling somewhat exasperated at the sight of Sylvia Goldberg keeping her head down and shaking violently to suppress her giggles... suddenly, the devil whispered in my ear.

Rustle rustle (Pulls out the energy drink forcefully stuffed into my holster)

Pshht (Opens it)

Sluuuurp... (Inserts a straw and chugs the energy drink)

PIKAAA! (Emits blinding light)

"Puhyu!!"

"...Bwah?!"

This time I snagged the Black Macho too. The White Macho seemed to be looking for someone and kept tilting his head toward the audience stands, so unfortunately, I couldn't reel him in. Sylvia Goldberg was now vibrating so hard it looked like a seizure, while the Black Macho was openly busting a gut... uh, what was his name, Johnson[*1]?

I suppose this could also be considered a type of out-of-bounds psychological warfare. I mean, what does making them laugh actually accomplish here...? Ugh, the camera is zooming in on me. Do I have to say something now?

".........It works great."

Left with no other choice, I positioned the energy drink so the label was perfectly visible to the camera and threw up a fist pump.

"What are you even doing?"

"Contributing to their sales? I want them to start selling these in Japan ASAP."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever... Look, the situation shifted."

"Oh, you're right."

Looking up, the giant screen showed Yggdrya backed into a corner playing defense after losing her hostages, while Dr. Sandalphon, now completely free of his meat shields, had completely flipped to the offensive with zero hesitation.

"Think she's gonna drop the round?"

"Hard to say. He just burned some meter to free the hostages earlier. It basically comes down to whether Natsume-chan wants to carry her meter over or burn it right here."

A tough call. Spewing all your meter in the very first round basically guarantees you'll be at a massive disadvantage in the subsequent rounds. But the huge advantage of taking the first round is absolutely worth pushing yourself for.

If it were me, I'd go for the round win without a second thought. If it were Pencilgon, she'd likely conserve meter. And for Natsume-shi, whose playstyle closely mirrors Katzo's...

"She burned her meter."

"If she just scrapes by in the next round, she'll have a solid shot at winning in round 3. But I wonder how it'll actually play out..."

Smashing the earth, thorns meant to entangle pitiful victims heavily chunked Dr. Sandalphon's health bar. She strung that directly into a combo and... Knockout. Round 1 went to Natsume-shi. After a few seconds of loading, Round 2 kicked off.

"Honestly, ain't it looking rough?"

"Right~... If it were me, I'd have tossed the first round and swept rounds 2 and 3."

Stealing the hostages back was one thing, but as time passed, it looked like Lucas was fully adapting to Natsume-shi's frames and movement. Even if the hostage strat itself was effective, the moment the player's habits get read, the advantage completely flips.

And the biggest issue was that, prior to her shame, you could clearly see her hesitation shining through. Well, sure, even if they're just NPCs, people who can use humans as meat shields with a straight face are a rare minority. I'm not blaming her for hesitating, but her opponent wasn't naive enough to let half-assed conviction go unpunished.

『Aaah! Natsume goes for the hostage strat once again, but takes a brutal sneak attack from behind!!』

"Yikes... She gave him a weird amount of meter in the last round, so now he's completely ignoring his meter-building and just spamming surprise attacks."

"Plus they got totally screwed by spawning right next to each other. I'm telling you, RNG is pure evil."

Forced to drop her hostages due to the ambush, she immediately turned into a punching bag. She wasn't just getting completely overpowered—she was throwing out counterattacks—but even an amateur could tell who had the upper hand. If you asked the crowd, almost everyone would point to the exact same person.

"Ah, she's running."

"You could call it diligent, or maybe just overly honest... she's trying to stall for time."

Sasakamaboko-san was currently heading over to the Star Rain side for interviews. Without the risk of a hot mic picking us up, we openly bantered while watching Yggdrya drag herself through the back alleys, desperately planting her seed traps as she ran away.

The audience was booing her pathetic display, but... whatever, who cares. If we secure the win at the end of the day, all that trash-talk just becomes the howling of sore losers.

"Looks like she gave up on winning this round. She swapped entirely to meter-farming."

"Whoa, a police car just went flying."

The Villainic Gauge increases when you perform villainous actions. That obviously means fighting Heroes, but terrorizing innocent civilians also builds meter.

Destroying the cityscape also counted as a valid method for meter-farming. Yggdrya just kept up her rampage until Dr. Sandalphon finally caught up and deleted the rest of her health bar.

"I knew it, it really looks like the meter-building conditions are uniquely tuned for each character."

Because nearly all the characters Star Rain mained were Heroes, we were basically forced to exclusively practice with Villains, which let us spot these hidden mechanics.

Take Yggdrya, for example. Rather than just breaking buildings, directly harming NPCs filled her gauge way faster. Going even further, you got vastly more meter for using them as scapegoats or meat shields to protect yourself rather than just blindly attacking them. And to top it off, relentlessly bullying defenseless NPCs built meter even... Who the hell would actually want to play like this? Oh wait, she's standing right next to me.

"Whether or not you're willing to commit war crimes just to optimize your character's performance... Talk about a roster that filters its player base."

"Being perfectly lore-accurate has its drawbacks, huh. They'll probably patch and nerf it eventually, won't they?"

If you were playing a martial artist Villain, you could just pick fights with Heroes head-on. But for a character like Yggdrya who thrives on being a cowardly scumbag, this system was bound to cause a ton of problems.

"Alright, it's the final round. I wonder how far Natsume-chan will push herself for us?"

"You look like you're having way too much fun."

"I just love watching people dance to my instructions."

"You're a natural-born tyrant..."

Author's Afterword
Hang in there, Natsume-chan! You're starting to give off the exact same aura as Heroine-chan, but keep fighting!!

Translator's Notes

• *[1] Johnson: The raw text ironically pairs the Kanji for "Married Man" (Saitaisha) with the Ruby reading "Johnson".