Chapter 159: Anonymous (Idiot) Bastard A-Team, and the Gathering Storm

Results of the Atlanticus Repnorca Battle

• Reflecting Bone of the Nether-King Orca

• Coagulated Feeling Feather of the Nether-King Orca

• Fan-Sweeping Fin of the Nether-King Orca

• Heavy Cranial Shell of the Nether-King Orca

• Sturdy Resilient Skin of the Nether-King Orca

• A massive amount of recovery items consumed due to getting emotional and brute-forcing the clear

• Experience points that were neither helpful nor harmful

• Status Effect: Sleep Deprivation

• The despair of looking at the clock and seeing 4:00 AM

• The despair of looking at the clock and seeing 10:00 AM

• Sarcastic comments from two absolute scumbags

• A newly erupted problem caused by remembering a certain fact

"Damn it all... They always say reality is the ultimate Trash Game above all else..."

"Well if it isn't Mr. Hizutome making his executive entrance, 'sup!"

"So, how did that brunch taste? How did it taste eating brunch while making everybody wait for you??"

"The fact that I can't argue back hurts more than anything, is this what guilt feels like...?"

I found out later that these two had pretty much overslept as well, and yet they still had the gall to hit me with that level of trash talk.

Moving to the cyberspace, we were currently sitting around a round table in the entrance lobby, using the characters we had been using just before this as our avatars.

"The venue is currently holding Day 1 of the GGC as we speak, but unfortunately for us, we're stuck in here having a strategy meeting for our match against Star Rain."

"Katzo-kun, I'll ask just in case, but... how strong are those three macho men besides Sylvia-chan?"

"Every single one of them was a top 20 player on the world rankings in the previous game."

"Honestly, wouldn't it be better to just slip some laxatives in their drinks before the match?"

"Could you stop dropping outrageously scummy suggestions like it's nothing!?"

Ignoring my teammates making a total racket, I was currently agonizing over a certain problem.

(Yeah, that's right... I'm gonna have to tell these two about Ctarrnid, and about Rust & Mold...)

To begin with, the reason I'm challenging Ctarrnid right now traces back to a contract I made with two players I encountered in Nephilim Hollow. Since the scenario actually did lead to Ctarrnid, I now have to provide those two with the usage rights for a mech... a Tactical Machine Beast in exchange.
And in order to do that, I have to persuade these two right here—in this specific situation where I ended up leaving them out of a Unique Monster raid, of all things!

"Isn't this a literally impossible game...?"

"Did Sunraku-kun seriously just whine about something?"

"Hey, hey, don't start spouting senile nonsense on us now, Sunraku."

The peanut gallery was making some noise, but I didn't have the time for that. If I want to persuade these two, the quickest method would be to intentionally fail the EX Scenario I'm currently challenging and retry it; that way, I could add the two of them to the party and participate in the EX Scenario together, which would definitely lower the difficulty of the negotiations.
However, that also means I have no idea what would happen to the NPCs. Based on what Araba told me, it sounds like if we can't put up a decent fight against Ctarrnid, we might not even be able to return alive, so I should probably go with Plan B here.
Conversely, if I successfully clear the EX Scenario, I can use the rewards as bargaining chips. In other words, I'll take a Unique-tier item and—

"Use it as a hostage to blackmail..."

"Hey Kei, this old samurai is saying some seriously dangerous stuff!?"

"Get a grip, Sunraku! That scummy trickery is Pencilgon's specialty, isn't it!"

"Maybe I really should spike your drink with laxatives first? Hmm??"

Ugh, shut up, shut up, shuuuut uuuuup.
But if I want to make everything go smoothly, that really is the only way. Defeat the Unique Monster "Ctarrnid of the Abyss," and bring the items obtained from it to the negotiating table for Pencilgon. I can talk Katzo into anything, I just need to persuade Pencilgon. In other words, what is required of me right now is—

"The overwhelming power to trample over the absurd...!!"

"Ah—, Sunraku, are you... perhaps not listening to a word we're saying?"

"Huh? What are you talking about, Mr. Can't-Trigger-a-Unique-Himself."

"Pro Gamer Chop!"

"Gofuu!?"

"Alright then, Mr. Dude-Whose-Head-Has-Become-Unique, how about you tell us your impression of Star Rain?"

"...To be completely blunt, if we go up against those three, we can definitely stunlock them to death with Pencilgon if things go well."

Holding my throbbing head, I cleanly and decisively delivered my evaluation of everyone on the opposing team except their ace.

"Those three, do they practice martial arts or something?"

"Yeah, they do. Pretty sure this guy right here has a heavyweight boxing license."

"Why didn't he just go down the path of a boxer... well whatever. Basically, players who practice martial arts always end up having their playstyle dragged in that direction no matter what."

Normally, you wouldn't call that a weakness; in this modern era, the specific breed of people who know the extremely analog methods of combat hold a massive advantage in fighting games. It often serves as an advantage, and only rarely becomes a weakness.
But because of that very reason, something that normally wouldn't be a weakness will become their weak point in this upcoming battle.

"Put simply?"

"Boxing is something you do in a ring using only your gloves."

Seeing our Charismatic Model-dono flash a wonderfully evil grin and Natsume-shi looking at it with an indescribable expression... Right, I suddenly got curious about something, so I decided to ask the person in question.

"Hey, Pencilgon, are you gonna show up with that face?"

"No, no, of course not, I'm gonna make sure my face is properly hidden when I go out there. I'd be just a liiiitle too stimulating for the teens of the world, after all."

"Ah, that reminds me. What names do you two want to register under? If you don't have any specific requests, I'll register us as Sunraku and Pencil Warrior."

Ah, right, as long as we're participating in a tournament, we need screen names. Honestly, it's not like I want to stand out using the name Sunraku either...

"Register me as Anonymous Hopeful Alpha or something."

"Ah, then I'll be Anonymous Hopeful Omega."

Hmm.

"...No, actually, maybe I'll go with Anonymous Hopeful Type-Zero."

"Then I guess I'll go with... Anonymous Hopeful Ghost Number..."

Hmmmmm.

Five minutes later.

"Sigh... So Sunraku will be 'The Anonymous Hopeful of the Deep-Seated Illness Unleashed From the Beyond' and Pencilgon will be '†Mystic Lady of the Noble Anonymous Hopeful†', is that fine?"

"Actually, never mind."
"Actually, never mind."

We'd die if we got called that, in more ways than one.

"...Shouldn't we just go with Mysterious Helper Number One and Number Two at this point?"

I guess you could say it's just human nature to feel like that's kind of lame, wouldn't you agree, Natsume-shi?

"Alright, at this point, the esteemed Pro Gamer will decide your names for you."

"Oh?"

"Sunraku will be 'Gunball'[*1] and Pencilgon will be 'Black Curtain'[*2]."

"Who the hell are you calling a Bullet/Pawn, huh!?"

"If anything, YOU'RE the 'Mastermind' this time around!!"

"Ugh, shut up you active Chuunibyous, we have to decide this before noon!"

Another thirty minutes passed.

"...Alright, so as a result of a strict fistfight, the names have been decided."

That's right, Sunraku is ultimately nothing more than a private name. Our "True Names" for official tournaments shall be...!!

For the time being, I will absolutely never forgive Katzo.

<<Hey Sylvi, did Kei's team have members with names like this?>>

<<Hmm? Did they bring in some rookies or something... Wait, what is this, 'No Face' and 'No Name'?>>

"Damn it... Giving us crap like, 'You guys are determined not to show your faces or reveal your names no matter what, so this is good enough, right'... "

The fact that I couldn't really argue back pissed me off. Also, I definitely didn't think it was simple and kinda cool, I totally didn't.
Thinking about it now, we were making a fuss over something incredibly trivial, but there's no point in dragging up the past.

It was just before noon; Katzo had gone AFK to submit our entry applications and because he got called out for something, Natsume-shi was apparently dealing with a phone call caused by the backlash of her forced schedule adjustments, and Pencilgon went to pick up a package for some evil scheme... I mean, she had ordered some delivery and went to receive it.
And as for me, having nothing in particular to do, I had come to the hotel's restaurant. Since I obviously couldn't walk out into a public space wearing a gas mask, I was barefaced. If the other members saw me... well, it wouldn't really be an issue.

"That said, I just ate a meal a little while ago, so I want a light snack, no, I want something sweet."

Dessert, dessert... wait, there are no prices written on here. Don't tell me the cost of meals is included in the accommodation fee? Seriously?

"Let's see, this Rare Cheesecake ~Garnished with the Splash of Midsummer Fruits~ looks pretty interes—"

"Steak 900 grams, portions for four. One Medium, two Rares, one Well-Done, AND MAKE SURE THE RARE AND WELL-DONE HAVE EXTRA GARLIC."

What the hell is that incantation, just hearing it is enough to give someone heartburn.
I came here alone, which means that order was placed by a complete stranger to the staff. But driven by curiosity, I turned around... and froze with my face twitching.

"...You've gotta be kidding me."

Macho, Macho, skip one, Macho.
There was a herd of machos standing right there, the kind that made you wonder if terrorists were going to storm the hotel just because they were present, or if a shootout with a mysterious secret society was about to start, or if a truck was going to come crashing through the entrance.
And among the three macho men, there was exactly one non-macho... and because of that, she stood out all the more—a single blonde woman. This group of four, who looked so incredibly American you'd think they stepped right out of a Hollywood movie, was rapidly chattering away in English about something.

"...The mandatory skill of all Japanese people, Presence Concealment."

Right behind where I was sitting were the first-string members of that Star Rain team. Slowly returning my turned head back to its original position, I attempted to thin my presence, telling myself I am a mob, I am a single piece of the background scenery.
Faced with this sudden real-life encounter, I put my all into exercising the Japanese stealth skill used to minimize the probability of being called on by a language teacher to its absolute limit.

".........Huh?"

He couldn't comprehend the words that had just been spoken to him. Kei unintentionally let out a dumb-sounding voice in response to that "order." Were they perhaps speaking in English or something? If what they were spouting was Japanese, then he couldn't understand the meaning of the words.

"............This is a joke, right?"

"It is not a joke, Uomi. This is an Order from the Cyber Battalion... and by extension, from our 'Sponsors.'"

"Don't screw with me...! Do you even understand what that means!?"

Slamming his tablet onto the ground, Kei roared at the man standing before him, who was, on paper, his superior.
However, without so much as twitching an eyebrow at the furious roar of Kei—who was known to the public as a pleasant young man—the man repeated those words... clearly declaring them as if to make sure he understood.

"Pro Gamer Kei Uomi, tomorrow at the GGC, you will participate in the finals of the 'Ruins War Hounds 6 World Tournament' as a member of the 'Assault Company'. For the full duration. Holding back will not be permitted."

The wind and clouds hurry their movement.

Author's Afterword
Towa Amane, the ideal of teens everywhere: "Girls can shine as brightly as they want! Just like me!!"
Arthur Pencilgon, as witnessed by Natsume-shi: "Honestly, wouldn't it be better to use out-of-game tactics and launch a sneak attack on Star Rain in the dark?"
Natsume-shi: "Ehhh..."

Translator's Notes

•  *[1] Gunball: A literal, broken-English translation of the Japanese Yakuza slang "Teppoudama" (鉄砲玉 - Iron-Gun Ball/Bullet). In the Japanese underworld, a Teppoudama is a low-ranking grunt sent on a one-way suicide mission or assassination, because "a fired bullet never returns." Katzo is cheekily calling Sunraku a disposable pawn.
• *[2] Black Curtain: A literal English translation of the Japanese word "Kuromaku" (黒幕 - Black Curtain). Originating from traditional Japanese theater where stagehands manipulated the set and puppets from behind black curtains, it is the standard Japanese term for a "Mastermind" who pulls the strings from the shadows. Katzo is calling Pencilgon a shady schemer.