Chapter 1: Why do you play video games?

The Evil God Gluttony, who had held the spirits of the world captive, finally falls. From within its colossal frame, multicolored light bursts forth, scattering across the globe. A young girl, watching this unfold with tears streaming down her face, turns toward me with a smile of pure joy.

『Ah, the spirits are being released... Color is returning to the world... It’s all thanks to you. Thank you, truly...!!』

Thinking back, it was a long journey. Various memories come and go in my heart as I wear a brilliant smile and, filled with a thousand emotions, launch myself into the air.

"AND YOU CAN DROP DEAD TOO, YOU SKANK—!!!"

Because of the weirdly intricate settings, standard weapons were useless against the final boss—a supreme "Trash Game" element. To overcome this, I mastered the unarmed combat skill: Punishment Drop. My dropkick connects squarely with the girl's face. The girl... or rather, the Heroine (Trash Bitch) of this game, "Faeria," is sent spinning away like a drill.

However, because this is a cutscene, there is no damage registration. The story proceeds regardless, so the sight of her bouncing around from the impact while reminiscing about our journey is nothing short of a horror show. In the first place, it is utterly futile to throw touching words at me—a pervert wearing nothing but a mask and swim trunks, standing in stark contrast to the magnificent stage and background music.

"Why does the only countermeasure against the final boss deal less damage than my bare hands?! It takes three times as long to deal the same DPS! And why is the joke gear the most effective against the final boss, forcing me to beat him in this pervert getup!? And hey, Faeria-scum, where the hell were you?! You didn't provide any support, yet your voice kept echoing around! Are you an evil spirit?! I’m throwing salt! I’m gonna throw salt at you!!"

『The journey with everyone was hard, but it was fun...!!』

"Even though YOU were the root cause of the main scenario AND the sub-quests!!"

You might ask if barking like this while ruining the atmosphere means I'm actually enjoying the game. But rest assured—I didn't run away from this game precisely for this moment.

Faeria Chronicle Online: Prayer of the Fairy Princess is an online remake of a self-proclaimed masterpiece RPG released during the dawn of VRRPGs. Generally speaking, its reputation can be summed up in two words: Trash Game.

The enemy mobs possess vicious AI capable of executing high-level encirclement and annihilation tactics. In contrast, your ally NPCs possess AI so incredibly stupid that they will dump their entire stock of healing magic on a wall. This isn't a joke; it is a fact without an ounce of exaggeration.

Approximately ninety percent of the story follows this flow: "Heroine causes a problem" → "Heroine makes the problem worse" → "Someone dies" → "Player fixes it" → "Somehow it’s all the Evil God’s fault." Because of this, the heroine and the story have been reviewed with descriptors such as "Dementia," "Skank," "I actually pity the Evil God," "The woman who pulled more aggro than the Final Boss," and "True Evil."

And above all else, the bugs. "Grasslands that explode when you walk on them," "Pitfalls that teleport you directly to the Final Boss area," and "A boss that moves at triple speed if the Heroine is in your party (Note: In solo play, the Heroine is forced into your party for story reasons)." Et cetera, et cetera... Since the developers claimed these were carried over from the offline era, you almost have to laugh.

However, this game had a singular power that made it worth the purchase price: the fact that for the three minutes after defeating the Final Boss and before the credits roll, you can attack the Heroine with zero restrictions.

Incidentally, if you attack the Heroine at any time other than this specific window—known among the players who survived the penance as the "Three Minutes of Reward"—the story will not progress unless you raise her affection stat, and every other NPC will verbally abuse you endlessly. It is a mechanic only a masochist could enjoy.

Enemies that are too strong, a scenario that is too trash, and bugs that are too unpredictable. Having started playing Faeria Chronicle Online—commonly known as "Faer-kuso"—which was said to have built the Triangle Pyramid of the Trash Game World with this unholy trinity... Ten days later. After throwing approximately twenty-four hours of my life down the drain and finally clearing this Trash Game, I was now feeling a strange sense of refreshment.

If I had to compare it, it’s like seeing the open blue sky after finishing a prison sentence. Or perhaps like finding a lost contact lens in the middle of a desert...

But there is only one thing I can say with absolute certainty.

"I am never playing this Trash Game again."

As I watched the List of War Criminals (End Credits) roll by accompanied by weirdly majestic music, I soaked in a definite sense of accomplishment, even as I spoke those words.