Chapter 162: An Out-of-Season Pumpkin and a Female Knight Who Doesn't Say "Kuh, Kill Me!"[*1]

"............Well then, I'm off."

The time is 7:00 AM. Since the RwH6 World Tournament starts earlier than ours, Katzo is dropping out of the group to head over there first. Looking like he desperately wanted to say something... but frantically swallowing those words to barely keep them bottled up inside, Katzo tosses a can of energy drink my way.

"They're the ones forcing this ridiculous situation on me in the first place, so I made them pull some strings for this much at least."

"Pulling strings just for a single energy drink... wait, hey, is this..."

"It's the new release from that maker. Made in the USA, obviously."

Whoa, whoa, I'd heard the rumors, but to actually procure the real deal... not bad, Katzo. As I stare at the English-labeled energy drink with an attitude of absolute dread, Pencilgon, who clearly doesn't get the hype, furrows her brow and asks us a question.

"What's the difference between that and a Japanese one?"

"If a Japanese one just gives you a caffeine buzz, a single can of this stuff gets you absolutely fried out of your mind."[*2]

"...It's legal, right?"

"The consumers are a bit worried about that too, but supposedly there's nothing in there that actually violates the law."

"'Riot Blood: Tonight', released exactly one week ago... Seriously, pulling the actual physical item, you rock Katzo."

It's a monster of an energy drink that sent shockwaves through hundreds of millions of energy drink junkies worldwide, boasting a tagline of "Drink this and you won't sleep for two days"—which makes you seriously question if they even intend to sell it legally. Honestly, it makes you want to groan at the pun between "Tonight" and "Two-Nights",[*3] but the instant brain-frying capability is undeniably top tier. In our current situation of challenging pro gamers, there's no better stat booster than this.

"I brought enough for everyone, by the way."

"I feel like it's going to strip away my skin's complexion along with my drowsiness, so I think I'll just stick to a normal one~."

"I-I suppose I'll take one..."

I think I'll save this to drink for a bit later. It feels like a waste, somehow. With a clack, I close the mask that was popped open and forcibly cram the energy drink into a holster. Katzo stares at me doing this with an extreeeeeeeeeemely expressive look that screams he wants to say something, but deciding that anything he says would just be a waste of breath, he gives a dismissive wave, hops into a taxi, and heads off toward the venue.

"Seriously, if he has something to say, he should just say it clearly."

"So true. You're absolutely right."

"He didn't say anything out loud, but it looked to me like his eyes were screaming his entire life story...?"

"Natsume-chan, in our hood, if you don't speak up, it doesn't count."[*4]

No matter how much your eyes do the talking, if you don't actually say it, it's not a problem. Open your mouth and speak your piece—that's exactly why we constantly trash talk each other! If you stay quiet, the others will just advance the plot without you!!

Amidst the quiet, humming mechanical drive noises of Vzzzzz..., Pencilgon, Natsume-shi, and I maintain a moment of silence after seeing Katzo off. For me and Pencilgon, it's a waiting silence that says "If you have something to say, go right ahead," while Natsume-shi mumbles and twitches her mouth... but never quite manages to actually open it.

"I guess it'd be pretty tough to prepare an extra costume right now~."

"I! Am not! Wearing one!!"

Is that so. Clack, clack... Vrrrnn.

"Hey there, Pencilgon-san. Time for a pop quiz."

"Alright, bring it on. My gray brain cells are going to shine golden."

"Aren't they already golden... whatever. Here is the question: What do you think the people around us currently think we are?"

"A fun-loving cosplay group."

"Ahahaha, at least make a joke out of it, you bastard."

"Ah, could you aim the gun this way over here~?"

"Look, look, you've got an order coming in~! As a cosplayer, you have to respond properly. Yes, yes, if you want a low angle you need to shift more to the right~!"

About an hour after Katzo entered the venue, we also headed out. We headed out, but because of the outfits we were wearing, a convention attendee holding a camera asked, "Can I take a picture?"—and that was the end of our luck. For the past ten-plus minutes I've been aiming a gun, striking poses I don't even understand... What the hell am I even doing?

Or rather, because a certain idiot enthusiastically agreed to the photo shoot, I got dragged into the collateral damage. Through my helmet, I shoot a resentful glare at the "Female Knight" striking a pose next to me, but the masked fiend brushes off my gaze like it's nothing but the wind.

(If I remember right... what was it again? I feel like I've seen it somewhere, but what game was this character from...?)

This is when the price of my unbalanced gaming diet really hurts. I've definitely seen the character I'm currently dressed as, and the character Pencilgon is dressed as, but I can't for the life of me remember what games they're from.[*5] I can at least tell that hers is from the fantasy genre and mine is from the sci-fi genre... an FPS-related character, most likely.

".........So, how long are we going to keep doing this photo op?"

"Hm~? Well, you know, my profession gives me a natural disposition to happily agree to photoshoots, silly me. Sorry, everyone~! We have somewhere to be, so this photo session is officially wrapped up~!!"

The fact that she can just clearly and bluntly cut things off like that... is it a strength born from her career as a model who constantly bathes in the public eye? Even though my face is completely hidden, having countless photos taken of myself is a first for me, so I guess you could call it a valuable experience, but personally, I'd really rather not do this again.

"Nfufu~, how was it, Sunraku-kun? You're about to play a game while being watched by a global audience, so I figured I'd use this photoshoot as a dress rehearsal. Think you can maintain your performance?"

".........Were you aiming for the phenomenon where a delinquent picking up a stray cat suddenly makes them look like a good guy?! You scheming bastard...!"

"Hu〜h? I totally did that out of the goodness of my heart though〜...?"

Good intentions don't always lead to good results, and when someone who constantly achieves good results through malice claims it's goodwill, it makes you suspect them even more. Which means...

"It's a reflection of your daily behavior."

"Let's lay off the dead-center logical arguments, okay? I can't talk back to that."

By the way, Natsume-shi quickly bolted to the GGC venue... that space at the international exhibition hall currently painted entirely in the colors of gaming. I question her morality as a human being for abandoning us, but unfortunately, I have to admit that running away is the 100-point perfect countermeasure for dealing with the two of us.

"Well then, shall we go, Mr. Pumpkin?"

"Hey, aren't people going to tell me this is totally out of season?"

"Seasons have absolutely nothing to do with cosplay. Putting on a swimsuit-like outfit and striking poses even in the dead of winter. That is what it means to be a cosplayer."

"Is that so."

I stroke the full-face helmet covering my entire head two or three times...

And so, a bizarre soldier costume with a mask imitating a Jack-o'-Lantern attached to the faceplate, alongside a Female Knight costume—one that pushes skin exposure to the absolute minimum, unlike the R-18 variety—wearing an inorganic, porcelain-like mask, stepped foot into the venue of the white-hot competition.

Author's Afterword

To be incredibly meta about it, just imagine a certain Iron [O] Man's mask made to look like a Jack-o'-Lantern, and that certain someone who gives you the Dark Silver Tracer and Gold Tracer.

Translator's Notes

• *[1] Kuh, Kill Me!: The phrase "Kuh, Korose!" (くっ殺せ) is a massive meme/trope in Japanese pop culture regarding proud Female Knights who are captured by orcs/monsters and demand to be killed rather than suffer humiliation (usually leading to R-18 scenarios).

• *[2] Fried out of your mind: Sunraku makes a distinction using drug slang. He says Japanese energy drinks get you "Kimaru" (a buzz/high), but this American one gets you "Gangimaru" (absolutely blitzed/fried).

• *[3] Tonight / Two-Nights: The raw text relies on a phonetic Japanese pun. "Tonight" (トゥナイト) and "Two All-Nighters" (二徹 - Ni-Tetsu or colloquially read here as Tu-Naito) sound identical.

• *[4] Hood: Pencilgon uses the yakuza/delinquent slang Shima (シマ), meaning territory or turf.

• *[5] What games they're from: As confirmed by the Author's Note, Pencilgon is cosplaying as Lord's Blade Ciaran from Dark Souls, and Sunraku is wearing a sci-fi soldier suit with a Jack-o'-Lantern styled faceplate.